Posts by BenWilson
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My little last minute suggestion re the cop-out cops. This is a true story and it could help you a lot.
One time I reported a very minor theft. A little punk bought my motorbike, and didn't bring any safety gear at all. He was seriously going to ride it to Howick from West Aucklan during peak hour, in a t-shirt, shorts and jandals. So, being a big-hearted fellow, I offered to lend him my very expensive bike jacket and gloves.
A few weeks later I had not heard back from him, and he had also not transferred ownership of the vehicle. No attempts to contact him got me any answers. So I reported the theft to my local community constable. They suggested there was little chance I would every see any action at all on this.
I went back a week later to follow up my report and the copper there was very understanding and said that it sounded like a cheeky little thief. He then complained to me that the police were so busy that they didn't even have time to fix his printer, which he'd been waiting about 6 months for, and had to go through to a different room every time he did a printout, which was hundreds of times a day.
I was very understanding back and told him that I could fix his printer in about 2 minutes. Which he accepted immediately. I then fixed the printer and he was stoked.
About 2 hours later the guy who nicked my jacket turned up, apologizing profusely, and told me there had been no need to call the cops, he was just busy himself.
A day later the copper flagged me down walking past and asked if my jacket had been returned. He seemed very happy that it had been and said it was amazing what the cops could do with cellphone records. I inquired about the printer and he said it was 'just beautiful'. Everyone wins.
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I also really love that the steadfastly keep the penny, despite the fact that basically they're not accepted anywhere, unless you be arsed counting them out in a shop
They make excellent tips for poor service. Maybe that is their purpose, to insult.
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They've made it simpler for the helpdesk staff now - you can't get past the voice recognition software (voiced it would seem, by Michelle A'Court), it doesn't seem to recognise any words at all.
That's not true on either count. I had the pleasure to test it out when Telecom's website suggested that getting a calling card was as easy as dialing 123.
Count 1 - It doesn't recognize words. It recognized 'Calling card' instantly. I was then asked if it was for overseas or local. It doesn't recognize 'Both' as an answer to that, so I said 'Overseas' which it immediately got. It then summarized that I wanted a calling card exclusively for calling overseas and it was going to put me through to the appropriate department. Impressed. Then I got a girl who did not recognize the word 'Calling card', until I'd explained it. She then got me to give her my number (2nd time) and claimed that I was not a Telecom customer. Confused, I suggested that if I was not, then the phone I was talking to her on would not be working, since I didn't pay anyone else either. She finally surmised I must be on a home business plan. I personally can't remember what the plan is and don't see why it mattered to the question at hand, but no, she insisted on transferring me to the Home Business support line. Being Sunday, that line told me that I needed to contact my team leader, and cut me off.
Count 2 - You can't get past the voice recognition software. Dial 123, then 0 repeatedly. It will soon transfer you to a human. This time the human did understand 'Calling card' and asked me for my phone number. I said 'Can I give you my account number instead?'. No problem. Calling card is in the mail. That's how easy it should always be. I then tried to suggest to this person that the voicemail system was not functioning correctly since it didn't transfer me to a calling card department. She then began the 'customer complaint obstruction' script and I decided to call it quits in case she cancelled my calling card out of spite.So, just remember, it's as easy as dialing 123000000000000. Seriously.
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I get really uncomfortable when people look at my computer screen when I haven't invited them to. Even if I'm only doing stuff that it wouldn't be a problem for them to see. It's my private little world that I only want other people to see if I invite them.
Get goggles? Then it can be your own private little 3D world.
Personally I've found that C++ code is visually repugnant to most people, so I've got a randomly changing background of it, and a script that I go through any time anyone is tempted to look over my shoulder: "Oh, this is really fascinating, I just found the funniest bug in my code.....". It goes on, but that part is usually more than enough to induce the lookaway and politely extricate maneuver I was hoping for.
Doesn't work on other programmers, though. They are not safe people to have around. Fortunately they're usually glued to their own workstation.
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And yet I know all these people - and some are quite young and interweb savvy - who share an email address with their honeys. Why?
It's really not that mysterious. It's for mail 'to the couple'. I have one with my wife, and it's used for stuff that's about or to the family as a whole. In practice, it is my wife's account. But we both know the login details. I've still got my personal address, as does she, and any number of work addresses.
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Despite working in the antispam business, and being intimate with email services, and having spent years installing and supporting mail servers, I still use hotmail for personal stuff. It's been great not to have changed my email address since 1992, never to have paid one cent for it, and to only need a browser to use it. They had spam problems for a while, but for the last 5 years it's been fine so long as you report your spam. Using Adblock it's also quite quick.
XTRA is my ISP. Never used their mail service, never saw any point. Was not the least bit surprised when they screwed tens of thousands of customers by switching to authenticated SMTP, like sweet FA of their customers would know what that meant or care. I dealt with them on a daily basis for years, dealing with my customers broadband connections, which always ended up in XTRA's lap. Personally I was usually quite grateful, because getting paid $150 an hour to be on a hold queue was easy money, and none of my customers was ever bitter that it was me and not them doing it, having tried dealing with XTRA themselves a few times. Since I worked from home, it would just go on speakerphone and I'd double time doing other work.
It always amazed me that despite being a network technician who gave them hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of customers, I still had to call the helpless desk every time and tussle with:
1. A voicemail system that made you identify your problem and enter the numbers you were inquiring about.
2. A helpless person who asked you all the same questions again.
3. At least one transfer to a dead line followed by disconnection and goto step 1.
4. Some mid level support person who understood your problem but disavowed any knowledge of it, and denied it was their fault, to whom I had to give all the details of the problem a third (or more) time.
5. A hold queue for an actual technician, the average length of which was about 40 mins.
6. Instantaneous understanding and admission of the problem, together with assurances that they were working on it OR a lengthy procedure of establishing the fault, followed by me telling them what the problem was since it was the 8th time this week that exactly the same thing had happened.Never, ever, ever did anyone ever give me a direct dial number which would have saved them a lot of helpless desk time, and my customers a lot of money.
But it's easy to be philosophical when you're working on an easy problem, or just listening with half an ear to hold music, and getting paid HEAPS for it because it's soooo frustrating to any normal human being that I seemed cheap at the price.
Thanks XTRA, you paid off my student loan and got me a deposit on my house, just for listening to muzak and special deals.
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Oh, and for the record, I love Helen Clark almost as much as I loved my Vic20 back in 1988. It had served me well for 8 years.
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And I'm pretty sure, Ben, we're on the same page that whatever I think of the Demoness Helen Clark even talking about murdering her doesn't crosss the line, it totally obliterates it.
What about talk of merely vanquishing her?
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Thomas Tallis wrote some great motets, such as Spem in Alium around about 1580.
Was that his pornstar name?
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and then of course, one picks up a bone...
...with the help of unimaginably powerful aliens, and seizes power. Next thing you know, it's 2007 and you absolutely definitely can't fly Pan Am to an orbital space station, economy class. Soooo bitter.
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