Thanks Emma. Great article. I moved away from CHCH over a year ago because I could and because I couldn't take any more of my house dramas and flooding. Everything about my life changed on Feb 22 and it still is rolling in. The thing is, even if you move away from CHCH the effects of Feb 22 are embedded in ones psyche. My marriage is hanging on by a thread as we have reacted to the earthquakes in almost opposite ways. Ive buried two people close to me who seemed the healthiest people before the Earthquakes and who completely changed afterwards. Co -incidence? Maybe health studies in years to come will tell me whether this is so. I go back to CHCH regularly to visit my best friend of 50 years who has Stage 4 Cancer. She hated each earthquake with a terrible fear and each earthquake made her drink more and tense up and surely that must have an impact. I was back for Feb 22 and felt so much for the families who had lost loved ones and for those who had become disabled or sad because of the quakes. Now when I go to CHCH I avoid looking at or going into the centre of the city. And thats rather a large avoidance, Instead I prefer to go into the Gardens and be amazed at how all the beautiful plants and trees seemed to survive and Im so pleased they did. This visit I noticed a lot more woman and men biking with groceries and baskets and a determined bloody look on their faces. I know they are CHCH's legacy...they will make it home. As for Joe Bennet on Feb 22nd on National Radio....He didn't represent the people that I know and talk to about how they feel living there. So it was a shame he was the person representing CHCH on that day. And I still love CHCH. You can't leave that. You can't forget about that and move on. and it is right to grieve something that you loved and lost.

The only thing I watch regularly on TV is Campbell Live. Most nights. I also watch it on On Demand. I don't watch the news...(I read that online). I don't understand the better ratings on Seven Sharp. It seems neither entertainment or news. Campbell Live always covers the important stories. Oh well..when we let our Telly become de-regulated .......this is what we get.

Thanks Hebe. If it doesn't rain, I'm a lot better.! (P.S. There are good people though in CHCH. )

I had every intention to watch this series. But on the first night, I had a massive argument with my husband about our drains being dug up for the third time in our flooded/ munted house. street...So I was busy.
I really appreciate what you wrote Ian...'
I think that to many Hope and Wire will be like seeing their brilliant ‘novel’ badly filmed by a committee'.
I realised that the Earthquake is still in every pore of my being, oozing out in all that I think and most of what I do and I realised...'this is just a group of people's ideas of this terrible thing that happened. It might be good...it might be bad. I don't know. I'll watch it one day....if I feel like it. But while I have re-runs of what happened beneath this city every day...I'd rather not."
Still, all this time later.,most days, I still hear the power of the mechanic, the hairdresser, the nurse, the friend, telling me their story. It just comes out and I always shut up and listen and feel so quiet and hushed. Everything stands still. This drama may not be my story. It's ok...I don't have to give it any credence. I contain my own story. I hope it helps someone understand something that doesn't make any sense.

Thanks Hebe. This is all true. So hard to do while in the middle of it.

Very sweet of you...thanks will take a look Hebe

After one rebuild and four floods, I don't remember what normal is. I have noticed today some neighbour's who are my dearest friends are not speaking to me. They are turning away when I walk by. Why? Because Ive said loudly lately, how much I have to go.... I have to leave. Its not that I want to...I have to...for the sake of my marriage, my mental health, my life. There is no way they or I can sell, so they just wish I would put my head down and clean up again. Because the more noise I make, the harder it will be for them to clean up, move in and to hope that it will all become right. Hope that they will have an investment. I walk around wondering...am I insane...what is happening to me? I try to mop up and just make more mess, so I sit down and stare blankly at the destroyed garden. I almost laugh at my pitiful attempts to tame the s***t. The whole street is in a state of destruction still from the Earthquake and now a slobbery slime from the floods. Every time it rains, my stomach churns so much that I feel my hands perspiring. So I do deep breathing, but can't relax enough, so end up in a kind of 'First- World Eckart- Tolle -Meditative- Hyperventilation.' I know Im not as bad as the Syrians, but I grieve for a calm state of mind. I look on websites that say..."Are you alright? " (funded by the local health board). I ring the 'not alright' helpline. It doesn't help. I go to the two free counselling sessions with a German women, who says instead of arguing with my husband, I could empower him with praise. I drive home, open the door and see that he hasn't pumped out under the house. And then I begin perspiring again. I know Im at the extreme end....the ones who are weak. But strength hasn't got me anywhere. So now I don't care who knows. And as for John Key being sprung by a TV reporter to talk about the Flockton Basin (and blaming it on the Christchurch City Council) well where do I start?. Cera, National Party, Key and Brownlee have failed CHCH. ..they have failed the poor council and they have failed me. Parts of CHCH do function, the North West.. but I have NEVER seen a National MP out East, nor CERA. If I did now, I wouldn't trust myself to talk to them...I am handing my guns in.