Posts by Craig Ranapia
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Edith says it better than I ever could. And the French deserve our thanks for making the bloody All Blacks WORK like drag queens in a walk off.
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Up Front: Casual, Shallow and Meaningless, in reply to 3410,
... which largely explains why Craig is yet to be knighted.
I could see how offering to steam clean the head of state's downstairs carpet for a modest fee would put a crimp in that ambition.
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Up Front: Casual, Shallow and Meaningless, in reply to Yamis,
What would be some good ice breakers that aren’t of the How are you?, What do you do variety?
I’ve long suspected Laurie Anderson must be a gas at cocktail parties. Que es mas macho iceberg or volcano?
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The worse small talk starter ever (and one I use distastefully often) is "And what do you do?" How the hell do you answer that? Need to discourage it by answering: “Hand job twenty, blow job fifty, full monty two hundred (with a rubber). No anal, bondage or kinky shit. Especially with shit. Or piss. Or animals. How about you?”
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Up Front: Casual, Shallow and Meaningless, in reply to Emma Hart,
If nothing else, thank you for the reminder why I shave my own head.
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Up Front: Casual, Shallow and Meaningless, in reply to BenWilson,
Yes, men don’t expose their privates so easily. Some of that is possibly because they’re far more easy to tear clean off than a woman’s.
Oh, I’ve got the fine art of over-sharing to an intimidating degree while revealing absolutely nothing of value. Much finger food and a faint air of bemused fascination also help those unavoidable bouts of social intercourse pass on fleet feet. Funny how people don't notice if you're mute, when you actually find what other say much more interesting than the sound of your own voice.
(I do enjoy Christmas parties though – wee fruit mince pies and an intense discharge of social obligations? Wizard.)
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Once, a very nice woman kindly asked me if my daughter read the Color Fairies books like all the other daughters
Is this were you furrow your brow enigmatically, and say that you have issues with Andrew Lang's Anglocentric bias and cultural insenitivity?
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Hard News: Winning the RWC: it's complicated, in reply to Kumara Republic,
The ghost of Foreskin’s Lament still seems to walk amoung us.
Hah, I remember when I used to just change the subject when asked what I thought of THE HOLY TRILOGY – because even I have my limits when it comes to lung-busting rows over shit that doesn’t really matter. (Then again, it was a fascinatingly virulent outbreak of the inverted cultural cringe that thankfully burnt out without killing the patient.)
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Hard News: Winning the RWC: it's complicated, in reply to Sacha,
I will go dig out a more than usually stupid Michael Laws column on the subject of arts funding - 'cause, you know, all those lazy pooves need to stop bludging and get a real job, or something. If you insist. I usually insist on being paid for degrading and dispirited labour like that,
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Hard News: Winning the RWC: it's complicated, in reply to Islander,
That said, I have no problem with others enjoying or watching it
And I can understand why people aren’t that fussed about Opera New Zealand staging the world premiere of a new work by a local composer at the International Arts Fest next year, or the pretty interesting line up Ethan Stiefel has for his debut season as the artistic director of the Royal New Zealand Ballet.
But I get a wee bit fucked off at New Zealand singers and dancers (many of whom are, yes, among the best in the world at what they do) being sneered at. I’d like to put your average boofhead in a rehearsal studio with 70 year-old Jon Trimmer for a week and see who's left standing at the end of it.
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