Posts by Emma Hart
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And Emma I've seen you and seriously if you don't stop deriding your figure I will have to give you a good talking to ... including finger waving!
Let me be more explicit. (Ha, try and stop me, etc.) I do have a lovely figure, IMO. Other people are free to not find it so, that's fine. But it's along curvy lines, and requires a waist. In loose drapey things I tend to look like a horse. I look better in clingy things, shaped, well-cut... the kind of thing some people might find 'slaggy'. Right now I'm fine with that, but I can see it becoming problematic as I get older.
Also, this seems a good place and time to say, possibly upcoming, the Tits Out For Ourselves website. Stay tuned.
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"how many people do you want to see you this way"
Facebook was not around when I was in my twenties. Just sayin'.
Shorts are the big problem for us old men. We look ridiculous in them. Short ones (blurgh) and longer boardie or cargo styles, all bad. But in a Nelson summer, going the full trouser route 100% of the time is just not an option.
Let me bring the poem this time:
I grow old . . . I grow old . . .
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach. -
Warning - Jenny Joseph
I nearly called this Wearing Purple. My mother loved that poem.
But I admit took out my earrings recently because... well,, it just wasn't working any more. :)
I'm pretty sure there's a school of thought which suggests I'm too old to be getting tattoos, but I have the next three planned, so that won't be happening any time soon.
Also, co-incidentally Ngaire Bookiemonster just tweeted a guide to this situation for me. Forty. Outcast. Got it.
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Can't we just go to the cricket and talk about field placements?
Um, yeah, what would you like to discuss?
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Speaker: Medical Journal, Chapter V, in reply to Russell Brown,
Yeah, frankly, the internet has enough of men and women not talking with each other, we can do without segregated discussions.
Are there any good willy jokes?
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What if one of your children die?
This was a shit of question, yeah. We were sitting there in the counselling session with our three month old daughter in the Plunket car seat next to us, and they were like, "Well, what if she dies, hmm? Have you thought about that?" And I know what they were trying to do, but it was like getting a kitten after your cat dies.
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Sheer bang-for-buck practicality.
My partner's was paid for by the State, through Family Planning, because we were on a benefit at the time. The grant is, co-incidentally, exactly the same amount of money as the cost of a vasectomy.
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In Wellington they do the vasectomies on Friday afternoon so the poor men have the weekend to recover. I hear that sometimes their wives ask for it to be done without anaesthetic.
Otherwise unimpressed. Try pregnancy, childbirth, miscarriage, D and C, cone biopsies, smear tests etc etc.
You know, I actually quite like my partner, and have no wish at all for him to suffer unnecessarily, or to play Pain One-Up-Manship with him. I wish his vasectomy had gone this easily, but even so it wasn't that big a deal. Just a small moment of freaking out when the doctor (a woman, as was our GP and the assisting nurse) started swearing and said she'd never done one this difficult, and a couple of days being intimate with a bag of frozen peas.
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Outside of American Gods, I can't think of another pop culture appearance of the Norse pantheon off the top of my head.
To complete the Holy Trinity of British Humourous Fantasy writers, Douglas Adams' The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul features a Thor with considerable problems.
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Up Front: Giving Me Grief, in reply to Islander,
Goodness, islander, I am deeply humbled. Or the exact opposite of that. Alchemy is a lovely thought.
We are now at the lesser-discussed stage of grief known as Bureaucracy. I have a stack of will-related forms to fill in. I'm going back down to Mum's this weekend to help clear out the house, getting it ready for market. The boys (my brothers are always the 'the boys', and will be til they die) have done a wonderful job but they won't deal with any of her personal stuff. That's vagina-bearer-business, that is.
I'm not entirely sure I'll cope with going back.