There's always that yummy beige that the cricketers used to wear...

Purple could be good. In crepe de chine?

I am afraid I have to veto beige, or footless tights for that matter!

And .. awesome thread! I was biggin' y'all up when I spoke at the Access and Community Broadcasters conference today.

can confirm, and it was great to meet you too russell. also got to meet jane clifton in the afternoon, so a pretty good day all round...

re our first…

Purple could be good. In crepe de chine?

I'm happy to sit on the reserves bench and run up and down the sidelines in my tracksuit every so often, throwing the opposition into…

So leadership is a male domain?
Helen Clark is a man?

Just giggles -…

Rugby World Cup humour:
Q: Did you hear about the new All Blacks bra?
A: it's got great support but no cups.

So let me humbly volunteer to help in some menial role on the…

Perhaps its the people I hang out with, but I have far more difficulty imagining women doing a barbie than I do imagining them playing rugby.

You obviously haven't seen the indomitable Janice and Sue from Caffe Astoria in action then. If they've prepared the menu, no one is entrusted…

I guess its because I've actually seen the rugby thing – worked as a groundsman at Uni Park in Auckland for a while -…

(I think we should all find alligator cowboy boots they just put on sale, too.)

Daleaway, I feel your pain. I tried in vain to get away from my mechanic yesterday. All I wanted to…

Would Coach still be vacant?

Coach? COACH? We don't need no stinking patriarchacal system to bring us down. We'll play by committee, of course.

unless you can work it into a Liz Phair song we don't want any of that...

I realise eyeliner is out, but is it ok if my eyelashes sparkle like gilded grass*?

*Apologies if I got that wrong, googling Liz Phair lyrics at work is apparently not a good idea.

and a thrid person who just drinks and points to the meat every now and again.

That is clearly a job for me.
And you are right Hayden in keeping with the spirit of the occasion, laydeez on the grill, men on the salads and drinks.

Daleaway, we may need…

Due to the fact that I've spent the last 48 hours in hospital, I'm presently only useful for sitting down positions involving a lot…

And just in case you don't know: three is the magic number for BBQrs, One to cook,…

! A serious matter, and unless you can work it into a Liz Phair song we don't want any of that smut thank you very much.

You don't think 'Flower' speaks for itself?

how many more pages till we get to the imaginary aftermatch locker room/shower sequence

After a long (poetic)sequence featuring Dan Carter.....but I digress, this is sport! A serious matter, and unless you can work it into a Liz Phair song we don't want any of that smut thank you very…

and can we please use tongs to turn the steaks so we don't dribble out all the meat juice

That's vile, young lady!

I'm in, I've actually got a pinnie and my own utensils.

Phwoar.

types can all stand around drinking beer and poking burnt steak with a fork.

Now I don't want to come across as some kind of Carlos Spencer metrosexual or anything, but isn't the beer supposed to be martinis, and can we please use tongs to turn the steaks so we…

a thread that has turned into a very camp imaginary women's rugby match in the middle of a giant metaphorical puddle.

how many more pages till we get to the imaginary aftermatch locker room/shower sequence?
Porkys movie – NSFW

And then we could totally do barbeque. Choice.

..awesome, the cheerleaders can make the salads, and us hard rugby-playing types can all stand around drinking beer and poking burnt steak with a fork.

Errr, I'm pretty sure it would hurt to be dragged over hot coals, especially if you were an unwilling participant.

We can find out, after we get the fetters on Daniel Carter.

And then we could totally do barbeque. Choice.

Its like dragging someone over 'hot coals', they resist and resist until then suddenly on reaching the otherside and learn 'it didnt hurt at all'.

Errr, I'm pretty sure it would hurt to be dragged over hot coals, especially if you were an unwilling participant.

And not so sweet girls play Roller Derby

My daughter would LOVE that. I was happy enough with hockey – all the violence of netball AND they gave me a weapon.

But srsly. Girls play netball. A "non-contact" sport. You wanna know how to take out a player with your…

Women do like rugby after all, how sweet.

And not so sweet girls play Roller Derby

BTW – do you think last nights 20/20 story (TV2) on NZ Roller Derby might have been inspired by this NZ Herald story from last May?

Well here is the link for the Philosophers rugby match.

Hope this works.

Greece vrs Germany

Okay, so we need to handicap him in some way. Maybe we could tie his hands behind his back. I hear we have some fetters.

I knew this was going to get out of control with that sound track.

which was hilariously reviewed in the Guardian.

Guardian Books is bloody brilliant. Their Digested Reads unmissably so.

Well according to Tom, that would put Dan Carter in the team. And I'm sure most of the team won't complain about that, for numerous reasons, but some people are going to be…

I think all of the disenfranchised should be eligible for the team, like gurly crybabies

Well according to Tom, that would put Dan Carter in the team. And I'm sure most of the team won't complain about that, for numerous reasons, but some people are going to be saying 'Ring…

The second option please, people who write poetry to order have alot to answer for...

Ae, you're right. Writing poetry to order produces such abominations as the Poet Laureate's "rap" for Prince William's 21st birthday, which was hilariously reviewed in the Guardian.

We are just playing in puddles after all this misery and rugger obsession this week.

Fair enough. I was referring to the cunning of Tze Ming's post, rather than the entertaining comments. Peace out.

Who knew that watching rugby put you on a continuum with wifebeaters, virulent nationalists and people who don't care about Myanmar.

Sure, its a continuum. Of course, we're at this end, and that lot are at the other end...

I think all of the disenfranchised should be eligible for the team, like gurly crybabies and poets and painters and stuff for instance...

We definitely need a poet on the team. Every game we play can have a specially written poem to mark the occasion.

And sometimes, the poetry can…

I think all of the disenfranchised should be eligible for the team, like gurly crybabies and poets and painters and stuff for instance...

Well maybe if you symbolically emasculate yourself (by say, crying in public)and swot up on Liz Phair....

Who knew that watching rugby put you on a continuum with wifebeaters, virulent nationalists and people who don't care about Myanmar.

Hardly, light up. We are just playing in puddles after all this misery and rugger obsession this week.

lets flush out some non-rugby lurkers????? I don't want to be sexist by insisting that they be…

(I love the reclaimation of this thread)

This is the blues for middle-class white girls.

Oh hell yes!

I want all that stupid shit like letters and sodas.

I just found this live performance of Fuck and Run from 1995 on YewChoob and now I'm really really bummed out.

This is the blues for middle-class white girls.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2akK4tYSwY

Now all we need is some cheerleaders... Any volunteers, chaps?

This is New Zealand. Rugby players do their own cheerleading – what else is the haka for?

We practice all our moves and memorise the stupid rules.

(I am a big old nerd about Liz Phair. I could even do this for whitechocolatespaceegg. It's underrated!)

t strikes me that at this point, you lot don't actually need another team in order to spend 90 minutes enjoyably...

That's right, we're very good at playing with ourselves.

10. Ruck and run

Big lolz! I declare Exile in Guyville to be the official soundtrack of the PA System Women's XV.

We get away almost every day with what the boys call rugby.

I'm five foot three and a half, and I'm sticking with it.

A veritable giant!

My mother is four foot eleven and a half. Somehow 148cm just doesn't sound nearly as impressive.

Exile in Girlrugbyville

This whole idea is brilliant. I'm thinking up appropriately modified lyrics... 'It took an 80 minutes out of one day/once we scored a try the other team just went away'. Or for particularly heightened moments: 'we'll play you like a pitbull in a basement'.

You people who…

10. Ruck and run

Some serious spluttering laughter from me. Genius.

all I can think of is Peaches and maybe a bit of Coco Solid.

ahem, re: music

liz phair. "exile in guyville".

that is my 10c.

Don't for the eyeliner – that became trendy for a micro second thanks to Maa Nonu.

Mind you everything might get a bit out of control with that.

That's the point though, right?

Damn straight. But I'll happily sit on the sidelines drinking martinis and shaking my pom poms.

Well that's the pom poms taken care of. We still need to sort out the music and with the direction that this thread is taking (i.e. a tad Friday afternoonish) all I can think…

That sounds like more fun than housework.... Can I come too, next time?

Sure. Bring merc.

And I wanna be the Centre. Because I so obviously AM.

Oh, which reminds me! Kudos to whoever it was who made the Spider Robinson reference back up the thread about four pages.

Sheesh, I just went to a restaurant and discussed gay porn.

That sounds like more fun than housework.... Can I come too, next time?

Where is Jo? She must be being really staunch about not participating in rugger conversations.

Damn straight. But I'll happily sit on the sidelines drinking martinis and shaking my pom poms.

And Heather, you're not 183cm! I'm 180cm!

And umm, women who play rugby probably just, you know, play rugby.....but since we are going down the camp route somewhat can I request some topless cheerleaders with pom poms.
Hayden can definitely be part…

Deborah, you thought of the whole thing, so you get to be whichever…

Would you have a haka to show respect (intimidate the hell out of) the oppostioin?

No, we just stand in front of them with our arms folded saying 'If you don't know what you did I'm not going to tell you' until they lose the will to live.

Oh and you gals can talk about circumcision all you like (crosses legs, winces).

I suggest a rugby team, then go away to vacuum the house, make a batch of chocolate chip oatie biscuits, get some vanilla biscuit dough ready (school gala day coming up), and make the pastry for dinner...

Sheesh, I just went to a restaurant and discussed gay porn.

I can confirm this. Danielle was the person who quite happily accepted detention for 'forgetting' her PE gear every single day in high school. Lesser of two evils I think was her theory.

Heh. Hey, I didn't 'forget' my PE gear every day. Sometimes I lied about having period pain,…

Right. Off to get the kids from school now.

Any volunteers, chaps?

The weather will have to improve heaps before I get my pom poms out.

But I guess when you're in a hole it's best to stop digging.

Fantastic really. I suggest a rugby team, then go away to vacuum the house, make a batch of chocolate chip oatie biscuits, get some vanilla biscuit dough ready (school gala day coming up), and make the pastry for dinner, and come back to find a nearly full team, complete…

I'm not sure about this bottom-slapping business. But I will be captain. Can I call myself cap'n and pretend to be a pirate? Cos that would be quite cool.

Arr, course you can. My brother was in the Pirates Rugby Team, so it's obviously kosher. And it gives us an…

Circumcision.

Done that. Several times, which is odd when I come to think about it. My midwife says anyone who wants that done to their baby should have to hold the freaking scalpel themselves.

Robyn should so totally be our number nine. He's the lippy one who's allowed to backchat the ref and slap the forwards on the bottom.

I'm not sure about this bottom-slapping business. But I will be captain. Can I call myself cap'n and pretend to be a pirate? Cos that…

Problematic: I have the athletic ability of an amoeba

I can confirm this. Danielle was the person who quite happily accepted detention for 'forgetting' her PE gear every single day in high school. Lesser of two evils I think was her theory.

]]> Thu, 11 Oct 2007 14:33:10 +1300 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/yellow-peril-my-black-heart-bleeds/?p=30087#post30087 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/yellow-peril-my-black-heart-bleeds/?p=30087#post30087

There's a list of things women aren't allowed to talk about, and I want to know what else is on it.

Circumcision.

Can't think of much else, though. Perhaps women could have interested-third-party rights on discussing vasectomies, especially if they've been on contraception for fifteen years and had three kids…

But, see, I'm intrigued. There's a…

As for…

You are lucky, Danielle, to have the benefit of a big strong man to tell you what to do/think. If only all women were so blessed.

Publishing it is just an excuse to repeat a common meme, like those (untrue) stories about how a woman over 40 is more likely to be killed by a terrorist than get married. It's careless treatment of serious issue.

Yeah exactly, careless treatment of a serious issue, true or not.…

Danielle – how about Strategy Coodinator or something?

Excellent! Although... what with my tiny, walnut-sized female brain being so occupied with nurturing and scones and hair-ribbons and whatnot, will I be able to handle the pressure? It is a concern. Never mind! I can always ask my hubby to tell…

I'm a flipping expert on tears of disappointment and how hard it can be to choke them back, though. And it's not like boys have different tear ducts to girls.

Anecdotal evidence is too good a word for…

(sorry, never watched a full game of rugby b4, haven't got a clue what each position – i mean "position" – does...)

Anjum – why do you think I use a peudonym?
So I can admit how much I weigh, of course!
High Class Hooker! Then we can yell stuff like "She's going all the way!" when you score!…

You get to be the Daniel Carter one. I think its called Fly Half. Can you kick?

I've got about 8 kilos on you, and a few centimetres, but I'm pretty fast so maybe I could be wing, if Danielle doesn't mind.…

The rugby threads here have been easily the most-trafficked for the month, and Monday was probably our biggest day for the whole of 2007.

I was going to say... that's great, and I'm pleased for you, especially because I know that will up your advertising revenue, and unlike the boofheads…

which is odd because I can't stand a lot of the boff head male culture that come [sic] with it.

Well obviously.
You are a shining light of anti-boffhead male culture.
Awesome.

What? Oh, best go get the scones out of the oven...the menz have got some important…

]]> Thu, 11 Oct 2007 11:47:26 +1300 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/yellow-peril-my-black-heart-bleeds/?p=30003#post30003 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/yellow-peril-my-black-heart-bleeds/?p=30003#post30003

Absolutely. I've often thought that some ominous dub would make for a great lead-up to a big test-match.

This would be an obvious choice.

Men in this country are not allowed to lecture women on childbirth

Male or female, lecturing someone on childbirth just sounds kind of rude. (I've seen women just shut down and go into grrr mode when another woman starts lecturing them on the proper way they should be doing whatever…

I think Tom's heading for the bottom of a maul at the moment.
(I was going to say receiving a rucking, but, well...)

LOL this thread is awesome.

Probably enough for a rugby team!

For sure!

I was quite happy for men to have a men's discussionI was looking forward to hearing what the men here had to say about "the manliness or otherwise of crying in public". Then you went and said this:

so keep your views…

Probably enough for a rugby team!

I think Tom's heading for the bottom of a maul at the moment.
(I was going to say receiving a rucking, but, well...)

I mean, come on – he just told Tze Ming and all the women of Public Address ...

Probably enough for a rugby team!

threats fall into the "Theatre" bucket

What threat? I am confused. Oh, 'your ass is grass'? That was more of a prediction, when I wrote it: I mean, come on – he just told Tze Ming and all the women of Public Address that they aren't allowed to talk about…

Rugby IS an anachronistic macho game. Its a game for men

Um... isn't the New Zealand *women's* rugby team the one that is famous for always winning?

The best thing with cancer is to be positive, right?

Tom.. that mysoginist post will go down in PA History.

Really?

I didn't think what he was saying was mysoginistic, but then as a male it's possible that my gender precludes me from seeing Tom for the Nazi he is.

Lighten up. Do you and Danielle really believe a man can…

There are women out there who give a damn about rugby, the All Blacks, and the men who play the game.

Heh heh .... and then there are men (like me) out there who don't give a damn about rugby, the All Blacks, and the men who play the game.
(Not…

so keep your views on All Blacks crying to yourself. its an issue for us guys to argue over.

One night I went to GPK restaurant on Dominion Road, blissfully ignorant of the big game that had finished at Eden Park just a few blocks away.

Soon the restaurant was…

I'll think you'll find i was shocked at his doing it in public [...] And come 2011, I want us to ram their words back down their supercillious throats.

I can't stand a lot of the boff head male culture that come with it.

I rest my case. God is…

I'll think you'll find i was shocked at his doing it in public, if I were him i would probably sobbd my heart out back in the hotel room when no one was around.…

I would like to know too. There must be some information on this. You would think that between Women's Refuge and the police there would be something a bit more clear cut.

...but it was still picked up internationally.

This after Key making the international stage for a mere gaffe. The world must be hanging out for news, or we really are important. Hard to know.

My experience of the RWC has been mostly positive, apart from the loss that is.

I'm…

Many women became targets of violence as their partners took out their frustrations following the All Blacks' rugby World Cup loss.

Women's refuges say the demand for their services has been since Sunday's defeat. "We've heard from police there has been an increase in domestic violence and they're our biggest…

TV ads they were playing on their big screen through the new speaker system

«shudder»
Best quality badness in NZ stadium: Frank Sinatra and 2-player Playstation on the screen at the first ever one-dayer at the cake tin.
Worst: every Highlanders game. The ABBA and Boney-M tribute bands are almost…

The sounds could be dark and mysterious, and a bit now, just some beats maybe.

Absolutely. I've often thought that some ominous dub would make for a great lead-up to a big test-match.

Worst audio experience at a rugby ground: when the clowns at North Harbour Stadium ran the sound…

Again, I am probably a hippy and you can all mock and scorn me, but in some ways I feel that someone who spends the time to publicly say they're 'amused' when the ABs lose is kind of indirectly being mean to my nice old Grandad.

I've got a Grandad…

Nice enough middle-aged bloke.

Didn't seem at all affected by sitting there playing "Why does love do that to me" twenty times in 90 minutes.

It's only a bloody hot drink you know!

yeah, but a man has to have his passions.

i like my violence kept in controlled, rule-bound conditions, and my coffee short.

Patriotism and music: I wandered past Thomas Bracken's memorial yesterday and remembered my favourite mad caller on Radio Sport on Sunday morning: "We need a new national anthem". Pretty sure she was being ironic, but fair cop, we have to put up with a dreadful dirge.
I should…

Anthems "God save the Queen" & "God defend NZ" (added in 1973)

And you are. Perhaps now isn't the best time to complain at how... oppressive rugby can feel in this country. But that's how it is. I know a more well-adjusted person wouldn't care, but I can't be that person all the time.

Not saying this is you, but there are…

"you'll never be a Kiwi till you love our Watties sauce" ads

Coz of course it's an act of patriotism to like the product of an Irish multinational. Which is in turn more or less the same as a UK product, just with a different label and extra sugar.

Like…

Does anyone know why Christchurch?

I'm fighting my cynicism but fear that the sponsors may have felt they could contain (stage) the arrival easier in Christchurch. Like the spontenaneous haka, paid for I hear, nah just kidding. But hows this for a damning article re NZR(F)U,
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/feature/story.cfm?c_id=1501233&objectid=10468850

if the crema is sweet, and the beans leave a faint aftertaste of chocolate, i just might have to improvise.

It's only a bloody hot drink you know!

According to Sports Radio, there are a couple of hundred people out at Chch airport right now, to welcome the All Blacks back and reassure them that they're not going to get lynched.

Does anyone know why Christchurch? Air NZ flights from non-US places all go into Auckland, at least…

Sorry, RodgerD, I'm pressed for time at the moment.
Would anyone like to take up the challenge of extending Rodger's horizons?

I'm sorry for interrupting you in your busy day of being snide. My horizons are fine; yours appear to bogged down in being defined by things and people you…

Oh, and as a Pratchett fan, can I…

They evoke stereotypes with the plausible deniability of fuzzy animals.

Telecom learned much from the lessons of George Lucas.

That ad could have been produced by the Chinese communist party. Be a goose,…

The sort of thing that gets up my nose is the last round of Hurricanes advertising, which claims its my civic duty to support this manufactured team of professionals.

To take…

It'd be a VW Combi surely?

On a hippie trail, head full of zombie?

Perhaps now isn't the best time to complain at how... oppressive rugby can feel in this country. But that's how it is.

I'm quite interested in this subject. Do you think it's more or less oppressive than it was in, say, the 50s? Because I imagine that in the past,…

the anthem about how blessed we are by God?

No, the New Zealand one – the one grovelling for God's favour.

There are better things we could be doing with the time.

Please feel free to come down from the mountain, oh Emissary of The Lord, and Announce unto us peasants His Will in the Ways of Better Things and What We May Do. We are ill-educated idiots who grave your…

And you are. Perhaps now isn't the best time to complain at how... oppressive rugby can feel in this country. But that's how it is. I know a more well-adjusted person wouldn't care, but I can't be that person all the time.