Field Theory by Hadyn Green

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Field Theory: 25 Things you need to be a man

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  • Joe Wylie,

    Good man skill: Asking for "trade discount" at man shops.

    If you wore a tool belt - you know, the standard carpenter's codpiece - you'd be given the discount without having to flap your yap like a girl.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report Reply

  • Margaret,

    At my girls' high school (circa 2002 mind) we could take these life-skill modules - they always seemed to me to be some weird sort of recipe for an ideal 'lady'. The ones I can remember were : crafts, public speaking, walking, entertaining, self-presentation (which was how to put on make-up and have good posture) and out of left field - flying.

    Also, of all my friends the one who can do the most 'manly' things (diy, car stuff, fuses etc.) is a girl learnt it all at girl guides.

    Wellington • Since Sep 2007 • 15 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    Seems to me the whole matter boils down to-

    you're an adult (yay!)
    Can you deal with most domestic stuff - & reasonably forseen stuff, pertinent to your environment?
    YES! = big tick.

    NO- o dear. Learn to.

    And *never* ask me to survive in a city!

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Brent Jackson,

    dc_red wrote:

    If anyone has any advances on: "take foot off accelerator, point wheel in direction you'd ideally be going, resist urge to slam on brakes really hard, hope for the best" ... well, I'm all ears.

    This may apply for rear wheel drive cars (depending on the cause of the skid), but for front wheel drive cars you should point the wheels in the direction you are trying to go, and keep your foot on the accelerator (but not too much) so that the front wheels are trying to drag the car in that direction.

    Lifting off the accelerator in a front wheel drive car while going around a corner, is asking for the back wheels to overtake the front wheels. Stay under power, and resist the temptation to turn the wheel more and more if the front wheels are sliding. Try to drive out of it.

    (Here's hoping no-one ever needs to put this into practise :-).

    Cheers,
    Brent.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 620 posts Report Reply

  • Amy Gale,

    Quite apart from the fact that such barns of blokiness are normally situated in godawful suburbs, the only real reason that a gentleman need visit such a place is for picture hooks.

    What if he needs a drywalling knife to temper some chocolate?

    tha Ith • Since May 2007 • 471 posts Report Reply

  • Megan Wegan,

    ...some weird sort of recipe for an ideal 'lady'. The ones I can remember were : crafts, public speaking, walking, entertaining, self-presentation (which was how to put on make-up and have good posture) and out of left field - flying.

    Same. And of all those things, which spoon to use, posture, how to match your lipstick to your shoes, the one which has come most in handy in life is how to change a bloody tyre.

    (And no, I wasn't taught to wait by the side of the road until a nice man comes along and changes it for you.)

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    I'm joining the thread with much lateness, just to make the point that according to the list in the post I doubt I even qualify as a member of the species, let alone a bloke.

    (What's a "car"?)

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Kim_Wright,

    This list is very dubious, judging by how many of the criteria I meet I guess I could consider myself an honorary man. I blame my dad; he always wanted a boy and I spent my childhood trekking around wrecking yards. However, although I can competently do about three quarters of the stuff on that list , I am most definitely not a man.

    I agree with Islander, its more about being an adult, than man or woman skills. For example I can do all the automotive stuff but how unusual is that - anyone who owned a British car in the 80s compulsorily had to learn a great deal of maintenance skills just to keep the bloody things going. Still love the old Vauxhalls though. Bring back tail fins I say! mmmm

    Wellington • Since May 2009 • 57 posts Report Reply

  • Kumara Republic,

    anyone who owned a British car in the 80s compulsorily had to learn a great deal of maintenance skills just to keep the bloody things going.

    Like these or these?

    The southernmost capital … • Since Nov 2006 • 5445 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    The ones I can remember were : crafts, public speaking, walking, entertaining, self-presentation (which was how to put on make-up and have good posture) and out of left field - flying.

    Walking? Some people hadn't mastered this by high school?

    This may apply for rear wheel drive cars (depending on the cause of the skid), but for front wheel drive cars you should point the wheels in the direction you are trying to go, and keep your foot on the accelerator (but not too much) so that the front wheels are trying to drag the car in that direction.

    Wait, where does the swearing and screaming come in?

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • Rich Lock,

    some weird sort of recipe for an ideal 'lady'. The ones I can remember were : crafts, public speaking, walking, entertaining, self-presentation (which was how to put on make-up and have good posture) and out of left field - flying.

    Flying? How weird.

    After the patriarchy subjugated teh wimminz and crushed their spirits with a list of repressive skills they have to learn, they decided to balance it out by giving them the skills to escape.

    Fly forever free, Amelia! Don't let them tie you down!

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2728 posts Report Reply

  • Kim_Wright,

    anyone who owned a British car in the 80s compulsorily had to learn a great deal of maintenance skills just to keep the bloody things going.

    Like these or these?

    Oh crikey, yeah I guess saying you owned it in the eighties implied the car was from the eighties.... those 80s models were just shockers, I preferred the 50s and 60s models (column change and only three forward gears anyone?)

    The ones I can remember were : crafts, public speaking, walking, entertaining, self-presentation (which was how to put on make-up and have good posture) and out of left field - flying.

    Flying? Maybe they thought women would be needed in the air corp to defend our shores should our brave lads be overseas fighting ze enemy

    Wellington • Since May 2009 • 57 posts Report Reply

  • andin,

    anyone who owned a British car in the 80s compulsorily had to learn a great deal of maintenance skills just to keep the bloody things going.
    Like these or these?

    Sheez in the 80's ya bought used french like these.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peugeot_403

    http://www.504.org/

    And manly means being able to listen to grown intelligent people converse and learning from the conversation.

    raglan • Since Mar 2007 • 1891 posts Report Reply

  • Margaret,

    Walking? Some people hadn't mastered this by high school?

    I know! In hindsight this was actually one of the best options as it just involved 'walking' around in Hagley Park with your friends for a couple of hours.

    Wellington • Since Sep 2007 • 15 posts Report Reply

  • Morgan Nichol,

    I can do (and have done) 20 of the 25, and I'm just as urban as the most useless of the girlymen that have posted in the thread.

    It's just that I'm not bloody useless with it.

    All due respect. Or whatever. Ahem.

    Hadyn's additions of being able to cook a meal and navigate in a city, are bloody goods ones.

    I'd like to add a couple of other things to the list:
    - Be able to jumpstart a car, and even better crash start one.
    - If you can only drive an automatic, then you're bloody useless.
    - And if you can't back up a trailer, you should at least be able to securely attach one to a towball (because, honestly, I don't give a shit if it takes you 30 minutes to get the thing up your driveway, but if it comes unfastened when you're on the motorway, it won't be a rat I kill with a spade).

    And just incidentally, I reject any requirements for manliness that require killing an animal, or doing anything with an animals remains other than find a respectful way to dispose of them. Handy things when in a pinch, no doubt, but requirements? No.

    (I'm bloody handy in the kitchen with whatever you like, yes I can cook a good steak, or a roast, or whatever you like really. I just don't value killing as a useful trait, so have stopped eating corpses, is all.)

    The more people know about things, the more capable they'll be of getting out of a sticky situation and back to a comfortable life. Which seems bloody handy to me.

    Auckland CBD • Since Nov 2006 • 314 posts Report Reply

  • Kerry Weston,

    Bring back tail fins I say! mmmm

    My best mate's dad had one of these - we called it Flash Gordon, took it out for hooning purposes. Bastard to park.

    Manawatu • Since Jan 2008 • 494 posts Report Reply

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