Hard News by Russell Brown

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Hard News: Another entry in the Public Address Medical Journal

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  • Joe Wylie,

    I feel so clever for having come up with Ian Dalziel...

    So it was really you who bought me a coffee last night - and cried Mis cojones! when you dropped a couple of oddfellows on the footpath. As a minor figment of your imagination, I'm impressed. Now, about Redbaiter . . .

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    Funny, I never suspected you as being behind Whaleoil, Kiwiblog and Cactus Kate.

    Now, about Redbaiter . . .

    Well, every story needs bad guys. And some of them are pretty grotesquely bad, I mean they're Sauron-like for chrissakes - I can be a little too heavy handed at times. Who could believe that such people exist? Yet the audience laps them up. Go figure.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • JackElder,

    Funny, I never suspected you as being behind Whaleoil, Kiwiblog and Cactus Kate.

    These would be his id in action.

    Wellington • Since Mar 2008 • 708 posts Report Reply

  • FletcherB,

    So, if we're all figments of your imagination, who are this 'audience' you speak of? Just yourself, too?

    West Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 893 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    They're all lurkers. The universe is full of lurkers.

    (Now honestly all I want to do is drop everything I'm doing and reach for my copy of Flow my Tears. Curse you, Ian me!)

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Joe Wylie,

    (Now honestly all I want to do is drop everything I'm doing and reach for my copy of Flow my Tears. Curse you, Ian me!)

    Wouldn't Confessions of a Crap Artist be more appropriate right now?

    BTW, speaking purely as a figment, it's a bit disappointing to discover that Craig is just someone you invented to play sillybuggers with.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    Wouldn't Confessions of a Crap Artist be more appropriate right now?

    C'mon now, I'm pretty average but you've got to admit some of my characters are great. I mean take Craig.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    C'mon now, I'm pretty average but you've got to admit some of my characters are great.

    You have trouble with Danielle, though, right? That's why I'm not allowed to "meet" her.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    That's why I'm not allowed to "meet" her.

    You speak as if you weren't a figment yourself. What is this, Seven Hundred Characters in Search of an Author?

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    You have trouble with Danielle, though, right? That's why I'm not allowed to "meet" her.

    Yes, we have encountered some problems with that active. She seems to break programming.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22843 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle,

    Yes, we have encountered some problems with that active. She seems to break programming.

    See, now I'm going to walk into some PA thing with a dorky nametag, and you'll all be 'that's Danielle, for serious? She's so... short. And underwhelming.'

    Can Gio's imagination make me taller and more generally awe-inspiring between now and the next thing? I'm counting on you, man.

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    Can Gio's imagination make me taller and more generally awe-inspiring between now and the next thing? I'm counting on you, man.

    No, but if you really feel the need may I suggest: platform shoes, and awesomeness pills. The latter of course for the placebo effect, as discussed upthread.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle,

    pass your commentary beneath the eyes of the webGod

    Hang on: are we in the prog thread now?

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report Reply

  • Joe Wylie,

    Hang on: are we in the prog thread now?

    Overweening pretension + minimal talent? Sounds progressive.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    That snot character needs some work. Gio, you must tone down its hackneyed pomo academic references a tad. The homophobic elements are inspired, but.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19735 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    p, I'm deleting your posts. You can't play victim when it's you picking the fights. Perhaps you could just leave us alone with our smugness.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22843 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    Yet it was the worst pain I've ever experienced by a factor of 10... and I've crawled out of several car wrecks, been beaten till my eyes swelled closed, and of course kicked in the nads on occasion.

    I'd recommend an autobiography.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19735 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    Christ. You mean there was p drivel I hadn't even seen yet?

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19735 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    See, now I'm going to walk into some PA thing

    And I'll be expecting a rugby jersey and spectacles, for some reason.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19735 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    Overweening pretension + minimal talent?

    There can be only one of us, dammit!

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    Can Gio's imagination make me taller and more generally awe-inspiring between now and the next thing? I'm counting on you, man.

    Honestly, I already prefer you to Leggy Supermodel Danielle. She's so up herself.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22843 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    See, now I'm going to walk into some PA thing with a dorky nametag, and you'll all be 'that's Danielle, for serious? She's so... short. And underwhelming.'

    Not at all. You see, the shorter you are the more concentrated the aewsomosity is. Like some super-kawaii new washing power that makes my clapped out pappy-knickers smell like puppies and spring rain and supertankers filled with orange blossom. Or something.

    Ah, fuck it -- you're short, I'm fat, anyone who gives us shit will be dead. Carry on.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • Rob Hosking,

    Overweening pretension + minimal talent? Sounds progressive.

    And the whimsy. Don't forget the whimsy.

    There can be only one of us, dammit!

    Annnd there it is.

    South Roseneath • Since Nov 2006 • 830 posts Report Reply

  • Joe Wylie,

    And the whimsy. Don't forget the whimsy.

    I did have prog-rock in mind. That and the persistent pustule whose posts have now been mercifully zit-squeezed. But yes, a dash of whimsey would have improved, say, Emerson Lake & Palmer's Fanfare for the Common Man.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report Reply

  • Hilary Stace,

    Catching up with where PA has been lately and found this thread a fascinating organ recital.

    Can't really understand the tension between treatment options. It has always puzzled me why 'science' should automatically have precedence over much older paradigms that gave us acupuncture or herbal treatments. And why you must have either/or. The main thing is to find someone you trust as a healer, or a treatment that works for you.

    I have an inhaler for my asthma but acupuncture to reduce allergy. My friend has had surgery for spinal cord injury and a magnetic mattress and ruta grav (homeopathic tincture) for a more comfortable sleep. My family has a much trusted GP, and ditto a homeopath, an osteopath, and an acupuncturist/Chinese herbalist. All women, coincidentally. Depends what the problem is, who to consult.

    Its like that pain thing. It's personal and depends on context. Pain of childbirth is productive, positive and masked by hormones to a certain extent. Pain of induction after baby has died in utero is totally different.

    Wgtn • Since Jun 2008 • 3222 posts Report Reply

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