Hard News by Russell Brown

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Hard News: Rodney on the Road

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  • Public Servant on a tea-break.,

    "(... Nelson, if he'd lost the world would have been a better place)

    Not Wellington?

    Or Alexander I?"


    Well, Nelson's winning of dominance of European seapower both prevented invasion of Great Britain, and predated Wellington's activities in the Napoleonics by about four years. So yes, thinking in those terms, Nelson is to blame for preventing the spread of the metric system to the English speaking world for 160 years.

    Even had Wellington and Tzar Alexander failed to halt Napoleonic France significantly, the evidence is between the Battle of Trafelgar and the invasion of Russia, during significant years of European dominance for France, Napoleon did not attempt to remount an invasion of Great Britain.

    So I judge for the original joke. Well done Paul Campbell.

    Wellington • Since Apr 2008 • 67 posts Report Reply

  • Jeremy Eade,

    He has earned the moniker of “Minister for Ratepayers” for his determination to crack down on red tape and needless bureaucracy, and because of his focus on the rights of ratepayers and residents, rather than councils.

    There's something so wrong about this?

    auckland • Since Mar 2008 • 1112 posts Report Reply

  • Jeremy Eade,

    It's like when Micheal Jackson started calling himself "the king of pop".

    auckland • Since Mar 2008 • 1112 posts Report Reply

  • Joe Wylie,

    "King of ratepayers" doesn't have the same ring as "king of pop". It just evokes an image of some bald git.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4592 posts Report Reply

  • TracyMac,

    Re Nelson, the time machine would need to take you back a few years for Chez Eelco as well. I think it's a travesty, but then again, Auckland can't talk. It still gyps me when I walk around the movie theatre monstrosity where DKD used to be.

    Canberra, West Island • Since Nov 2006 • 701 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    where DKD used to be

    Sigh. The seuss-ish steps. That latticed private outlook over rainy Queen St. Yummy cakes. Fine people.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19705 posts Report Reply

  • Amy Gale,

    Note to self, do not make days-gone-by cracks about Nelson on internet.

    tha Ith • Since May 2007 • 471 posts Report Reply

  • Lucy Stewart,

    Note to self, do not make days-gone-by cracks about Nelson on internet.

    It's a bit like Blenheim: everyone buggers off to more interesting places ASAP, so the rest of the country is populated with ex-Nelsonians. And, unlike Blenheim, it's popular enough for holidays that plenty of people have fond holiday memories of it, too.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2105 posts Report Reply

  • Amy Gale,

    So is it that nobody understood what I meant, or just that nobody who said anything understood what I meant?

    I'm going to go and eat worms. In my affordable Golden Bay bach. To which my trip will include driving SH60 along a completely unpopulated coast to Motueka. Without meeting any tourists on the wrong side of the road.

    tha Ith • Since May 2007 • 471 posts Report Reply

  • Hilary Stace,

    I'm going to go and eat worms

    As in this old vegetarian rhyme, Amy?


    Nobody loves me, everybody hates me
    I'm going to go eat worms
    Long thin slimy ones, big fat fuzzy ones
    Ughey gooey ughey gooey worms

    Long thin slimy ones slip down easily
    Big fat fuzy ones don't
    Big fat fuzzy ones stick to your teeth
    And the juice goes slurp down your throat

    Wgtn • Since Jun 2008 • 3214 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    So is it that nobody understood what I meant, or just that nobody who said anything understood what I meant?

    Yep :)

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6796 posts Report Reply

  • Joe Wylie,

    There is a season, worms, worms, worms
    And a time to every purpose under heaven
    The kind that crawl, the kind that fly . . .

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4592 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle,

    the movie theatre monstrosity

    It is hideous. And dangerous for kids. And for people who are nervous about heights, sort of scary. But at the same time, it's so totally nuts that it's almost appealing: a grand folly. Every time I go in there I marvel at how user-unfriendly it is (those tiny corridors to the loos and the lifts! The insanely high escalators! That crazily long spiral staircase which gives you vertigo almost immediately!). Who were the architects?

    I miss DKD too...

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes,

    Re Nelson.

    It's a bit like Blenheim: everyone buggers off to more interesting places ASAP, so the rest of the country is populated with ex-Nelsonians.

    I know someone who left home to live in Nelson and started up a Pizza restaurant there, mind you, he did come from Palmaston North.
    ;-)

    Peria • Since Dec 2006 • 5521 posts Report Reply

  • Yamis,

    Last year my wife went to Korea with our 2 year old for 3 months to catch up with her family while I stayed in NZ working. A colleague has had his missus working in OZ for a year and they have been meeting up in the holidays. Another mate was in NZ for a year (last year) training to be a teecha while his wife stayed overseas working so they were earning enough money to get by in the meantime.

    We are all available for Rodney to meet us for advice on how to keep a relationship together when you are apart, and whats more on about a quarter of what he earns.

    Call us Rodney, on 555-HYPOCRITEBUSTERS

    Since Nov 2006 • 903 posts Report Reply

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