Island Life by David Slack

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Island Life: Rage against the machines

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  • Felix Marwick,

    one hyphenated word ...

    power-gel

    Oh, and an explosives license. Or failing that a friend on the West Coast.

    (nuff said)

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 200 posts Report Reply

  • hamishm,

    Burn them at the stake whilst cavorting around them, painted with woad.

    Since Nov 2006 • 357 posts Report Reply

  • Keith Ng,

    Think Empire Strikes Back.

    http://images.wikia.com/starwars/images/3/35/HanPopcicle.jpg

    Maybe a few disfiguring blows from a sledgehammer, then encased in carbonite (or whatever molten plastiky thing you have on hand)?

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 543 posts Report Reply

  • Shep Cheyenne,

    Firemen stoke the engine on trains

    Firefighters out out fires

    I used to flat with Ferrymead Rail enthusists.

    Since Oct 2007 • 927 posts Report Reply

  • Shep Cheyenne,

    out out hmm - hows about put out

    Since Oct 2007 • 927 posts Report Reply

  • Pete,

    If you are in Welly I could supervise your utilising my pump action 12 gauge to blow all 3 to smithereens.
    I'll happily throw in the 9 rounds of OO Buckshot or solid slug if you're feeling particularly vengeful.
    http://www.securityarms.com/20010315/galleryfiles/0100/144.htm
    It's even got a laser - but you'll have to find somewhere suitably rural as I'm in suburbia.
    Drop me a line if you are keen
    P

    Since Apr 2008 • 106 posts Report Reply

  • 81stcolumn,

    I'm quite fond of Nelson's penance - turn 'em into a bird table and see them cr***d on all day long. Better still set up a web came for all the other drives to see.......

    Nawthshaw • Since Nov 2006 • 790 posts Report Reply

  • Mark Graham,

    Okay, I can see my appeal to people's empathetic side failed miserably. Not that I'm sorry to have been ignored.

    Clearly, the truest method of revenge is one of eternal torture.

    Why bother with incineration...

    Some say the world will end in fire
    some say in ice...

    As with 81stcolumn's suggestion, but better than a bird bath, perhaps an art work in continual state of development. A mini-torture rack, hanging on a wall in your office, and each time frustration overload hits, pass it on through violent acts upon the hapless articles on your wall.

    In fact, you could wire up a speaker and recorded groans of anguish and pleadings for mercy that reverberate around the room each time you vent your anger.

    That sounds nice.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 217 posts Report Reply

  • Ben Austin,

    How about something that uses NZ's comparative advantage? Say tying the server to some sort of harness and attaching said harness to a dairy cow/horse/etc for a couple of days. You could then make some sort of witty caption about turning servers into plowshares

    London • Since Nov 2006 • 1027 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    I know a guy who makes trebuchets.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    I know a guy who makes trebuchets.

    Those are the coolest things. I want to make one for my backyard and use it to throw the ball for my dogs. For the dog's entertainment only, obviously.

    The fact that they might have to cross three neighbouring properties to retrieve their ball is just good exercise.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    Kyle... it can be so.

    http://www.catapultkits.com/

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report Reply

  • Don Christie,

    I organised a car crash. Didn't hurt too much and it helped that no-one was in the back seat.

    Thinking about it though, the hard disk was just about all that did survive. Could you try putting it in a vat of Coca Cola?

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1645 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    Oh no kitset, that's cheating.

    If you don't build it yourself, then it loses all its charm. And wildly dangerous inaccuracy.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    If you don't build it yourself, then it loses all its charm. And wildly dangerous inaccuracy.

    That must be a fundamental difference between us Kyle, that's what happens is I do build it myself.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report Reply

  • Damian Christie,

    I don't have a trebuchet, but if you want to give them even a vaguely sporting chance, I have a claybird thrower and a shotgun. They get one last burst of freedom, and you get them to blow them out of the sky like rats-with-wings.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1164 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    I don't have a trebuchet, but if you want to give them even a vaguely sporting chance, I have a claybird thrower and a shotgun. They get one last burst of freedom, and you get them to blow them out of the sky like rats-with-wings.

    Or if you shoot anything like me, one last burst of freedom, followed by landing on the ground and getting to go "haha, you missed me you useless shot! fucked ya again!"

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • Shep Cheyenne,

    Andrew any idea if your friend can build one that falls back into a recessed position for dogs to drop the ball in and set it off?

    Might need a co2 cylinder, collection pan & tube to deliver the ball into the launcher assembly.

    For the intellegent energetic dog and super lazy master.

    I couldn't think of a better use of a Firearms licence than making Fireworks.

    Since Oct 2007 • 927 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    Andrew any idea if your friend can build one that falls back into a recessed position for dogs to drop the ball in and set it off?

    You have a dog that brings things back? I've assumed the term "retriever" is ironic, for labradors anyway.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    I couldn't think of a better use of a Firearms licence than making Fireworks.

    One of my favourite off topics - I think that we should need explosives licenses to operate fireworks. But I also think they should be real explosives - not the wussy stuff they sell us now.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    You have a dog that brings things back? I've assumed the term "retriever" is ironic, for labradors anyway.

    My dogs play 'chase', followed by 'get distracted', followed by 'ignore owner' followed by 'watch owner retrieve ball'.

    Apparently it's a bunch of fun.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • David Hamilton,

    Check out this oddly well timed piece from wired: Rage Against The Machines (title clearly plagiarized).

    Hamiltron • Since Nov 2006 • 111 posts Report Reply

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