Yellow Peril by Tze Ming Mok

You have a pretty green mushroom cloud

Hiroshima Day on the weekend, 8-8-88 massacre anniversary today, 70 million dead Chinese people bugging me to finish writing that Jung Chang feature... Obvious outlet: learn how to tell warmongers and dictators to f*ck their mother's stinky c*nts in FOUR Chinese dialects!

I happened upon this invaluable resource just yesterday, while overloaded with historical tragedy. Much of the Mandarin I was already familiar with - but good lord, is Mandarin swearing totally pussy compared with those gutter-dialects of the Southeast or what. Comparing the vocabulary, it reminds me of the time I studied kung fu but could only shout my 'counting-to-ten' drills in Mandarin for the first few weeks, projecting the fearsome impression that I was inviting my opponent to a tea-garden to listen to some light opera, rather than threatening to pummel their face in. Now I know that the implications of saying 'you have a pretty green hat' to an adult man in Mandarin are utterly deadly.

Meanwhile, those Cantos and Hokks trade pretty hats and cursing families unto the 18th generation for good old infinite variation on: 1) things that can be fucked and 2) grades of unpleasant pussy. Now I can enter Hong Kong with my head held high.

Downtown commemorations: Matt Donaldson's anti-nuclear billboard design is up near 97 Cook St; Burmese refugees are remembering the Rangoon massacre of students and others by the military, opposite Britomart between 5pm and 7pm today. Here's my review of Mao: The Unknown Story that was in the Dom the other month if you feel like compounding the misery.