Posts by bronwyn

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  • Up Front: Does My Mortgage Look Like a…,

    Angus, in reply to your

    My position is that a person can be harassed in 2 ways:
    - because they are subject to protracted and unwanted demand from one person or group acting in concert, like you have been.
    - because they are subject to protracted and unwanted demand by several people or groups acting independently, even though the harassing parties have no intention to harass.

    What would you classify the following, which happened to me about two hours ago, as?

    I am walking back to work. Quietly, keeping to myself as people do when they are walking round town of an afternoon. Two men pass me in the street. I have never seen them before. They start saying "Hey mamma, wanna ride on me etc." complete with hand gestures. This is not protracted. It is definitely unwanted.

    (I told them, not especially politely and with my own hand gestures, to fuck off).

    tamaki makaurau • Since Nov 2006 • 86 posts Report

  • Random Play: Let me take you down . . .,

    Great sugguestion Graeme re. cultural tourism.

    We've just returned from a trip to Porto, and spent a good 4 hours or so at the Casa de Musica (designed by the Dutch architect Rem Kolhaas) there, without even seeing a concert (which we also would have done if we hadn't had a previous engagement with a restaurant) - went on a tour with a genuinely engaged guide, hung about and listened to sound sculptures, bought some token items from the unobtrusive gift shop etc. etc. It was all tremendous, and that one visit made me think very kindly of Porto as a whole, and want to return.

    I do think that's interesting that people are far more likely to visit galleries, museums etc. when they are on holiday then when they are at home - this is totally based on anecdotal evidence though!

    tamaki makaurau • Since Nov 2006 • 86 posts Report

  • Up Front: Does My Mortgage Look Like a…,

    There is some responsibility on us all to minimise our likelihoods of becoming a victim.

    Stewart, I know what you are saying, but all too often (to me, at least) it feels like that all the responsibility is on "us" and none on the people that are making other people feel unsafe - when was the last time you saw an ad that said "Hey! don't go out and get drunk because it might make you more liable to turn into a nong and not take no for an answer"?

    tamaki makaurau • Since Nov 2006 • 86 posts Report

  • Up Front: Does My Mortgage Look Like a…,

    Therefore, it should be perfectly acceptable to assume that the clothes you wear clubbing also make a statement about your intentions.

    Jason, the issue is that one person doesn't know another person's intentions. I might have had a rubbish day, so might decide to go out and have fun, get dressed in a way that makes me feel attractive or even (shock horror!) in a way that I hope will get me noticed,because that might make me feel better. That doesn't mean my intention is to go out and hook up with someone. It also doesn't mean that I want to be harassed, which is very different. And when does it become a harassment? Pretty much as soon as the polite "no thank you" is ignored.

    I'm sure I'm not the only person here who's had to hide in a nightclub toilet to avoid someone who is being overly persistent.

    tamaki makaurau • Since Nov 2006 • 86 posts Report

  • Up Front: Does My Mortgage Look Like a…,

    There is no amount of flesh I can expose on a night out which makes me fair game – sorry, the author of my own difficulties.

    It's remarkable that a presumably experienced journalist who has also presumably done research and thought deeply about what they are writing about can't come to the same conclusion.

    Perhaps she could come and sit in one of the classes I teach where we discuss the old "she was asking for it because of what she was wearing" problem. I'm sure you won't be surprised that about 60% of the 14 year olds we talk to don't believe that, another 25% come around pretty quickly once we pull the issue apart (basically: what you said Emma, plus a bit more e.g: do people who live in countries where they are covered from head to foot still get sexually harassed/abused? yes? people in trackies and their oldest t-shirts the same? yes? hmmm...). The other 15% hopefully will come round in time. Or maybe they'll grow up to the write for The Listener.

    tamaki makaurau • Since Nov 2006 • 86 posts Report

  • Southerly: I Was Dissed By Three Old Ladies,

    Nah... if there were more unflappable octogenarian transgendered pot-smoking landladies out there, the world would be a much more agreeable place. :)

    Speaking of which, and getting horribly off-topic (sorry!), I just purchased Michael Tolliver Lives, the 20-years later update to the original Tales books. About half way through, and not sure how I feel about it just yet - seems to be missing a lot of the humour of the earlier ones.

    Although there are double the number of transgendered characters in this one (so, yes, there's two), and it's not often you read mainstream books where trans people are allowed to be anything more than stereotypes, so that's not a bad thing.

    tamaki makaurau • Since Nov 2006 • 86 posts Report

  • Speaker: KidsCan comes back,

    Steve - I didn't mean to imply that KidsCan were applying for funds for programmes and then were using it for salaries and running costs - I merely meant that as it is so difficult to obtain funding for these, they must have been pretty good at convincing funders to do exactly that.

    tamaki makaurau • Since Nov 2006 • 86 posts Report

  • Southerly: I Was Dissed By Three Old Ladies,

    I frequently have bouts of litter-bug induced rage, but one of the best times was when I was sitting on the steps around the corner from Happy in Wellington (it's a venue, not just a pen-name), when a taxi stopped at the lights. The passenger's window was wound down, and a McDonald's bag casually dropped out. I ran on to the road, screaming "That's not being a fucking tidy kiwi!" picked it up, and gave it back to the passenger.

    Which would all would have been alarming enough, but as it happened, I was attending the first Wellington Zombie Prom, and I don't want to blow my own trumpet or anything, but had just been declared prom queen, so I was officially looking very undead.

    I like to think that person never littered again, for fear of an avenging zombie coming out of the darkness to attack them.

    tamaki makaurau • Since Nov 2006 • 86 posts Report

  • Speaker: KidsCan comes back,

    If I'm reading this correctly you have donors who have given $770k to the charity and specifically said "but don't spend it on the kids"

    Not quite - more like "please spend this on making sure you have suitably experienced and professional to run these programmes that are paid at a suitable level so they don't leave after two months because they could get paid more working at a supermarket".

    Thankfully most funders are realising that it's better for them to fund salaries at a reasonable level to attract people who will stay and do a decent job, rather than half fund something and get a shoddy job. Ironically, it's actually much harder to secure funding for staff costs than programme delivery, so irregardless of anything else, it does suggest to me that whoever was dong the fundraising at KidsCan was pretty amazingly good at talking a good game to funders.

    (On a more personal note, it is somewhat daunting to ask whether my contribution will so improve systems that my new organisation could bring in 10 times my salary in donations.)

    Good luck - it's possibly not as daunting as it may seem right now!

    tamaki makaurau • Since Nov 2006 • 86 posts Report

  • Hard News: Where your money goes,

    Hi Rick,

    as others have said, thanks for giving us the opportunity to ask you questions directly.

    I'm interested in what the long term aims are for KidsCan are. What, if any, strategies, do you have in place for moving from a position where you are simply providing a very short term (albeit possibly very necessary and immediate) solution to what are some of the symptoms of poverty to providing longer term solutions to the underlying causes?

    Do you have any plans to work with corporate partners that work from a more sustainable basis, for example, providing fresh food rather than processed food, shoes that are manufactured in NZ etc. etc.?

    tamaki makaurau • Since Nov 2006 • 86 posts Report

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