Speaker by Various Artists

A World Cup quarter final almost seems an unseemly place to be visiting the spectacle of Netherlands vs. Brazil or Argentina vs. Germany. These games have the ring of semi-finals or even a final about them, but the quarters?

Brazil are starting to look ominous as Kaka gets into his work. The defence hasn’t been too troubled so far (although did ship a goal to plucky isolationists, People's Republic of Korea) and Robinho is looking happy and full of vigour so the Netherlands won’t find too many weaknesses. For their part, the Dutch really need Robben on his game as they’ve hardly looked like goal scoring monsters when he’s not around. Tough to break down though and I’m having trouble picking this one. If I had to I would say 1-1 and on to penalties. If it doesn’t go to penalties, I’m picking it will be Brazil heading into the next round.

The mouth watering game is the other one. Two teams in great form with attacking flair to burn and tiny questions on defence, it’s all set up for a cracker. The Germans are probably still pinching themselves over an England side that gave them their own half of a pitch to play on. It was a beautiful sight to see John Terry more exposed than his usual choice of girlfriends as the era of the Chelski billionaires, Krug, spitroasts, Bentleys and all came crashing down around them. The symmetry of the disallowed goal, the ten-year old dysfunctional midfield partnership, the incoherent manager bullying his youth team assistant, the dismayed gravitas of James Lawton in the Independent, this game had it all. And best of all Germany weren’t Germany, they were something else, fast, brave and willing to take risks as their youth team graduates, Ozil, Khadira and Muller put their burnt out rockstar opposition to the sword.

Speaking of burnt out rockstars, Maradona is doing a wonderful job with Argentina [Note from Hadyn: I totally thought Pete was gonna talk about Mick Jagger supporting the USA and England].

Messi looks a different class to anyone else at this competition, the team is happy, playing football full of joy and why not, they have their own football God looking after them. He pats them on the bottom, gives them a kiss when they’re subbed (take note Fabio) and dances a jig along the sideline as only a man totally in love with the beautiful game could do.

There’s plenty of history here too with the sides having met in two consecutive finals in 1986 and 1990. Argentina took the first one in an exciting 3-2 result where the Germans kept fighting back but couldn’t hold on. It was the opposite in 1990 where Lothar Mattheus’s men got revenge against an average and bitterly cynical Argentinean side in the worst final of recent times. In 2006 the two teams met again, this time in the quarter finals (spooky) and it was 1-1 with the Germans winning on penalties. It could be the same this time around but I think experience will win out in this one and Argentina’s big name players will bring it home. 3-2 would do nicely thanks.

In the other games Uruguay take on Ghana in an ‘old World Cup’ meets ‘new World Cup’ sort of way while Spain meet Paraguay. If Paraguay make the last 4 that would be kind of cool seeing as they couldn’t beat us but I’m thinking Spain, who are looking organised and determined rather than creative and emotional, will be too much for them over 90 minutes. Amazing that any team could have a player as great as Fernando Torres deeply out of form and still have goal scoring resources to burn. We’ve only really seen Villa so far but any one of Xavi, Iniesta, Sergio Ramos, Alonso (or of course Torres) can be a decent goal threat.

It’s all going so quickly now, big names are about to disappear at a rapid rate, legends will be made, villains will be uncovered, a surprise might be had, a riot might take place, the ball will still be shit, and before you know it there will be four.

Pete

And once more the World Cup says goodbye to England, and we are left to wonder if Wayne Rooney will grow that beard and look up a billboard showing the glowing face of Miroslav Klose splattered in black, red and gold paint. He certainly won't be beating Federer at Table Tennis, that's for sure.

I will admit to being a German fan for one of those long-forgotten yet ultimately stupid reasons (and I don't think this was a uniform thing). Yet because of that, I have always supported the German team at the World Cup. After all New Zealand were never there at a time when I was old enough for truly complex thought (in 1982 I was three); and I never felt a connection to England, despite the clear the lineage on my father's side.

After having said that this isn't a uniform thing, I do own a classic German adidas jersey but honestly my support for the team exists only during a World Cup year. This was an issue one evening when wearing the jersey to a Turkish restaurant on Queen St. The waiter began talking to me in fluent German (it's the red hair, it's happened many times before and since, most notably in Paris where street hawkers offered me things by yelling "Mein Herr! Mein Herr!). But this night when I explained "Ich spreche kein Deutsch" he simply took that to mean I was an English speaking devout follower of the Bundeslega, and began to ask me various questions about players I had never heard of. All of this was not helping me impress the girl I was with.

And yet despite, or perhaps because of, this I am still a fan of the Germans (no matter what Stephen Fry says).

Although the English/German football rivalry is interesting. By being the runners-up in their group England was lining up history. First a match against the Germans, and if they won that (spoiler: they didn't, although there was a lovely homage to the 1966 final performed by Frank Lampard) it would've been a match against the Argentineans. Could the English have kept it together with Maradona on the sidelines?

Probably not. Sadly (for them) the English seem to be much like the All Blacks when it comes to World Cups. So full of dread and self-doubt when in the game that all the flaws and minor indiscretions that you can shake off any other day, suddenly become ten-tonne weights slowing your legs and making you hate your opposition and your teammates with equal passion.

The English should watch next year's world cup with interest. See how well the All Blacks do with the added pressure of playing at home. Then they can see if they want to bid to host it.

And the tournament hurtles on at a heck of a pace. Before I can deliver a summary of Group A, Uruguay have already made it in to the Quarter Finals and as I type Ghana are leading the USA in their Round of Sixteen match in Rustenburg - Oh, a penalty for USA!

It’s almost impossible to catch one’s breath in this tournament. I’ve managed to watch a game a day plus the highlights package and the quality of the football (and drama) on offer is improving all the time.

The comparative strengths of the Latin teams (as opposed to the European ones) is the narrative of the tournament so far - New Zealand were one of only three teams to get so much as a draw against the Latin Americans - and we can add Spain and Portugal to the list of the most dangerous contenders.

My other groups were E & H. It looks like the Netherlands are the only northern European side to be playing up to their reputation but they have yet to be really tested - Denmark were poor, Japan only got thorough because Denmark were poor and Cameroon were unlucky to come last but weren’t good enough to go through. The Dutch should take out Slovakia, who won’t be able to back up after their efforts against Italy the other night, and comfortably make it into the Quarters.

Japan might have a show against Paraguay if they are given as much as room as they got from the Danes - particularly with those splendid free-kicks.

In Group H, while there wasn’t much to separate Spain and Chile on points they were worlds apart in quality. Spain’s David Villa is one of the stars of the tournament and the Spanish have quality and flair all over the pitch. Chile are dirty, niggly little buggers and I can’t see them beating Brazil (who haven’t raised much of a sweat so far).

The Round of Sixteen has generated some mouth-watering match-ups: Argentina v Mexico, Germany v England (which Peter analyses below) and the battle of the Iberian peninsula - Spain v Portugal on Wednesday morning. Can’t wait.

Dan

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Round 1 Review
In Group B Argentina were not quite as dominant as the final table suggests but they always looked comfortable. And with a frontline of Messi, Higuain, Tevez, Aguerro and Milito there can no other team in the competition so blessed in attack. It’s not all about attack though and the Argentineans looked decidedly shaky on defence at times, most notably against the Nigerians in their first match. They were majestic against a very good South Korea side though, especially once they had worn them down, no mercy was shown in the final 30 minutes. South Korea are also through though and a very handy side with the likes of Park Ji Sung from Manchester Utd and Park Chu-young from Monaco amongst their ranks, they did well to get past disappointing Nigeria and Greece sides and into the Round of 16.

Spain were expected to waltz through Group H but have looked a little out of sorts, losing their first match to a stolid but spirited Swiss side. They won their next two, including a fairly dominant performance against Chile despite a seriously under powered Fernando Torres. Spain and Chile go through to meet Portugal and Brazil respectively in the finals. There’s quite a bit of talk about how the altitude is affecting some of the top players (Rooney, Torres). I’m not sure, what do you think?

England vs. Germany; It wasn’t always this way.

Geoff Hurst, is the only player to score a hat trick in a World Cup final. Hurst, the likable West Ham Utd striker was not even a main-stay in the England team at the start of the 1966 World Cup but won his place when first choice target man Jimmy Greaves was injured against France in the group stages. Greaves, also from East London, never really got over it, mainly because he was fit for the final but by that stage Hurst had proven himself and coach Alf Ramsey wanted to keep the same side together to face the Germans.

After heading home England’s first from a free kick, Hurst’s second was the controversial ‘line’ goal that still causes arguments to this day. Naturally I believe it was over but the linesman didn’t help matters by initially signalling no goal and then changing his mind. Hurst’s last goal right on full time is a delight, and one of my favourites of all time for three reasons. Firstly, it sealed his hat-trick writing him permanently into the history books. Secondly, he was fed by Captain Bobby Moore. England’s greatest ever player and fellow Hammer, Moore ignored his team-mates pleas to put the ball out and finish the game, instead sending a sweetly lofted pass into space that Hurst could run onto and hammer into the German net. Great thinking by Moore and a goal that put the result beyond doubt (important considering the nature of Hurst’s second, above). And thirdly, as there were spectators starting to run onto the pitch it brought out the greatest football quote of all time from the commentator; “They think it’s all over ... It is now!”

The Germans naturally feel a bit ripped off, but the English won it playing to their strengths with lots of heart and lots of energy. At the completion of normal time Ramsey wouldn’t let the players lie down as this would make them look tired. He made them stand and look fresh to dishearten their opposition.

Hurst said recently that he spent the weekend after the World Cup mowing his lawn and washing his car. The following week he was asked to present a new car to a Bingo winner in Ilford. He was introduced to those present as World Cup winner Mr George Hurst. Ah, them were the days...

Pete

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At this World Cup I can’t help thinking of the USA as just a bigger version of us. They’ve got a home-grown coach; they aren’t expected to do well; football isn’t the national sport; and their tactics seem to be to cross it in and hope like Hell Landon Donovan is there to do something. We just don’t have a Landon Donovan.

Ghana on the other hand, are the last great hope for the continent. The Black Stars are fantastic and as I write this they have just secured a quarterfinal appearance, with a fantastic overtime goal against the US.

So now we look to Germany vs England and Portugal vs Spain: games with no history behind them whatsoever.

Back in 2000 we went to Portugal for a holiday, it’s a fantastic country and we loved the people and the culture. We stayed with a friend’s family and they instilled in us the importance of hating the Spanish. We are much like the Portuguese. A small country beside a larger more famous country that we have a healthy rivalry with; the big difference being that we have never been invaded by Australia.

Portugal’s campaign has been lacklustre so far. Ronaldo and Deco and Simao have yet to really hit their straps, and a scrappy game against Brazil has shown that they may struggle against the bigger teams. Teams like Spain, who have also started slowly.

For me Japan, are the surprise entrants in this round and I don’t expect to see them travelling further. But then again their attack had better structure than I was expecting. The Crows will have the incentive of wanting to get further than the Koreans who have now bowed out. And they may just have the edge over a Paraguayan team who couldn’t even score against easy-beats New Zealand.

Hadyn

Less than two weeks in and already this World Cup is taking its toll. This morning I overslept for the first time (thanks to a dreary England victory which some England fans are hailing as a new dawn) and I have to stay awake tonight for the game that Wellington’s Dominion Post are calling “One game to glory”. Seeing as they called the Bahrain game last year “One shot at glory” perhaps they should a) find a new cliché or b) realise that this New Zealand side is going to have plenty of these sort of events as the team matures or c) all of the above.

The shadow looming over the game is that the vultures are circling over Ricki Herbert and he is refusing to rule out a high profile move to Europe, Asia or Aus once the comp is over. While I hate the idea of the Phoenix and All Whites projects being derailed no one could begrudge Herbert an opportunity further afield and he should go while his stocks are highest.

A few months ago Peter D and I jokingly suggested to the West Ham list we are both on that Ricki would be a good bet to replace Gianfranco Zola. He’s got all his badges, his teams are composed, well organised and play for each other and he’s an excellent judge of a player - some of those ‘Nix signings last year were excellent and players like Winston Reid (Midtjylland in Denmark) and Tommy Smith (Ipswich Town) have been a revelation.

So, tonight: the pundits are suggesting that Paraguay will have more firepower than our previous opponents and that might be true. South American flair will have a better chance of unlocking Nelsen’s defence than the Europeans.

If I were Herbert, I would drop the talismanic Fallon (France’s Gourcoff was sent off yesterday for a very Fallon-like elbow-leading challenge) and replace him with the beefy Chris Wood who, I think, needs more time on the pitch to sharpen up. He made some great chances late in the Italy game and he makes things happen on the ground rather than in the air. For all the talk of our aerial power Smeltz and Elliott have enough skill in their feet to keep any defence busy.

It was a pleasure to see Bertos running at defenders for the first time since his injury break mid-season - it means his confidence is finally returning - and Vicelich has done nothing to justify being replaced by the unlucky Brown (who will get a run out some time tonight).

If we attack, we’re in with a shout. It’s as simple as that.

Written by the brilliant Dan Slevin

The World Cup only comes around once every four years, this means everyone has a good chance to save up all their whinging for one month-long burst.

First it was the vuvuzelas. Our broadcasts were suffering from the death of a thousand plastic horns. It seems now the attendees have learned how to create some kind of tune with them as the monotone is more of a sine wave.

And then there's the ball. The Jabulani (which means rejoice) is apparently the worst spheroid designed to be kicked in the HISTORY OF MANKIND! It is so bad in fact that it defies the laws of physics. After the New Zealand-Slovakia match, one of TVNZ's in-house commentators claimed that the ball "picked up speed after you kicked it". Others claim that it keeps rising into the air.

But it has to blamed doesn't it? I mean it's too light and lighter means fewer goals. Like the +Teamgiest at Germany in 2006, which was also too light and where the teams only scored 12 more goals than the teams this time around (89 goals scored in 2006 compared to 77 at the same time this year).

Or what about the Fevernova? The ball used in the 2002 World Cup that was also too light and players were complaining that it was causing too many goals. Wait, what?

The Jabulani is the roundest ball ever. And the rounder and smoother the ball the weirder it's gonna move. Unsurprisingly the Americans know what this means: it's a knuckleball. A ball that has very little spin and so moves in an "unnatural" way.

So why is everyone complaining? The goalies are complaining and the strikers are complaining; one of them must be wrong. as Adelaide University professor Derek Leinweber said, goalkeepers want "an iron ball that sits at the centre of the field". The strikers are complaining they can't place the ball where they want because it moves oddly. I counter with if you can usually place the ball where you want then why don't you score more? And the guys crossing the ball into the penalty area seem be having no trouble finding their targets.

One thing that may be annoying the keepers is the pattern on the ball. When seen moving in slow-mo (and high def and I couldn't find a video to link to for this) the pattern exaggerates the movement of the ball. In some shots you can see the keeper's eyes trying to lock on to where the ball is actually moving to, despite the ball not actually moving that much. A recent scientific paper showed that a similar effect was true of a curveball in baseball.

Come the second round we'll probably be complaining about something else, like, I dunno, diving.

We play a very... well let's call it a physical style of play. Fallon has a nasty elbow habit and as was pointed out in the System, our defence seems to mainly be flailing limbs. And for all our high and mighty-ness, I saw many kiwi players flying through the air hands clutched to faces. Or maybe it was Bertos and Reid over and over, I forget. The sheer number of cameras, though, means every simulation (dive) is caught in perfect HD (and in some cases, 3D).

Diving is, in my opinion, the reason why football will struggle to be taken seriously here and in to an extent in the US. The nature of the New Zealand sports fan – and naturally I generalise here – is the type to yell "get up, ya sook", or words to that effect. And we are a nation who are incredibly good at rugby, a hard contact sport where feigning injury is on equal standing to causing it.

We are a nation of realists (with a tendency to go blind when swept up in our own success) and simulation doesn't gel with our mindset.

What does gel is the underdog amateur spirit of this All White squad. It's something that we haven't had in a sport team for a while. The All Blacks especially, but even our netballers competing against the rest of the world seem to be underperforming favourites rather than underdogs.

I mean it's hard to even look at Simon Elliot without feeling sorry for him.

The worst thing in the world that the All Whites could do is be successful. Sure, if they make it to the second round they'll be instant legends here. But then what happens at the next Cup? Football NZ needs to put a stop to their success before it gets out of hand. And God help them if they fluke their way to a win, there'll be no remorse.

On a weird note, when I was looking up the stuff about the last World Cup I found this:

[German Newspaper] Die Zeit, which questioned maternity units and birth clinics, reported a 29% rise in Bremen and 28% in Chemnitz. The full results will not be known until they are gathered by the Federal Office of Statistics next year, but the trend is clear, according to Rolf Kliche, head of the Dr Koch Birth Clinic in Kassel, which saw a 25% rise.

"The World Cup meant that people were in a constantly good mood for a month or so, which raised the amount of happy hormones and meant that people were ready for sex and their bodies more open to becoming pregnant," he said. "If we had a World Cup in Germany every year I think we'd have found the permanent answer to our low birthrate problem."

So what're the chances that we'll see a spike in births in February after all of those excited 4am hook-ups?