Posts by David Haywood
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Thanks to everyone who has sent me kind emails about the book.
I felt that the information contained in one particular email (from a reader in Australia) deserved wider publicity. I quote without further comment:
I like your book! I wasn't sure whether to believe all stories in there as being true and autobiographical though (like your supposedly first stabbing), so I asked my (German) husband whether he knew the word 'sitzpinkeln'. "Oh jah!", he said, "Stehpisser raus!" (this was on a sign in a feminists' house that he once visited)
Then I recalled a story that he has told me many a time about his friend who had recently got a piercing through his dickhead. He apparently was a Stehpisser, because, as I have been told many times, he was surprised that his urine now sprayed in all directions. So then he was forced to become a Sitzpinkler.
Useful German vocabulary for this post:
sitzpinkeln = sitting to urinate
"Stehpisser raus!" = "Persons who stand to urinate, stay out!"
Stehpisser = a person who stands to urinate
Sitzpinkler = a person who sits to urinate -
Incidentally, do the media in New Zealand care about the world plunging into recession (maybe even depression)? It's on the front page of the Guardian and NYT nearly every day, but when I check the Herald and Stuff websites it barely gets a mention. They're all just rugby and crime. Is New Zealand TV and radio giving the topic some air-time that I can't detect from here?
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Emma Hart wrote:
Tell me Opera Lady was at least a coloratura.
Just an ordinary soprano -- but very good, I thought. She may, on reflection, have been warming up for a performance rather than practising.
Jolisa Gracewood wrote:
... although I never did get to have breakfast at Tiffany's.
Heh -- that's what was missing from the photographs you sent. One of those really long cigarette holders. Oh, and maybe the diamond tiara thinggummyjigger.
Jackie Clark wrote:
One of the things I most enjoy about your writing, David, is how evocatively you do so.
Thanks, Jackie, we try our best...
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I suspect you read it here! (See last three paragraphs of post.)
Note that I modified the quotation from "hot" to "cute" in an effort to make it less disturbing.
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RE: the New Deal and WWII
Funnily enough, this is also the bit of Reaganomics that never seems to be mentioned...
The massive post-70s-recession spending on the cold war, i.e. a gargantuan Keynesian knees-up for those in uniform. I seem to recall that it was second only to WWII as a US government borrow-and-hope programme.
By the way, this observation (c) Carl Crowley 1988 -- not my own...
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Elizabeth wrote:
And can someone please explain to me why Rodney Hide is orange???
An excellent question. I also find myself quite hypnotized by Rodney's new complexion.
My personal theory is that he's trying to cash in on the 'Obama effect' as identified by Silvio Berlusconi: "... young, handsome and even tanned..."
Obviously the tan is the most easily-achievable Obama ingredient as far as Rodney is concerned.
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Jason Kemp and Islander:
Thank you both for your very kind words on the book.
Jason:
Cuba will be delighted to hear that your favourite piece is the one about her. She is a keen writer herself, and has plans to follow in her scribbling uncle's footsteps (although hopefully not in the financial sense).
I hope your press-ganged seven-year-old audience isn't too traumatized by the school essays...
Islander:
May I commend you on your insightfulness in terms of Bob's beautiful eyes. I shall write to Miss/Mr Universe recommending that you urgently be given a place on the judges' panel.Actually, the cover image was originally going to be a photograph of me as a baby -- but.. ahem... it was a little difficult to find something suitably photogenic. You'll note that the image of Bob is aged in a feeble attempt to fool readers into thinking it's really an old photo of me.
We're currently in rain-swept child-hating England where we have, in fact, been eating gruel for breakfast. Or, at least, porridge -- which I understand is more-or-less the same thing. I hope this makes Sacha happy.
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Paul Litterick wrote:
In the dog-eat-dog world of the modern zoo, it is only the cutest that survive.
That's a good point, Paul. As I understand it, under ACT's proposed plan, the dog-eat-dog system will actually be official zoo policy. I quote from their election manifesto:
As part of our "Tomorrow's Zoos" policy, new revenue streams will be facilitated via the implementation of a scheme whereby financially unappealing dogs such as Yorkshire terriers are fed to economically-successful dogs such as rottweilers and Alaskan malamutes.
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With the extra few cents we're going to buy some rags to wrap around our feet -- so that we can go into the woods to collect roots and berries for Christmas dinner.
I've never really known what they meant by roots (tubers, I expect), but I suppose I'll find out...
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Very glad the book has arrived, Sam. I haven't actually laid eyes on a physical copy myself -- so you're enjoying the beauty (or otherwise) of the book before the author does...
Cheers,
David