Island Life by David Slack


Michele A'Court has some very nice lines, in her new show, about the Germans. I will spoil the gag by telling tell you the punch line - completely out of context - which is that they have no word for "comedy". That still leaves several hundred excellent jokes from the show I haven't ruined for you, and you should absolutely get along to see her this week from Tuesday to Friday at the Transmission Room.

The show ostensibly concerns itself with the anguish that is the mid-life crisis, but that's just for starters. It's damned funny, and in the course of an hour or so she finds time to explore sundry moments of anguish for people of all ages, miners included.

Not forgetting, of course, those Germans. Do they have a word for the custom of charging hotel guests according to their weight, I wonder?

As improbable as it might sound, that is how you pay for your lodging at the Hotel Ostfriesland. 50 cents per kilogram. This is no doubt where Kate Moss will stay on her holidays if Pete keeps sucking all their savings up his nose.

If you're not prepared to get on the scales, you'll just pay the upper limit of 74 Euro. The hotel owner says it's not discrimination at all.

First of all, there's the upper limit. And besides that I don't force anyone onto the scale. Nevertheless, no one has yet to say 'no, forget that'.

He's clearly a good sport, because he'll let you disrobe for the purpose of saving a few bucks.

One man stripped all the way down to his underwear to try to push the price down.

Fair enough. Dignity is a much over-rated concept. Saving 2 Euros on the other hand; well, the Germans may not have a word for it, but Mastercard does.