Up Front by Emma Hart


The Doctor Will See You Shortly

Picture me briefly as Dr. David Haywood’s secretary. It shouldn’t prove difficult: my hair is even currently held up with a pencil.

Dr. Haywood is currently in a meeting*, I’m afraid. He would, however, like to pass on his warmest regards, and remind you that he will be at Arty Bee’s Books in Wellington’s vibrant Cuba Quarter tomorrow (Friday 27th) from 1 – 2pm. I shall of course be accompanying him, because otherwise the poor man would have nowhere to put his pencil.

We will be signing books, and reading from them. I’d recommend popping along and getting your copy of The New Zealand Reserve Bank Annual signed. One day, you’ll be watching the news, leap from your chair and cry, “I know him! The guy in the handcuffs! And I have a signed copy of what I guess we have to call ‘Exhibit B’ now.”

Remember, too, to RSVP for the launches if you haven’t already. Everything going to plan, you should soon be able to do this for the Christchurch launch as well, which is currently down for Monday the 7th of December (or ‘the night before I have a CT scan at 7am').

Those of you interested in the further details of Dr. Haywood’s literary career – for instance, when you can breathlessly catch his upcoming radio spots – may benefit from following my Twitter feed (@Ghetsuhm). I’ll endeavour to keep you all up to date on his comings and goings. I solemnly promise to link to hardly any BDSM equipment shops.

I’m about to climb on a plane and head to one of my favourite New Zealand cities. Please, if I know you but I’ve never seen your face before, do come up and introduce yourself, I’d love to meet you all in the flesh. And then I can vet you for introducing to the person I’m trying to get people to start calling ‘Herr Doktor’.

*By which I mean he’s stuck in the Hutt Valley with no net connection

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