Posts by Lucy Stewart
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Ben, I'm very sorry about what happened to you and your partner. Truly.
On a thirty-second tone reconsider: yeah, I second that, and your experience is important to know about. Sharing that isn't, and would never have been, what the debate was about here.
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Or it might actually be as Peter described it ...
Quite possibly, though the truth probably lies somewhere in between. I've already thought about the fact that if I have kids, I'm quite likely going to be juggling my post-doc and babies. But being told cautionary tales about the ticking biological clocks of other PhD students and post-docs...I know about that possibility, thanks awfully.
What I'd like to know is about the ones who are having babies and how they're managing that and what the lab's doing to accomodate it. Who are not the married men Peter referred to, because we all know how men balance work and babies, because that's apparently a God-given right if you've got a penis.
it frankly fucks me right off that I'm unable to have a grown-up conversation about it around certain groups of people without pussy-footing around the whole career/carer debate.
It fucks me right off that I'm unable to go through my life, let alone actually reproduce, without having the career/carer debate.
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Fact is, having a baby later (for both sexes) increases issues. Are we allowed to discuss this or is it banned?
Unless you're discussing it in a constructive way to do with the choices imposed upon women vis a vis childbearing and careers and/or you're discussing it with someone you're procreating with...well, let's just say it's very difficult to not sound like you're offering unwanted instruction, mmm? Especially when dictating the basic facts of the situation.
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I'm sure it's not the same, but it's real and I feel it.
Unless you have total strangers on blog comment threads positing that it's "just biology" that we need to remember about our rapidly-drying wombs, then I would suggest it's not the same. But, hey, we were having a slow start on the bingo cards there.
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Oh for FUCK'S SAKE. Key has just appointed Nigel Latta to the group reviewing the child discipline law.
Lawlz. I should be outraged at the triumph of media over substance, but I don't have the energy.
(At least he seems in favour of non-smacking forms of discipline? And thinks solo mums are perfectly competent parents? He's...not Larry Baldock?)
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There are no X & Y women, they're X X.
The XY ones are unlikely to be popping out babies (until medical science improves, anyhow), but they're hardly non-existant, c.f. the last MP for Wairarapa.
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Where are our selfless maternal instincts, I ask you?
I misplaced mine somewhere while dreaming of the all-partying, all-the-time PhD student lifestyle in exciting foreign places. Has anyone seen them?
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This is an area where there is room for a bit of gender bias i think - men don't have to give birth.
And you know what's awesome about that? They don't get to dictate when women give birth, either. What they *do* have to do is be involved in their kids' lives, just like women, meaning there is in fact very little room for gender bias here.
I recently became a Dad in my thirties - thank goodness. Procreating in your early forties feels a bit old....My partner had a baby boy two days before my 40th - so I was 39 years and 363 days old at the time. Phew! That was a close shave...
Hair-splitting for the win.
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I am particularly annoyed that I inadvertently followed his advice by getting married at 27. But I did everything else totally wrong! Yay!
I second this. But at least I've still got two months to continue putting out without a ring on my finger, thus ruining my future wedded bliss.
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A Chocolate Brickley Paiste... Monty Python sketches were born from such thoughts.
And extremely bad Lynx ads.