Yellow Peril by Tze Ming Mok

Not the Chris Anderton band

Known homosexual and racially impure Jeremy Lambert is indignant that he has been left off the hitlist taken out by Redwatch Downunder against 'anarchists, reds, homos and multiculturalists.' Outrageously, myself and Ahmed Zaoui have also been excluded! Who are these Redwatch people, racists?

From Fightdemback, the main targets of the trans-Tasman neo-fascist Redwatch hitlist:

Lambert's emergence has caused an enormous amount of tension between the Australian and New Zealand factions of Fight dem back!. Campaign founder Mat Henderson-Hau issued a brief statement last night.

"It's hurtful. You put in all this hard work to be the number one enemy of racist bigots on both sides of the Tasman and Lennie Lambert and Neville Nobody come from the clouds to try and take your crown. I will continue the fight regardless. I too have some fantastic photos available. Some of them include drunken party shots with real live black people and Asians. I have a whole batch from a post Mardi gras party as well, I'd love to see Lambert top that," he said.

The National Front, whose members have been given an open pass to submit candidates for the hitlist, have also really let me down. According to NF veteran Kerry Bolton, in a comment deleted by the moderators of this page, I led a Communist mob in a vicious assault on the National Front last Labour Weekend. Not to mention my part in the West's cycle of decline. Kyle Chapman has also threatened to personally sue me for defamation, before realising that it would be rather easy for me to demonstrate what I said was true. All this affirmation and now they classify me as a non anarchist-red-homo-multiculturalist? Such bathos.

So: A late laugh anyhow. Although I lurk on the fightdemback forum, and nudged The Herald into covering the hitlist issue, I've been slow in deciding whether to join in the gagfest or keep silent on this.

Because, how funny is this, really? From Redwatch Downunder Hitlist coordinator Ben Weerhym to a person unfortunate enough to be on said list:

"I WILL seriously assault you, I don't care if I go to jail dickhead, I will stomp on your fucking head, I couldn't care who reads this,you are a filthy peice of shit that deserves to be badly assaulted... It may not happen straight away but I will store it in my brain for another time. You think I am an evil nazi? I will go out of my way for you to definately think so."

And how funny are these experiences, really? <A HREF="
" target="_blank">From norightturn's comments

Have you had your grandparents gravestones attacked by neo-nazis?
Have you been followed down Cuba St (one of the main streets in Welly) by 3 neo-nazis, who have been sent your photo by people who have emailed you threats against your life?
I didn't think so.
# posted by Asher : 6/21/2005 12:21:43 AM

Asher: I think in this case, The Police Are Your Friend. As is a PXT phone and ss 307 ("threatening to kill") and 311 ("attempting to incite or procure") of the Crimes Act.
# posted by Idiot/Savant : 6/21/2005 12:33:59 AM

I/S - The police know all about this, and have not done anything.
[...] At the end of the day though, all it takes is one lone nutter to cause serious damage. This is especially true when they realise (as they have) that going the "legitimate" political route is never going to bring about their aims or achieve any success.
# posted by Asher : 6/21/2005 01:11:04 AM

And I joked about it at the time, but how hard was I really laughing at this?

Anonymous comment May 28, 2005 - 02:19 AM
"How about i try a little fast-moving fist on your face[?]"

I called the police and asked them how funny it was: they said 'go on your gut'. My gut rumbled for a minute, then told me not to be a pussy.

Not only do I not really want to be on the list, I also don't want to be seen to be mocking the list in an attempt to get on the list. But, like Jeremy Lambert, I am also in the phone book, and here's a nice photo of me and and a few other potentials to include.

The fingertipful of rabid, disorganised, but possibly dangerous white supremacists lurking in the suburban wastelands would never take on people such as myself, with friends in the mainstream media, or real ethnic and refugee community leaders like Pancha Narayanan and Dr 'Ras' Rasalingam who are respected public figures. We're just not vulnerable enough to be targeted, unless the perpetrators are complete fucking morons.

Wait a minute... That was not a strong argument.

But face it, me, Ras, Pancha, Deborah Manning, Chris Carter, Witi Ihimaera, we're not in trouble. The people at risk are the anarchist kids: skinny balaclava'd teen and post-teen deep-cover nazi-watchers and streetfront nazi-baiters. The ones who stick up posters, set up political communities in condemned buildings, who chain themselves to bulldozers, who the cops hate, and who the media don't listen to. Though they may get carried away with internet-facilitated braggadocio, they also do the work that 'respectable' public figures don't have to. They dig for information on illegal activities and hate-crimes, they find it and then they publicise it when the police will not. And they take the brunt of the consequences when push comes to shove. Punk and hippy kids, mainly Pakeha, have been bashed and bullied by skinheads in Wellington and in Christchurch, and who stood up for them? You assume that these activists go into this with their eyes open. And they have the bravado of youth, that Aristotelian foolhardiness that shifts courage from a virtue to a vice. All the more reason to make sure they are protected, because how prepared are they for those consequences? Who's got their back? They aren't just out there for the thrill of the chase, the confrontation and argument. I have noticed some real achievements come out of the recent FDB Trans-Tasman coordination around intelligence and publicity, which has played a strong role in the collapse of the New Zealand National Front. With the intensity of this network of scrutiny, I think there's a good chance that mutant planned eruptions such as that marae fire-bombing, or those graveyard desecrations, could be prevented from happening again. I give them props, not the least for allowing the rest of us to laugh at the expense of confused neo-nazis.

A very good Sri Lankan friend of mine had real reasons to fear skinheads while she was growing up in the UK. There and then, the National Front roamed in mobs, smashing shopfront windows and terrorising Asian families. Another friend, a young Somali, has felt the end of a National Front baseball bat on the streets of Newtown, Wellington. As luck would have it, they're both acting in a new ensemble play Migrant Nation, directed by Chapman-Tripp nominated Jade Eriksen. I unreservedly recommend it - don't worry, it won't be some amateur 'worthy ethnic' guff. Jade's previous work with with Yatra and Penumbra has been outstanding. Trust me, I'm a snob. And the cast showcases the finest, truest, and funniest acting talent we have to offer, including the very spunky Katlyn 'oh-my-god-you-have-the-same-name-as-my-brother' Wong Tsz-Hung. My desi pals have a theatre company called The Untouchables, and I hope to one day start up a theatre company with Kat called The Unpronounceables. I mean... Tsz doesn't even have a vowel! I look at her name and feel blessed. The Auckland run (1-5 July) will, I believe, feature guest appearances from Ahmed Zaoui. Book now before Redwatch Downunder snaps up all the best seats.

Anyway, feel free to vote for the real reasons why I'm not on the Redwatch list, or suggest your own:

1. It's impossible to figure out who to target in the Chinese community because there are no clear leaders and there is too much disagreement, including disagreement over whether the Chinese community actually exists
2. Redwatch don't think that Asians actually have the ability to be individually threatening because we are so inferior (despite being invaders).
3. Only the homosexual ruling cabal comprised of faggy jew communists, civil servants and the mainstream media (I suppose they all qualify under the heading of faggy jew communists) read Public Address.
4. Redwatch can't spell my name, and therefore haven't found me on Google.
5. Redwatch know they'd never be able to tell me apart from all the other Asians in Auckland.