Posts by Megan Wegan

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  • Up Front: Can't We All Just Fucking Get Along?,

    Thanks Hilary, I was thinking about that a couple of pages ago but forgot to mention it.

    The Bechdel test:

    Yes, and it's a pass for SATC, at least in the olden days.

    Yeah, but SATC II fails the Wegan test for being unconscionably stupid. (Which is not to say anything, except I am still a bit pissed that I wasted $16 and nearly 3 hours of my life on it.)

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report

  • Up Front: Can't We All Just Fucking Get Along?,

    I might just have to concede the point, you make a pretty tight case.

    See, the concerning thing about how I spend my days is that I can not tell if you are being sarcastic or not. :)

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report

  • Up Front: Can't We All Just Fucking Get Along?,

    Yikes. Again, someone who's either mega-etiquette-deficient, or amazingly self-confident. Blokes say uncompromising stuff like that all the time. But I would hope not an indictment of an entire movement?

    Sure. But I don't really understand how telling me I am doing something Bad for Women can really be good for women. Or that telling me I am a bad feminist makes someone else a better feminist.

    Because in these examples, it's not about debate. It's about someone telling me something I, me personally, am doing is wrong. And bad and dangerous.

    Any my boobs can do a lot. But they actually can't make anyone think anything, or do anything.

    I'm all for debate. But sometimes I get the feeling the other side isn't listening. It doesn't feel like people are arguing with me. It feels like people are telling me.

    And maybe I am a little sensitive, but the implication that cleavage and red lipstick make me a slut will do that.

    IF SATC2 is a foolish film, where can I find a good film about women and their lives?

    You know, that's a bloody good question.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report

  • Up Front: Can't We All Just Fucking Get Along?,

    As per example, this dude.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report

  • Up Front: Can't We All Just Fucking Get Along?,

    Golly, who are these women?? I dunno if they're feminists or not, but they sound a smidge deficient in the etiquette department, not to mention the persuasiveness stakes. Do they doorknock, or do you meet them at social events, or what? Seriously.

    I'll answer this on Emma's behalf. Go check out any of the many threads on Boobquake. I was told, to my face, that the only thing I was achieving by supporting it was 'giving men a free look'. Whenever Emma or I mention Tits Out For Ourselves day (hereafter known as TOFO) there is always someone who wants to tell us why we are wrong, and why what we are doing is bad for women. Usually because we're making other women feel bad about themselves, or we are buying into what The Patriarchy wants us to do.

    Seriously, where is this Patriarchy? 'Cos wouldn't, like, fire bombing its offices just make life easier for everyone?

    FWIW I do think action is an important part of identifying as feminist.

    (And not to pick on you Heather, a couple of people have said this, you're just the most recent)

    Yeah, but what does that mean? Someone else mentioned 'collective action', in which case I am going to have to hand back my membership card.

    I've never joined a 'women's' group in my life. I've never marched on anything for women's rights. I doubt I've ever signed a petition. Until last year, I'd never written a letter.

    I am the office stroppy bitch. The one who pulls people up for using gendered language, casual sexism. Who points out problems with headlines, and who complains about the word 'spinster' being used in a news story.

    I read, and I watch, and I vocalise. And if anyone thinks I am not doing enough, they can bite me. I actually will hand back my card.

    One of the most vilified actions of organised feminists historically has been the creation of women-only spaces, which I'm all for. And they recognise that in some circumstances it makes sense to distinguish and it makes sense to exclude. And that "let's all get along" is very often the answer, but not always.

    But I still don't understand how that means men can't be feminists. Some of the best feminists I know are men. Certainly there are men better versed than me in feminist theory. And there are men who advocate harder and do more.

    I avoided the women's room at Canterbury for precisely the reason Emma describes with the letters. If we say you must have had Experience X to belong, then I don't see how any of us can claim to be a part of a movement. Because that's going to end up with some fairly narrow criteria.

    The thing is, gender discrimination hurts _everyone_. It's not just a women's fight. And if there are men willing to stand up and say "I am a feminist", then more power to them.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report

  • Up Front: Can't We All Just Fucking Get Along?,

    It's a pity that we all seem to have such a reduced view of the show now - which I suppose can be partly blamed on Michael Patrick King and the two films.

    Oh, I still love the show. I didn't love the last couple of seasons, except for the fashion, but yeah. The movies didn't ruin it for me. And there are still glimpses of those friendships.

    I described the first movie as kind of like catching up with friends you haven't seen for ages. The second was more like catching up with friends you have drifted apart from, and remembering why.

    PS I feel like I have been unconscionably wishy-washy about feminism, and would like to be Deborah when I grow up. Unfortunately I'm nearly 36 already and I don't think it's likely to ever happen.

    God, me too. Or at least to have her adopt me.

    (Darling, the only way Liza Minnelli is getting anywhere near my fabulous nuptials is if she's made of chicken liver pate.)

    I thought about counting the number of times they said "gay wedding", but by the time I had noticed it, they'd already said it too many times.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report

  • Up Front: Can't We All Just Fucking Get Along?,

    So let's rewrite the joke: SATC (an acronym with wonderful onomatopoeia for such a show) is a show about four women who act like...?

    At the risk of sounding like a humourless penis-hater, SATC is a show about four women who act like women?

    Well, it used to be.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report

  • Up Front: Can't We All Just Fucking Get Along?,

    Sigh. I am torn. I identify as a feminist, and it bugs when other people don't. I've spent a lot of time and effort trying to convince people yes, in fact, they are. I feel like if we don't claim the word, we give away some of the argument, some of The Cause. And, despite what some people might tell you, it's a cause that still needs fighting for.

    But. My feminism is pretty much as broad as it gets. And it basically boils down to this: Stop Telling Me What To Do. I am an autonomous adult, with my own job, and my own money. If I want to waste that all on shoes, or whatevs, that's my business. Nothing *I* do is inherently Bad For Women. Stop telling me it is. Cos, you know, I am a child, and that's just going to want to make me do it more.

    And OH MY GOD, please stop trying to tell me what to do with my body. It is mine. and if I want to use it to screw half the All Black back line, I will. (Well, I won't, but you understant my point.) And if I want to wear a dress that shows off my cleavage, it's not your problem. And it most certainly doesn't make me a Bad Feminist. And of course, it isn't just all about shoes, boobs, and lip gloss. But those things are important to me, and I won't apologise for that.

    I had a conversation recently with a relative for whom I have enormous respect. A woman who has fought all her life for the right to work outside the home, to not have to shave her legs. She's like the poster child for the "second wave". And she is appalled by my lipstick wearing, cleavage-showing, be-high-heeled, sex-positive, 'drink with the lads', feel completely free to criticise Sarah Palin version of the dogma she holds so dear. She honestly believes my generation is selling out what she fought so hard for.

    Talking to her is harder than talking to a confirmed misogynist. Because I can't just dismiss what she's saying. And I don't know how to resolve that.

    Except, as Danielle said, they can prize my beautiful shoes off my cold dead feet.

    i.e. all mouth and no trousers, then the more interesting question for me is, why was it so compulsively, reflexively retweeted? To get all jargony, what the hell cultural identity was being interpellated in that frenzied moment, both en masse and at the individual level?

    Well, it was, for the most part, quite funny. Scathing and bitchy. It just didn't really stand up to more than one reading. And I read it a lot.

    (Sorry for taking it to the gutter. Lindy West started it.)

    Don't panic, I am here now. We can keep it in the gutter for ages.

    On paper, yes, it's totally patronising, and I was bracing myself to be offended. But in the theatre full of women where I saw the movie, this wasn't received as a kiss-off, so much as a saluary toast, and it was greeted with a palpable warmth and a scattered chorus of "Yes!' and "Amen!" and "Thank you!" And even I felt strangely affirmed.

    Yeah, I am not a mother, so I am perfectly comfortable being corrected on that front. It felt off to me, but if it worked for other people, then awesome.

    I danced around the house singing it the last time it was on Radio NZ. Does this mean I'm gay?

    No. But it is an image that is going to stick in my head for quite some time.

    (And now I've done a Deborah and written a novel, I will actually do some work)

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report

  • Speaker: KICK IT! We won 1-1!,

    Weird, that's not what it makes me feel like at all.

    Yeah, me neither. That's odd, isn't it?

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report

  • Field Theory: The other game,

    I'm hoping to work 'grog-slut' into September's.

    Plleeeeeease do this.

    I do like the way she'll fly to Auckland for a rugby test and spend two hours before kick-off shopping for shoes in Newmarket.

    I once sat in the media box at the Stadium filing my nails. Never have I felt like quite such a _girl_.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report

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