Up Front by Emma Hart

Read Post

Up Front: The British Are Coming

136 Responses

First ←Older Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 Newer→ Last

  • Craig Ranapia,

    Oh hey. I just made an appointment for my daughter to start getting her gardasil vaccinations today, and that made me remember the last time I took her up there for a shot, when the nurse TRIED to give her a needle phobia. She was nearly hysterical trying to stop Rhiana from watching the needle go in even though I was right there saying 'you can look if you want'. I know my kid. She's the one on Disposing of Dead Things duty for our family.

    Heh... and surely the child-related petty neurosis is something you don't need to outsource? :) Hell, one thing I love about kids is the streak of fearless ghoulishness most of them, sadly, lose as they get older. "Needles? Kewl!"

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • 3410,

    She's the one on Disposing of Dead Things duty for our family.

    Very gracious of you.

    Auckland • Since Jan 2007 • 2618 posts Report Reply

  • Andrew Stevenson,

    She's the one on Disposing of Dead Things duty for our family

    I've just been reading the history of the zombie war WWZ, kind of puts an odd persepective on comments like this

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 206 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    My daughter would totally rock the Zombie Apocalypse.

    Very gracious of you.

    Thank you. She thrives on responsibility and recognition of her strengths. She also once brought me the dessicated gutless corpse of a guinea pig for inspection, which was somewhat startling.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    Bunch of tattoos and yet I still can't get over the needles for giving blood. Can't they just scrape it off my arm when I'm getting my new tat and screen out the ink?

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen,

    I always find a spot on the ceiling and concentrate really hard on it.

    Same here. Discovered my aversion to blood during a 4th form first aid film (yes film not video), apparently the pretty yellow stars were not part of the film.

    I like it when there is enough dirt of the ceiling for me to focus on something. I also once had a dentist who had a really nice photo of Auckland Harbour on his ceiling.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 4460 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    I've just been reading the history of the zombie war WWZ, kind of puts an odd persepective on comments like this

    Ah, squee! I'm surprised Max Brooks and his father weren't the first out of the gate with a black (and bloody) comedy about the usual nubile suspects being chew toys for Nazi zombies.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    O rh d negative here which is, as the GP in the family said, "Ooo! Hot collector's item!"*

    Problem: I have veins that actively retreat from needles...it took a very experienced district nurse 4 goes to harpoon one-

    (*I've been looking warily over my shoulder ever since, for eager obstetricians creeping up.)

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    Needless to add, link to trailer is of marginal workplace safety -- unless you have headphones and great peripheral vision.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    Zombie nazis on snow! How do we get to see that here?

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • Andrew Stevenson,

    Needless to add, link to trailer is of marginal workplace safety -- unless you have headphones and great peripheral vision

    Squee!
    Did you spot the Braindead tee shirt?

    In the wikilink there is mention of a film version

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 206 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    Zombie nazis on snow! How do we get to see that here?

    Because Ant Timpson is a sick and twisted bastard (Lord love the sweet little pixie), its doing the Film Festival circuit but it looks like you'll have to do a road trip to Christchurch. Sorry.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • ChrisW,

    Mikaere, your story is beautiful.

    And thanks too for the link back to the 2005 one from Slack and you, on significant dates in NZ history and the unveiling by the Queen Mother of Inia Te Wiata's pouihi at New Zealand House, London.

    As a complimentary complement to that story on the other side of the world, may I nominate Tuesday 11 August 1914, when the Poverty Bay Herald included in its Editor's miscellany at this time six days after the outbreak of the First World War: "The usual meeting of the Gisborne Shakespeare Club will not be held on Wednesday evening, owing to the patriotic korero."

    Yeah, WW1 not WWZ, but seems to encapsulate rather nicely an earlier point in the cultural linkage of British settler-descendants and Maori. (From the latest update of the National Library's digitised newspapers searchable on-line, where the Povery Bay Herald is one of the better ones for later coverage up to 1920.)

    Gisborne • Since Apr 2009 • 851 posts Report Reply

  • Rich Lock,

    Ah, squee! I'm surprised Max Brooks and his father weren't the first out of the gate with a black (and bloody) comedy about the usual nubile suspects being chew toys for Nazi zombies.

    Zombie nazis on snow! How do we get to see that here?

    You fly up to Auckland for the film festival? :)

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2728 posts Report Reply

  • Hilary Stace,

    Bunch of tattoos and yet I still can't get over the needles for giving blood.

    Need to wait six months after tattoos for blood donation. Tatts much riskier.

    Wgtn • Since Jun 2008 • 3226 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    In the wikilink there is mention of a film version

    Indeed -- but I'll be damned if I can see a way its going to work as a conventional feature (and with a budget lower than the GDP for a medium-sized country) without carving out everything that's interesting about the book in the first place. But we live (and die) in hope.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • Andrew Stevenson,

    but I'll be damned if I can see a way its going to work as a conventional feature

    I've made it a policy never to go to the movie of a book I enjoyed, its just too depressing for words.
    I nominate Craig as Zombie-flick-Reviewer-in-Chief

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 206 posts Report Reply

  • Josh Addison,

    Dead Snow, like Jem and the Holograms, is truly, truly, truly outrageous. Even if it does suffer from Idiot Protagonist Syndrome a little too much (but hell, it's a comedy).

    One of these days I must acquire the audiobook of WWZ - Alan Alda, Jürgen Prochnow, Mark Hamill, HENRY ROLLINS among others - that would have to be worth a listen.

    Onehunga, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 298 posts Report Reply

  • Dinah Dunavan,

    I've pretty much conquered my fear of needles.
    Sticking needles into oneself and having twice daily blood tests for two weeks did it. Thank goodness I have veins that even the most incompetent vampire nurse can get blood out of. Admittedly after two weeks of a double daily hammering my veins were getting a wee bit tough.
    The nicest clinics have fun posters on the walls that one can focus on while the bottles are being changed.

    Dunedin • Since Jun 2008 • 186 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    Dead Snow, like Jem and the Holograms, is truly, truly, truly outrageous. Even if it does suffer from Idiot Protagonist Syndrome a little too much (but hell, it's a comedy).

    And where would the modern horror movie be without teenagers who get aroused by the most unfortunate things -- like dark corners and rampaging serial killers. :)

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Because Ant Timpson is a sick and twisted bastard

    However, having my finger on the sick and twisted pulse of PAS, it's the film I've asked to review for the festival.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Robert Harvey,

    One of the best songs ever by The Roches, 'My Winter Coat'.

    "The fit is generous and loose / The coat is filled with down of goose
    Should I feel guilty about that? / I wouldn’t wear the fur of a cat
    The coat is black so in New York city / It doesn’t look dirty it stays pretty
    The cuffs are purple which perfectly suits / A pair I already had of boots
    Can’t help sharing on a personal note / A secret I have concerning the coat
    One of the reasons that it got my vote / Is the way it lies open around the throat
    For me the collar mustn’t come too high / Because well all right my skin is dry
    So each morning I rub my face with oil / And the fabric you see the grease could soil
    Can we speak a moment about the lining / After my own heart’s designing
    It’s nylon so your skirts don’t wind / Up in a bunch around your behind
    When the time comes for the coat to clean / You throw this thing in the washing machine
    Drying you doubt but the filling does fluff / I’m here to proclaim this coat is enough
    The length of the coat is below the knees / So in the cold your legs don’t freeze
    I’m nuts about another one of it’s charms / There’s plenty of room underneath the arms
    The coat’s not bulky it weighs about an ounce / And it’s practically void of any frivolous flounce
    I will admit it has shoulder pads / All things considered it’s not so bad
    It looks all right even from the side / I guess because the bottom isn’t overly wide
    Okay so you say you’d prefer something hipper / But can I just tell you about the zipper
    I searched for it for many years / Last one I had I tore up in tears
    It turned me into jack the ripper / But now I stepped in cinderella’s slipper
    It runs from the gullet to just south of the crotch / And workin’ it’s a task you can hardly botch
    It’s made of a material that will not rust / It won’t get stuck you don’t get fussed
    It undoes easily in the usual way / But you can also pull it up if you’d like to, let’s say
    There’s snaps as well which I don’t even use / But they beat out buttons if I had to choose
    I remember the night I went to the store / Fighting my way across the cloak-stuffed floor
    Suffocating I was it seemed / When from a rack this last hope beamed
    Of all my requirements I pursued the trail / To find furthermore the damn thing was on sale
    It had a small chain at the back of the neck / So you could hang it on a hook but it broke what the heck
    With the end of each sleeve I’m totally smitten / Ample space for to emerge a thick mitten
    If you wanna be warm it wins far and away / It’s like walkin’ around in your bed all day
    I know you’re not supposed to be so fond of a thing / But today this is my heartfelt inspiration to sing
    I hope you don’t think I’m merely trying to be clever / I wish this coat would last forever."

    Westmere • Since Nov 2006 • 65 posts Report Reply

  • Andrew Stevenson,

    I nominate Emma as Zombie-flick-Reviewer-in-Chief

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 206 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    I nominate Emma as Zombie-flick-Reviewer-in-Chief

    Hoy! I've paid a non-refundable deposit on my new business cards, and the uniform! :)

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • Tess Rooney,

    If we want to get artistic about coats then I suggest people read Nikolai Gogol's short story "The Overcoat".

    Since May 2009 • 267 posts Report Reply

First ←Older Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 Newer→ Last

Post your response…

Please sign in using your Public Address credentials…

Login

You may also create an account or retrieve your password.