Hard News by Russell Brown

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Hard News: This just in: Sky over Tasman Sea not falling

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  • Russell Brown,

    To be honest, I guess you've got a point

    And let it not be thought that I don't think you have a point too. But I'm quite enjoying having an argument.

    [Disappears back under gigantic mountain of work.]

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22843 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    I think I can top that, Richard - was at a stag party last year, where there was a stripper. Ended up getting in touch with my inner prude on the deck, where I shared a cig with her (extremely butch) minder and we marvelled at the mysterious creature that is the straight man. Just don't get the appeal of watching a complete stranger polish a pole with their arse cheeks.

    I've found strippers at parties plonking themselves in laps tacky and weird too. But I did once go to Mermaids on a stag night, and was actually surprised at how much I enjoyed it. I decided that the sexual titillation (men and women alike) was like a sort of safe social intoxicant.

    [No, really, going back to work.]

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22843 posts Report Reply

  • Michael Savidge,

    And in twelve months time we'll probably have Murray McCully representing our country

    Way to ruin my day...

    Somewhere near Wellington… • Since Nov 2006 • 324 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Williams,

    I'm very curious to know what Key's been so quick to tell his tale? I doubt he feels there's an advantage to it, rather I suspect he's had prior warning of some anonymous tip-off to the press.

    The only reason Rudd's little night out has made such a splash is because, as Russell has pointed out, both he and Howard are after the Christian vote. The rise of evangelical Christian groups is significant on both sides of the ditch - Hillsong was very popular last election - and Rudd's the first federal Labor leader for long time to have buckley's chance of challenging capital "C" Conservative Howard.

    Sydney • Since Nov 2006 • 2273 posts Report Reply

  • InternationalObserver,

    My first and only experience of lapdancing, (last century):

    She was much younger and more nubile than me. Even Craig would probably agree she was "hot". She invited me for a lap dance in 'a private room'. I felt it was a part of life's rich tapestry that I should experience, so I said yes. So we went to this private room and she grinded and writhed all over me. And she was hot alright, great body, great breasts, and very beautiful face. She was the type of package that really did make you wonder: what's a hot girl like you doing in a place like this?

    I was kinda aroused, but not as much as I thought I'd be at having a young woman's crotch millimetres from my face. (Oh the skill, she got so close yet never once touched). When she finished she leant in close and asked (in a whisper) if I'd like "something more?".

    I figured it was another part of life's rich tapestry that I should experience, so I said "yes" and asked her how much for a blow job? Her face fell, she looked like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth, and that I'd just shamed her and her whole village. For a moment I thought maybe I'd asked to dig up her dead grandmother's corpse and sodomise it.

    Turned out by 'something more' she meant me forking out another $40 for a lap dance. Puh-lease! The first 3 minutes were a novelty but the last 3 minutes got boring real fast.

    I haven't been back to Showgirls since. (But then, all my friends are married now anyway ...)

    Since Jun 2007 • 909 posts Report Reply

  • Alex Coleman,

    Way to ruin my day...

    Oh come on, it'll be a laugh.

    I'm actually kind of looking looking forward to the Nats being in power. The policy will be crap of course, but MMP means they won't be able to get away with much if they want to finish the term, let alone have a second one.

    At the very least it might stop them all being so bloody bitter all the time. Even the formerly affable Bill English spends most of his time these days sounding like he's got a P fuelled wasp under his tongue.

    And who knows, maybe it'll even shut the uppedness out of the more feverish members of the rightoshere on these here internets for 6 months or so. That can't be bad.

    What the Nats are going to have is a PM with no experience in government, let alone cabinet. He is optimistic and sunny though so good luck to him. His cabinet will support him, no doubt, lots of great minds and experience there. Locky Smith, Simon Power, and the aforementioned Mr's English and McCully.

    What's not to like, it's going to be hillarious.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 247 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    You forgot to mention that he kept his eyes closed

    And he never inhaled.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Campbell,

    OK - I'm going to chime in late - largely because I'm travelling and don't get to just hang here every minute .... and there's that whole timezone and traffic thing ....

    I wrote the letter after watching the news in the departure lounge and asking the AirNZ person at the info desk "what's up?" - got a blank stare and a please email this person if you have a complaint (actually I was offered the chance of calling someone who had already gone home for the day) .... of course all I got was form email saying they'll get back to me ... they didn't

    I think that we do individually get to make those personal decisions about our own safety and security, I don't want some big nanny state or airline telling me where/when/how I should travel - I want to make those decisions for myself - all I need to know is the truth - have enough data to be an adult and decide the risks based on my world view, not theirs - if they are doing something controversial they should put it out there in the media - I shouldn't have to read some house magazine to find out.



    Think of the sorts of choices one might have - for example assume that Qantas and ANZ have both done things or represent things that make them equal targets - which should I fly on? (probably Qantas, they have more planes so more targets). Now because of Australia's behaviour in the world I still think that Qantas is much more of a target than ANZ - it's just that because of what's happened - that balance has shifted and say if Air France starts up on the pacific route they might then provide a safer alternative where it would have been a toss-up a week ago.

    Then again maybe you just want a cheaper fare and will take your chances.

    Of course really what's happend is that AirNZ didn't make a big deal about it because they knew that it was controversial, and didn't want to discourage potential customers - it's rather blown up in their faces - there will be idealistic kids heading off on their OE this year who will think twice about who they'll fly with because they don't want to support the war in Iraq and that will cost them, business. People like me who travel too much (and wish they didn't) but have a choice will also think twice about where they go - though honestly travel to the US is difficult one - the choices have been narrowing too much recently and it's probably been keeping the prices up

    Now I'll go back to my regular gripe: AirNZ could we please have the old seats back, the ones with the lumbar support you made such a big deal with they were great - hmm maybe they got some ex-iraqi-water-boarding-prison beds in exchange and covered them with their logo

    Dunedin • Since Nov 2006 • 2622 posts Report Reply

  • Rob Hosking,

    Nah. He got asked.

    Not sure if the Rudd thing has made such a splash for the reasons you suggest. It seems to be more that its seen as quite titillating, with an election on the way and it is easier to talk about than, say, fiscal policy.

    The only people who seem shocked by it, though, seem to be Australian journalists, which simply feels wrong.

    There was a very loaded poll on one newspaper web site which asked whether Rudd's strip club visit was "in the national interest". An incredibly loaded queston.

    At time of writing, over 50% said yes it was.

    South Roseneath • Since Nov 2006 • 830 posts Report Reply

  • Don Christie,

    Can we back the truck up for a moment:

    Air NZ did tell people - it was in their monthly magazine a couple of months ago.

    You mean to say the country's self acclaimed greatest investigative journalist eva got his story from his target's own publication?

    Wow, what skill, what a coup.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1645 posts Report Reply

  • Richard Llewellyn,

    There was a very loaded poll on one newspaper web site which asked whether Rudd's strip club visit was "in the national interest". An incredibly loaded queston.

    At time of writing, over 50% said yes it was.

    Heh - gotta love that larrikin humour, eh? Every time I go and see a friend who lives in Melbourne I pass by the Harold Holt Public Swimming Pool on the way - gets me every time :)

    Mt Albert • Since Nov 2006 • 399 posts Report Reply

  • nz native,

    would I be correct in my guess that all those who dont see what all the fuss is about ( in regards to air Nz) are the same people who supported the original bogus invasion of Iraq??? .

    ........ as for Iraq being a 'friend' of ours, does anyone seriously view it as a real functioning country?.

    are we friends with war zones now?

    Since May 2007 • 60 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    I'm very curious to know what Key's been so quick to tell his tale? I doubt he feels there's an advantage to it, rather I suspect he's had prior warning of some anonymous tip-off to the press.

    Perhaps, but come one... he's a filthy rich yuppie scumbag and we all know that they're perverts. :) (Conversely, the thought of Sue Kedgley taking the girls out after a hard day at the UN to drunkenly ckeck out the talent in a Manhattan boy bar is just too hideous for words.)

    More seriously, if Key's media advisors are halfway competent they should be anticipating stories like this and shutting them down. And, in a weird way, I think it is an advantage for Key; just as it was very smart from Tim Grosser to say in the face of certain recent allegations "yes, I have smoked pot - not proud of it, but it happened - just not when I was a senior diplomat."

    I think we can be quite forgiving of deeply flawed (even quite sleazy) politicians. What people don't like is the sense that they're being played for fools - after all, wasn't the great lesson of Watergate that it's not the crime that ultimately brings you down, but the cover up?
    God knows in the rich history of rat-bastardry that is Australian politics, Rudd is as close to squeaky clean as anyone's likely to get. :)

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • Rob Hosking,

    Craig wrote:

    God knows in the rich history of rat-bastardry that is Australian politics, Rudd is as close to squeaky clean as anyone's likely to get. :)

    That's a damn good point. This is very suspicious, in fact. While we're at it, Costello looks too bloody clean to be true, as well....

    Best comment thus far on the Rudders strip club though was from Dirk Flinthart who asked the most important question: did he tip?

    If Ruddy left a decent tip, then he's good enough to be an Australian PM. But if he patted at his pockets, looked embarrassedly at his buddies and then shuffled out bent-over to keep the Little Opposition Leader from showing his head, I'm afraid we're going to have to give him to the Americans. He's no bloody use over here.

    South Roseneath • Since Nov 2006 • 830 posts Report Reply

  • Joe Wylie,

    . . . the Harold Holt Public Swimming Poo . . .

    Harold "swam to Russia" Holt - what a rich heritage of laughs he bequeathed the nation with the special manner of his passing.
    One of the few fun things about riding the Sydney trains was the occasional interesting juxtaposition of the front and back pages of the tabloids as they were being read by other passengers. The absolute classic was supposed to be a Daily Mirror from the late 60s, where the front page headline was Search for PM's Body Continues. On the adjoining back sports section was a piece on the boxer Rocky Gattelari - I'm Not Washed Up Yet.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    are we friends with war zones now?

    Well, since you asked the question, nz native, I'd say Timor-Leste has quite a way to go before it could be classed as a "real functioning country" - and the political instability and violence over the last sixteen months or so didn't help matters any.

    I sure hope they can continue to rely on the moral and practical 'friendship' of New Zealand - God knows they need it.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • mark baker,

    I gotta come back to the Air New Zealand thing, and our ongoing confusion over what Air NZ is.

    Not a national carrier. Not for years.
    Not a troop carrier. Except when there's a $ to be earned.
    Not brave enough to front its majority shareholder and say "well, Big Hel, sorry but we are in the business of making money, and the Aussies seem to have quite a bit of it. So what would you prefer, Ma'am; ethical purity and righteous indignation or a good fat dividend into the consolidated fund?"

    Now if they were carrying that bloke Al Quaeda or his hairy mates, or that pervy old boob-fondler Rudd I'd get REALLY annoyed...

    Papakura • Since Nov 2006 • 20 posts Report Reply

  • mark baker,

    Richard L, I have one for you: from the following:

    "and an arrogant wanker with very much the white man's burden on his ample shoulders

    Heh - the Scottish phrase I liked was (used in reference to a similarly dislikable twerp - Rob Andrew) "He's got a face like a smacked arse".

    to one I heard last year that made me snort flat white out my beak most undecorously:

    "a face like a dropped pie"

    Papakura • Since Nov 2006 • 20 posts Report Reply

  • mark baker,

    Ummm...and just a minute.
    We are morally outraged that Air NZ flew Aussies TOWARD Eyerack, but we don't care that Rakon is more directly involved in the War on Terrur, making wobbly things that guide smart bombs used by the USA in the same part of the world?
    That's so muddled it's not even a double standard.
    Ahhhh, Big Gay Hel, you twist and turn like a twisty turny thing...

    Papakura • Since Nov 2006 • 20 posts Report Reply

  • mark baker,

    ...oh, and one last thing if I may...the Ministers of this increasingly shonky-looking Government were NEVER "blindsided" by the "revelation".

    Apart from the fact it was not a Wishart scoop, nobody "blindsides" these people...it's much too easy to simply "dumbside" them. Shooting fish in a barrel, though the nats don;lt look much more appetising.
    Proof positive, if it were needed, that third term Governments are just a bad idea.

    ...I'll shuffle off back to my cave now if you don't mind...

    Papakura • Since Nov 2006 • 20 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Williams,

    Perhaps, but come one... he's a filthy rich yuppie scumbag and we all know that they're perverts. :)

    Craig, I know your comment was in jest but I do have to (mildly) object to the stereotype. Either way, I figure most heterosexual men have been to strip clubs at some point or other, myself and politicians included. I don't really care too much, although I guess if a politician was regularly visiting Mermaids until the wee-small hours you'd wonder why?

    I only wonder why Key's been so quick to declare his own visit? If not to preempt some salacious disclosure, then perhaps to draw a comparison with Clark - who's responded in pretty much the way you'd expect?

    Sydney • Since Nov 2006 • 2273 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    We are morally outraged that Air NZ flew Aussies TOWARD Eyerack, but we don't care that Rakon is more directly involved in the War on Terrur, making wobbly things that guide smart bombs used by the USA in the same part of the world?
    That's so muddled it's not even a double standard.

    Sigh ... but Rakon isn't 80% owned by the New Zealand government, is it? Even if you take the view that the charter flight is of no account, it's a bit silly to pretend it's exactly the same thing.

    Ahhhh, Big Gay Hel...

    Sigh (again) ... Are you sure you didn't click the wrong link and meant to go to some other blog where that constitutes a funny joke?

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22843 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    More seriously, if Key's media advisors are halfway competent they should be anticipating stories like this and shutting them down. And, in a weird way, I think it is an advantage for Key; just as it was very smart from Tim Grosser to say in the face of certain recent allegations "yes, I have smoked pot - not proud of it, but it happened - just not when I was a senior diplomat."

    I hope for his sake that's correct.

    But wouldn't it be a refreshing change to have a politician admit to past pot use and not immediately rush a qualifier like "I'm not proud of it" or "I regret it now" or "it was foolish of me" or "I didn't inhale"?

    Bring on the member who says, "yes, I smoked pot - and, you know, it was really rather fun".

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22843 posts Report Reply

  • Michael Fitzgerald,

    NZ native said
    ( in regards to air Nz) are the same people who supported the original bogus invasion of Iraq??? .

    Hell no it shud never have happened, but we went as part of the coillition of the slightly reluctant.

    The point is we went armed to Iraq, so troop movements in support are not inconsistant with our privious actions and as such raised no eyebrows at Air NZ MFAT etc.

    Since May 2007 • 631 posts Report Reply

  • Michael Fitzgerald,

    What fun we had with that laced shit off the boat in my teens and hell yeah the ambulance rides & my mates OD were a blast too. Nah I really regret some of the shit I've done.

    Since May 2007 • 631 posts Report Reply

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