Having a termination is not always about ending the culmination of a stray root with a stranger after too many cocktails.

Sometimes it is a necessary, very conscious, and ultimately heartbreaking decision made by two people, already loving parents, for the greater good. I don’t know how to articulate my argument except to explain a real story from a real person’s life – mine, as it happens.

This year I had an abortion at 23 weeks 5 days gestation. The reasons and the process was this: I had low amniotic fluid caused by bleeding (placental abruption) from 13 weeks. Amniotic fluid is required for lung development and lack of it causes premature labour. Despite good growth of our baby girl, the amniotic fluid was depleting fast.

At 23 week 3 days gestation we were told by a specialist at the fetal medicine clinic that the likelihood of our baby developing lungs was 2%. At which point we were offered a termination, based on severe fetal abnormality, if a second specialist agreed. We decided that because of this and the baby would be born close to viability (24 weeks) and with the premature problems associated (Cerebral palsy or death) that we would terminate.

To do this we had to get the support of the second specialist. The following day, based on the notes only, the second specialist was more positive about the chances of survival. We had already made the decision to terminate (and told family and come to terms with our decision) based on the previous specialists advice, so were flummoxed by the second specialist’s more positive prognosis.

We spent an hour being given false hope. Once a room became available for an ultrasound scan the second specialist examined me. She told us what little amniotic fluid detected the previous day by the first specialist had completely gone and she apologised profusely and agreed a severe fetal abnormality was the likely outcome.

The problem now was convincing the hospital bureaucracy -- because a termination at 23 weeks 5 days was just two days before it was illegal (i.e. the baby was considered viableat 24 weeks). We had to move quick, otherwise the option would be gone to us. The specialists advised us that a termination in these circumstances was preferable for all concerned because the trauma, for the mother and medical staff of the baby crying at birth, then inevitably dying.

The specialist managed to convince the hospital bureaucracy to allow the termination, not on the grounds of maternal mental health, as suggested previously (I wasn’t playing crazy bitch for anyone) but based on very poor fetal prognosis.

The following day we went to have the termination procedure. A dose of Pethadine for me and a needle through the womb, into the heart. It hadn’t occurred to me yet, but I still had to give birth.

I went home and waited for for labour to start. It did 24 hours later. After five hours of painful labour I gave birth. A silent birth. Our baby girl was cleaned and dressed. Photographs were taken. My partner held her, I looked.

Too easy? No. But the right decision. Yes.

There's a great deal of pontificating going on here. Anyone have some actual life experience?