Posts by Emma Hart
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You mean we could just put Timaru in brackets after a sentence to indicate sarcasm? It has potential. As in, "That transmission gully is a grand idea (Timaru)."
What a great idea.
Yeah, we're going to need a sincerity mark.
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I'd suggest Timaru
Dude, stop drinking the water, right now. (Srsly, it tastes appalling.)
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Oh PS, Nat said it was okay to tell "the slipper story". That's how I remember the conversation going, anyway.
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Belatedly (it's a busy morning, and I have to spend the afternoon at my daughter's final assembly watching her not receive a richly deserved award for Best Bollocking Handed Out to a Teacher) I should also mention the handful of brave, depraved individuals who sent me tales by email.
Also, no matter the amount or nature of bodily excretions or bizarre exertions, I kept finding myself thinking, "Aw, that's really sweet."
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Okay. Award Announcement. This was a lot of fun, and I'm very impressed by how many of you managed to pick up the Bonus Geek points.
My final three were Tom, Jack and Giovanni. Making the final pick was tricky. With the assistance of alcohol, however, what put the winner over the line was, " I am very, very sorry about your petunias."
Jack, drop me an email and tell me what you want me to do with your book.
Dishonourable mentions go to Hilary for 'organic garden', and Tracy for being conceived in a brothel. Champion.
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If that qualifies as snark, then I think we're setting the bar a little low.
I'm looking at in the context of a couple of other threads here lately, how high the base aggravation level has been, and thinking that this might be a good time to just let one go. There is a constructive discussion going on here, but it's not the one you guys are having.
I'm not demanding anything (except that you never call me 'miss' again, just suggesting that you think about it.
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Alternatively, you could just hide behind a wall of snark like you *always* do at this point of a conversation.
You guys know I love you all, right? So my fairly neutral reading is that Gio and Sacha and Craig could all do with hopping off the Snark Pony on this one, okay? Because it's getting pretty tiresome.
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Okay, I have a short list: if anybody wants to embarrass Tom or Jo, now's the time.
Oh, and Emma ,i think Hilary beats you there. You'll have to come up with another one. I'm sure you can find one.It is afterall your blog. :)
Tch, it's not a competition, Sofie... oh, no, wait, it is. It's just so hard to come up with stories that won't embarrass/annoy other people, which is why I love the Alex story so much.
But. In my first year, I went to a toga party. At this party, my boyfriend (seated) did... something. I can't remember what, but it was obviously dreadful, because I got really angry and decided that the best way to punish him was to get really drunk and sleazy. Not something I did by halves when I was eighteen.
This night is, I think, the origin of the Legend of the Diced Carrot Man. He goes around waiting for people to vomit, and then tosses in Diced Carrots. Nobody eats diced carrots, after all, so how else would they get there?
Anyway, in the morning I woke up in my halls room with no memory of how I got home. Not too surprising until you consider that I would have needed the swipe card for the front door and the key to my halls room. Neither of which I had, because I was still just wearing the sheet.
And then I had to get up, go back to the party venue, and squirmingly ask if I could please have all my clothes back.
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Any suggestions for action gratefully received. I can't believe I'm the only parent who's unhappy about this, but noone seems to be talking about it?
Well, given parents are the ones who are supposed to want National STandards and whatever we're calling not-league-tables now, I think a hearty public display of fucked-off parent-hood would be well useful.
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Regarding the situation Russell's and your reactions were good.
Thanks Ben.
If only we were all perfectly non-reactive..
Nothing is the hardest thing to say. I had to delete a teeth-kicking arse-handing the other day because Russell had already deleted the post I was replying to while I was typing.
Okay, I'm going to bed. Yous all be good, now.