Island Life by David Slack

24

You both get sprayed with twits

The experts all told us it was a matter of "when", not "if", the virus would jump the species barrier. They said we should be prepared. They said we should take precautions.

But we didn't.

In just one week, 415,000 pigs, in 63 separate countries, have taken up Twittering.

How did it happen? Experts following the tweets believe the likely source to be an advertising campaign by Nokia for its new N99 model. The campaign sought to capitalise on worldwide resentment of investment bankers with the strapline: "only pigs use Blackberries".

The news has dominated the 24/7 news channels for days now, and although experts admonish us to remain calm, there is no sign of any easing in the panic buying of bacon, christmas hams and packets of pork scratchings.

Why? Perhaps it's because the twittering of the pigs has proven to be so uncannily human. How long before they get up on their two hind legs and walk amongst us?

The very popular tweets by English boar SundayFry have a great familiarity to them.

SundayFry
Feeling virtuous after trot around paddock. Then I bump into Gordon Hamsay who ran the marathon y'day: trumped , for sure. Shall I try that next year? Hm..

Geek enthusiasm is also evident.

TrimO'Really
Looking forward to using TroughTop candidate 7.2 as soon as SlopsHopper 3 is released.

Some show a perception rare even amongst human twitterers:

Napoleon

Finally saw the Susan Boyle clip. What kind of fucked up people would think that you wouldn't be able to sing just because you look a bit homely?

Meantime, amongst the two-legged pigs, it's twittering as usual.

michellemalkin

Hey, unhinged liberals: Guess who else opposed flu pandemic money in stimulus bill? CHARLES SCHUMER. http://bit.ly/djZfL

And the human loves it.

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