Island Life by David Slack

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Island Life: Off the top of my head.

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  • andrew llewellyn,

    they could do worse than consider putting some real spine and spirit and imagery in their language

    Some spleen perhaps?

    Most excellent growths there. Most, most excellent.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report Reply

  • David Slack,

    That's a great idea. In fact, you could make a blog with just that name! And make it about really interesting things to do with language. I would totally read that.

    Devonport • Since Nov 2006 • 599 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    Actually, further to that, I had a big(gish) cyst cut from the back of my leg some years ago - in such a position (much like your head perhaps - but a different position entirely (so as not to scare the horses with a terrible image)) that I was unable to see proceedings.

    The most fascinating thing was that I could feel every cut of the scalpel, and while it wasn't painful at all, the feeling was decidedly unnerving (more so than when my eyes were operated on under local some years later).

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    I would totally read that.

    That's a good idea too. Somebody should totally do it.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    Oh, and just to up the ick factor - how long before that big one stopped moving?

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report Reply

  • David Ritchie,

    I've had a recurrent cyst removed from my shoulder (twice) and it's never had quite that level of vividness -- it's always been a shade of murky grey. Kudos!

    Since Nov 2006 • 166 posts Report Reply

  • David Slack,

    how long before that big one stopped moving?

    It had plenty of wobble.

    The most fascinating thing was that I could feel every cut of the scalpel

    Same. He explained that nerves come in two sorts - tiny ones that rely the sense of pain, and big thick bunches that feel impact. The big ones keep transmitting under a local. I have a fair headache now, I have to say.

    Devonport • Since Nov 2006 • 599 posts Report Reply

  • Stephen Judd,

    I would totally read that.

    Really?

    A part time effort, anyway.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 3122 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    Why did you make me do that?

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report Reply

  • David Slack,

    Three warnings, my friend, three warnings.

    You still haven't got over that Listener photo, either, have you?

    Devonport • Since Nov 2006 • 599 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    Why did you make me do that?

    I think it really was a scallop. And the slightly chewed rubber from the end of a pencil.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Campbell,

    At least you got to see yours - I had one a few years back about the size of a $2 coin on the back of my neck - having it removed under a local was a most bizarre experience - I too felt every little piece, there was a lot of huffing and puffing, tearing and prodding - all behind me a tiny fraction of an inch from my spine .... and I never got to see what came out

    Cysts, it seems, grow their own layer of skin-like cells around them inside the cavity, apparently if they don't remove them all (all that tearing) they tend to come back .....

    I had mine removed when I lived in the US - when I first showed it to the doctor (worried about some cancerous growth on my spine) he tried to lance it but it had already turned rock hard ..... because of the wonders of the US health insurance system it took over a year to get it attended to ... even though I had excellent insurance removing it would be 'cosmetic surgery' (it was a fricking big lump the size of a half golfball on my neck) ... it took me a while and a couple of doctor's visits to cotten on that the doctor was subtly trying to coach me - "it was uncomfortable", "it was hard to sleep on my back", "it sometimes caused pain" .... once I managed to utter those magic words I was off to the surgeon to have it cut out (in a dingy doctors office, not the shiny white medical mecca I'd imagined)

    Dunedin • Since Nov 2006 • 2623 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    While I was reading this (I forced myself to do so AND click the picture link!) my scalp began aching.

    Similarly I was thinking about getting another tattoo and my current one began hurting. Stupid empathy.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    my scalp began aching.

    Can we get a hypnotist for this year's PA/Wgtista party? I suspect they could get you to do some really funny things...

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report Reply

  • Robyn Gallagher,

    I love these sorts of non-harmful koha that our bodies give to us from time to time. I consider these to be a bit of entertainment that our bodies thoughfully provide for our amusement and the amusement of others. Thanks for sharing, Mr Slack.

    Since Nov 2006 • 1946 posts Report Reply

  • David Slack,

    That's what I'm looking for in a dust-jacket comment. Never mind "that rare thing - a rural writer with an urban sensibility", I want plaudits that give people a jolt. Plaudits that make you say to yourself as you're standing in Dymocks with a copy in your hand: "I will buy this book. Now."

    Plaudits like:
    my scalp began aching

    and:
    My tattoo started to hurt

    Devonport • Since Nov 2006 • 599 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    YEah, but that's Hadyn's response to everything :)

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    If Labour are wondering how to compound their restoration in the polls, they could do worse than consider putting some real spine and spirit and imagery in their language. It would stand in the very sharpest contrast to Mr Beige of Success Court, Omaha.

    Well, as long as you're not this kind of idiot:

    According to his spokesman, U.S. Rep. Lynn Westmoreland, a Southerner born and bred, had no idea on earth that the word “uppity” had racial connotations when he used it to describe Barack and Michelle Obama.

    No idea at all. Could have knocked him over with a feather when someone told him. Really, who knew?

    In a 1992 Time essay, Michael Kinsley lethally described then-President George H. Bush as the kind of person who was nice enough not to want to be associated with a nasty remark, but wasn't nice enough not to make it. Kinsley closed with this stinger: "Lacking the courage of one's nastiness does not make you nice."

    And in the case of Westmoreland, trying to lie your way out of hole of your own making isn't attractive either.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    Or how about:

    My sebaceous cyst popped right out & lay quivering?

    Or maybe not.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Can we get a hypnotist for this year's PA/Wgtista party? I suspect they could get you to do some really funny things...

    I would so come up for that.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • dc_red,

    My favourite political rhetoric of recent years: Mark Latham's likening of Howard's government to "a conga line of suckholes."

    Oil Patch, Alberta • Since Nov 2006 • 706 posts Report Reply

  • Stephen Judd,

    What this post needs is a recipe.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 3122 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    For scallops?

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Williams,

    Mr Slack, there was no way I was going to look at your photos. None whatsoever. I'm too easily given squemishness; this includes not coping through an entire episode of CSI:wherever.

    On the issue of the vibrancy of writing however, I'm with you in thinking too much is too bland. It's, partly, why I spend so much time here where I can consume a high calorific diet with far fewer bites. Keating's an unfair example however; whereas Milne's writing is like a bludgeoning, Keating eviscerates his targets much as your surgeon did your "bumps".

    Here's a link to an old clip of Keating vs Howard (not link-whoring, can't access youtube from work). Howard's clearly just waiting for him to stop and I love the fact that he doesn't; doesn't let up for one second. Relentless and unforgiving.

    Sydney • Since Nov 2006 • 2273 posts Report Reply

  • David Slack,

    What this post needs is a recipe

    Ask Russell. Oh no, he's gone.

    Devonport • Since Nov 2006 • 599 posts Report Reply

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