Field Theory by Hadyn Green


I was the only person wearing a tie

I wasn't quite sure what was supposed to happen. But the players did, they all took a knee, so did the referees, so did all the players on the bench and the bench managers. Someone was injured, and it was something I hadn't seen before because it doesn't happen in Wellington. But this was Pirate City, and they roll tough.

The venue demanded a harder skating style. Set into the base of a hill was Skateland. The rain started as we pulled into the carpark and wandered inside. I was the only person wearing a tie.

Skateland's floor is concrete and its roof is low. The MCs are difficult to hear over the referees' whistles and crowd's shouting. The beers, brought around by "wenches" are in cans, and slightly warm.

MC Mic Riot tells me that it used to be an outdoor venue that they just built a roof over. And it does have a feel like that. If this was a rugby field there would be cars parked on the sideline.

The whole feel is tougher and grittier. Like the difference between a sports car and a hotrod or the difference between being punched and being punched with knuckle dusters.

After a tight first half Dead Wreckoning pulled away from Mascara Massacre and ended the three bout series with a clean sweep. Afterwards Wreckoning's manager, Pieces of Hate, was unimpressed with the result. It should never have been that close, Wreckoning should've wiped the floor with them.

Even with the game over and the shield in hand the aggression was still there. Then again after being stuck on the side line maybe Hate was just itching to pop someone. So it wasn't a good time for me to start an argument with her. It was about uniforms and I won't go into it, but just to say that neither of us backed down and in the end we just made the skater in the middle (Schiesse Minelli) feel awkward.

So now this marauding band of no-goodniks are heading to Wellington for the country's first intercity bout: Skate Highway One (puns are as much of a staple of this sport as they are of any other, derby girls are just more blatant).

I've seen the team lists and I'm worried that Auckland are going in with a clear size advantage. I don't know if Wellington is going to have the blockers to cope with the hitting power that Pirate City is bringing down. Richter City's saving grace might just be their speed and agility. It's definitely going to be a good bout and hopefully no one gets seriously hurt.


And congrats to LegBreak who will be tweeting on behalf of our nation on the Guardian website (@Sportzfreak) during the drawing of the FIFA World Cup groups.

I did some "analysis" over at the Dropkicks on this:

Based strictly on current world rankings [the best group for NZ would be] would be in Group A with South Africa (86), Ghana (37), and Slovakia (34).

The worst would be Spain (1), Cameroon (11), and Portugal (5).

I also predicted that one pool would be: Argentina, Japan, Nigeria, and Serbia, if anyone would care to wager a beer on that.

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