Island Life by David Slack

Blurred vision

Some weeks, you just get so busy, the news simply rushes by.

From the snatches I've caught, I understand they've announced a bloody good line-up for the Big Day Out including P Diddy who's going to be covered in rock snot. Or was that something else? It's all such a blur.

Even if he's not in the schedule, that's a good looking list. I will be employing my usual Can-You-Let-Me-Through-Right-Now-I'm-Looking-For-My-Daughter line to get a parting of the crowds to get myself front and centre for the White Stripes. Russell can pull off the still-down-with-the kids thing; I see more utility in masquerading at such moments as one of Sir Humphrey's ageing misanthropes.

Meanwhile, if I have it right, our glorious leader is due to announce a new government, although Desperate Don might be making a late bid.

I just place that on record to get things rolling along swiftly towards closure because as soon as you write something like that, they go and announce something that dates it. Full credit, for keeping the game interesting, to your friend and mine, the man who got beaten by a builder with one testicle, Winston Peters.

Look, it's a thin chance, but who knows? He might yet get his tilt at the crown and deliver on the 500 to 1 shot I wrote about in the early days of the election. After that happened, the odds went out to 1000 to 1 and then they stopped taking your money on that bet altogether.

I mention this only because I'm warming up to apologise to anyone who took my investment advice seriously. I was at a function the other night when George Andrews breezed past and muttered something about me owing him 500 dollars. I take it he put a dollar on. George, sorry to have given you a bum steer, and if anyone else is out a dollar, let me know and I'll see if I can't do something to make amends.

Elsewhere in the betting world, I learned to my surprise this morning that there's been an interesting shift on the odds at I know this because I was giving a talk about the book of that name, and the nice man who gave the word of thanks ran through some of the odds that were being offered on the site.

Last time I had looked, about two months ago, the odds on "Oil shortage precipitates worldwide depression" were still longer for a "Yes" bet than a "No" bet.

Not any more.

The odds for a $100 bet are now:

YES: $127.46
NO: $464.10

What can have happened?

Again, such a blur in the newspapers. And yet not such a blur that somehow I haven't been made aware of virtually every facet of the ill-fated journey of Birgit Brauer.

I add my support to the protestations of Stephen Judd:

Note to editors: if this nosey parkering is on my behalf, please stop. There's no public interest here that isn't wholly prurient.

I understand this is what sells newspapers, but I wish it didn't.