Posts by Emma Hart
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Hmm, I loved the piece Emma, but I guess as a gay man, I see it all a little differently ;-)
The deference to the opinions of women here is a little disconcerting for me, because I do consider gay men to be in the best position to judge. So to speak.
(Anecdotal discussion, however, suggests that women prefer whatever they've had more experience with.)
I had a conversation with a Canadian friend of mine recently, because her new lover (that's how she refers to him since my last column) is uncircumcised and this is the first time she's run across this. And she wanted to know what, if anything, she should do differently. I'm thinking that pleasure is far more likely to be a consideration than aesthetics.
I also... honestly can't answer Fletcher's questions, any more than I could answer the equivalent questions about breasts. See the duologue: it's not that I couldn't come up with a list of things that might be good aesthetic critieria, it's that I simply have to be honest about not really consciously noticing or thinking about it.
And I pretty much always consider my views in these areas to not be representative of your average straight woman. For obvious reasons.
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You just have to be careful about pulling on it to hard.
But you also need it to stay on, which is the hard part, except for the "I need an extra hand, can you just put your finger on here" bit. So you do need to be quite... firm. Also, a velvet ribbon rather than a satin, for extra grip.
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like I should be wrapping a ribbon round it.
NOT an easy task. With either a ribbon or a bow tie.
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Yet it is my impression that women do have a concept of what constitutes a "good" (or even "great") cock, which seems to be as much aesthetic as it about dimension. Would that be true?
My thought process in response to this question was well bizarre, and I think telling. It was also a duologue, which is not unusual for me.
"Okay, well, that sounds reasonable, we must. Probably sort of clean, neat and tidy, symmetrical, middling size..."
"Alright then, who had the most aesthetically pleasing cock?"
"Um... Mike. It was Mike, right?"
"Are you just saying that because he had the most conventionally-male-attractive body?"
"Um... no?"
"So what was his penis like?"
*long pause* "Did you notice how he had really heavy brows that almost joined together? And just the right amount of muscle definition, so it was cut but not puke-makingly gross? And obviously we've talked about that arse before."
"You don't remember, do you? Go on, what was it like?"
"Fit for purpose?"
"Fair point."
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Actually, going back to the woman in that Jezebel article, can I just say, please don't judge women by her? I honestly find just considering what she did (albeit never intending the audience) really distressing.
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We don't?
She rated their sexual performance. She didn't just get out a measuring tape. And I'm pretty sure that was never intended to be taken seriously by anyone. (Also, this is yet another case of me being utterly confused as to why a particular thing has garnered so much attention. If her presentation had been well-written and amusing? Sure. But it wasn't.)
Something can be not positive or affirming without being an insult in itself.
Yes. That was kind of what I meant but didn't say. It is WAY too early in the morning for me, obviously.
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I've found no correlation between penis size and being a skilled, attentive shagger
Wordy McFucking Word.
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If you ask women, who have laid hands on many more penises than I, you get results that fluctuate depending on how they want to make you feel.
I think the biggest problem (hurhur) is actually that most of the time we're not paying a great deal of attention. We will notice, as Megan implied, if the member in question is right down one end or the other of the bell curve, but the 95% in between? We're just not concentrating that hard, and nor should we be able to, frankly.
Many, sure, but not even "nearly all"...
You're right. I'd forgotten about 'todger', it's a wonderful word. I have my doubts about 'manhood', though. Not just because of the context you most often see it in (alright, I most often see it in), but also because it suggests (or indeed outright states) that your penis is the sum of your man-ness.
Not in an x was bigger than y way
Yeah, that was what I meant by 'comparative'. It's not like we never talk about penises. But we don't make ranked lists or anything.
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That's why the kids love these words. They sound great, the mouthfeel....but not being gay I have no idea how much that would fuck a gay person off just hearing that word used negatively in the street.
In its pejorative sense, gay is the only word banned in my house. That's the only time I'll have a polite word with one of my son's friends about what comes out of their mouths when they're playing LAN combat games. "Would you call your troops niggers? Then don't call them gay. Same principle."
Lately I've been reading a lot of vintage detective fiction - Ngaio Marsh, Gladys Mitchell, etc. I love the language, but it can be jolly confusing occasionally when words have changed meaning. I did finally work out that the wife who had "turned gay" had taken a male lover...
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Also, I'm on nodding terms with Dion Nash, so, nah.
Hey, Megan, d'you wanna tell that story... no, you probably don't, do you?