Posts by Emma Hart
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Up Front: Respectably-Dressed Sensible…, in reply to BenWilson,
Ben, I'm borderline on deleting your comment. If anyone wants me to, I will. That's not even close to true. It's much rarer, but it does happen, and it is rape. And that's not the worst thing that could happen. The worst thing that could happen is that he would be deeply traumatised for a long time, just like any other sexual assault victim.
You also appear to be assuming that "erection=consent". Not true. Only consent is consent.
[After getting a second opinion, I've disemvowelled Ben's comment as triggering. I understand how it was meant, but I don't feel good about leaving it there intact knowing the distress it could cause.]
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Up Front: Respectably-Dressed Sensible…, in reply to giovanni tiso,
My impression is that people are being convinced. At least I know I was.
One thing I've noticed this time is a decided sideways shift from victim-blaming on the basis of clothes to victim-blaming on the basis of having had some drinks. I dunno if you'd call that progress or not.
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Up Front: Respectably-Dressed Sensible…, in reply to recordari,
Certainly don't want to do that. For me it's about framing the argument, and the introduction and early posts have done that well.
Anyway, I'm sure it's not the PAS Massive's destiny to be preaching to the converted.
Yeah, I've tried quite hard to frame the argument in order to avoid this kind of shit. (As always, the comments, not the column.) You may be able to spot the point at which I got so upset I had to leave the thread. And it's not like I was being obviously reckless and visiting Kiwiblog or Danyl's site.
And I don't want to say, "You can't come here and say that." What I am trying to say is, you know what? We've had that conversation. If you want to have that conversation, there's every other fucking Slutwalk thread ever. Go to. Could we have a different conversation? About the times you were maybe in a bar and you saw something and thought, That doesn't look good, I wonder if I should do something? About the people you work with that you KNOW have a history of getting overly sleazy with women who are NOT happy about it?
I mean, okay, many years ago, I was at a party. A KAOS party, so a fair amount of consensual-sexual licence. I saw someone who I was pretty sure was not happy with what was happening to them. And I did absolutely nothing.
Partly, it was because I didn't want to embarrass myself. But also, it was because it was a guy, being set upon by three women. Even though he looked distressed, it was THAT difficult for me to read that situation as sexual harassment, because of the location of the penis.
What I'm saying is, you know, there are almost always bystanders. Lots of us know people whose behaviour around (usually) women makes us uncomfortable. Why, so much of the time, do we just do nothing?
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Up Front: Respectably-Dressed Sensible…, in reply to Deborah,
Slutwalks and the future of feminism, by Jessica Valenti.
Makes some very good points, not least that SlutWalk is another protest movement proving Malcolm Gladwell wrong about digital activism. There were ten people in that initial audience. The internet let them mobilise thousands. That's how this movement spreads from country to country, and it's only the real-world logistics of getting permitting and organising march routes etc that mean it hasn't happened faster.
It's particularly poignant to me, because I have a very dear Sister in Sluttitude who lives in Toronto. This is something she and I can do "together", even though we've never met.
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Up Front: Respectably-Dressed Sensible…, in reply to Deb Mudie,
Oh, you're not kidding. The more I think about this, the more I want to go in something like this. (Also, incidentally, I would look really hot in that.)
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Up Front: Respectably-Dressed Sensible…, in reply to Megan Wegan,
Well yeah, I'll be dressed to attract maximum attention. So, in my red coat.
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Up Front: Respectably-Dressed Sensible…, in reply to Robyn Gallagher,
For those of us who aren't familiar with the concept of triggering, can you please give us a brief definition?
You know how sometimes before a news story, they say "And a warning, the following piece contains images that may disturb some people"? It's like that. It's like this:
Trigger warnings are customary in some feminist and other spaces. They are designed to prevent people who have an extremely strong and damaging emotional response (for example, post-traumatic flashbacks or urges to harm themselves) to certain subjects from encountering them unaware. Having these responses is called "being triggered".
And yes, you can never tell what's going to trigger someone, but there are some things - and rape is one of them - you can just about guarantee are going to trigger someone. The warning allows those people to make their own judgement about whether they want to proceed or not. Disemvowelling allows people to make a decision about whether they want to decipher the comment or not.
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Just a couple of warnings here. One, if you're someone who has real (and understandable) problems with the word "slut", that Brisbane video may be a difficult watch.
Two, there nearly wasn't a comment thread here. I'd like to see ONE discussion where people talk about what they - and everyone else - can do about rape prevention. One conversation that focusses on perpetrators (not inhuman ravening beasts hiding in dark alleys) and by-standers. If I consider your comment triggering, I will disemvowel it. It'll still be decipherable, with effort, but no-one will have to read it if they don't want to. And yes, I do get to decide what's triggering, thanks.
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Field Theory: Gruts, in reply to Tom Semmens,
Otherwise, it is totally gay talk.
Tom, I'm just going to assume you've never had a conversation with a Gay-er.
Also, knit boxers on men? Lovely. Wait, does that make me gay?
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Hard News: We are all Twitter, in reply to Idiot Savant,
Basically, they're just going to have to turn a blind eye, unless political parties organise it
I suspect it's the nature of Twitter that organising masses of identical tweets in support of your party flooding Twitter on election day might be... a tad counter-productive.