Hard News by Russell Brown

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Hard News: Who else forgot to get married?

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  • Yamis,

    Traditionally Korean women want to find a bloke they can 'tolerate' at worst, or quite like, who will provide for them and their kids.

    Times are a changing though. These days there is a massive trend towards either not marrying at all, and not wanting to (being career driven), or else being a little more picky over male companions.

    I know that a lot of people on here aren't married but hell, I like to think I mix in fairly ordinary circles and most everybody I know is either formally bonded in some way or aiming to be. It's not that out of fashion :)

    Since Nov 2006 • 903 posts Report

  • Sam M,

    Wow, 8 pages and not a single advocate for the traditional approach? I'm starting to worry that I may be on the wrong website. All these years as a loyal Public Address reader (and even VERY occasional poster) and it turns out I may better belong over at Kiwiblog? Please someone tell me it aint so.

    I (think possibly I) recognise the selfishness of it, but it was always important to me that my wife would take my name. In my younger (less mature) years I may have gone so far as to call it a show-stopper - though that was never tested.

    It may stem from the fact that from a very young age it was impressed upon me by my grandmother that my role was to carry on my (father's, admittedly) family name. Even as an adult, I could recognise the silliness of that, but it has always weighed on me nevertheless.

    I also felt that I wanted to create a strong sense of family and that we all had to have the same name to do that (and, it had to be mine - yes, the less defensible part).

    I had one girlfriend who always swore she would not take the name of her husband and what seemed to me to be driving it was her strong connection to her own family. My response was always that I wanted to create that strong connection in my own kids. Always wondered how that would have ended up had we stayed together.

    Anywho - no real reason to post except to add to the myriad of approaches recorded I guess. One poster who preferred the traditional approach (as flawed as it may be).

    Were I to have my time over, it most certainly would not be a show-stopper. Even the most immature 20 something year old can grow up eventually - though I would always be a little sad on the inside.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 72 posts Report

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