Wave wildly when this government is given the boot and I'll start using all my senses again.

I'm tempted to keep my eyes shut too but I'll stick to reading only Agatha Christie…

Is this gubmint already at Sarah Palin levels of self-satire?

Sarah P and Da Cool J
Yeah Right... Tui anybody?
And it hasn't gone unnoticed

Kate Wilkinson is Minister of Conservation.

Is this gubmint already at Sarah Palin levels of self-satire?

Says Mr Bedar, "Some Aucklanders may be surprised at the extent of the…

"All your bases belong to us"

"All your base are belong to us." Let's be precise.

The Civilian Deforestation Corps.

This idea could run and run... though there
will be the inevitable Forest Grumps!

Sadly, I don't have anything new to add to the discussion but am genuinely saddened that NZ will repeat the failed policies of Ruth Richardson. The transaction costs will negate any real benefit of this approach, the flood of…

Offers a different perspective. Allows time for productivity that's not counted in GDP- of thoughts, arts, crafts, gardening, families and community work.

I get what you're saying here, but the people I do know who are long term unemployed don't really seem to have as much spare time as most…

I think the most surreal WINZ story comes from my husband, who is a musician. He was on and off the UB for years but now makes a living from it.

SEE!!! That's the problem. Giv'em a taste of the goodlife on the dole an' see what ya get???...
They make…

Combine getting people off the DPB with "surgical mining" techniques.
Issue one shovel and a bucket to each the nation's solo mothers.
Problem solved ;)

Tzk. That's job creation. National is into getting people out of jobs.

the basic assumption is that every single person who comes through the door is trying to rip them off.

That's the culture of disability support services, and increasingly ACC it seems. Spend more money saying no than it would cost to say yes.

I was constantly being sent multiple copies of letters with contradictory messages

Man, you never want to be payer of child support then. I have received three different letters on the same day, all saying "because your circumstances have changed, your child support payments have changed". None of them were…

I was constantly being sent multiple copies of letters with contradictory messages

Still get this- and some of the 'feeling like a criminal'- just in relation to an after-school-programme subsidy. But have also dealt with good, friendly helpful people at WINZ, too.
And another vote for not…

I spent about 1 or 2 months on the dole after I left university and was made to feel like a criminal.

From what I've seen through friends, there doesn't appear to have been any kind of culture change. It's an adversarial system: the basic assumption is that every single…

As an aside- In the last year I've become self-employed and have been a frequent user of both the IRD website and helplines. They…

been on both Sickness and Invalids' benefits, and I know what work-testing will do – the stress will make people sicker

My husband and I survived on family handouts and landlordly goodwill for 16 weeks just after we got married while we fought the system to be on the married…

And I'd like to ditto Lucy Stewart's comment...

(1, 2)

"People with advanced Parkinson's Disease or Multiple Sclerosis, with severe mental illness, or awaiting open heart surgery have been registered as fit to work, according to the report by the Citizens Advice Bureau."

Um, yes. I constantly need to be put up to things. That's why Megan is such a bad influence on me.

Hey! No fair maligning me like that when I'm not here to defend myself. And remind you that I do no influencing. I will concede to the slightly lesser…

Because the latter is merely a subset of the former?

As long as he sticks to ACT supporters' brains, we're good.

The thing about benefits is: it's a bit like the court system. We accept – or I think we *should* accept – that the standard of reasonable doubt falls…

Some good news in amongst the doom. Can-this-Brain-Eating-Zombie-get-more-fans-than-Roger-Douglas in Facebook is only a few fans away now.

I don't join that group because it's such an unsporting comparison...

Because the latter is merely a subset of the former?

Some good news in amongst the doom. Can-this-Brain-Eating-Zombie-get-more-fans-than-Roger-Douglas in Facebook is only a few fans away now.

I don't join that group because it's such an unsporting comparison. Can smallpox get more fans than Roger Douglas? Now that would be a race worth watching.

Lately when reading Stuff I have to double-check that I haven't gone to The Onion by mistake.

I don't have that problem. The Onion could never come up with something as cuttingly satirical of life in the 21st century as this news story from today's Stuff.

Tonight the news that ECan's elected councillors have been sacked, and democracy will be reinstated in 2013...if we're lucky, and good.

Great piece, Emma, but I get this chilly feeling that satire is…

Labour leader Phil Goff said it was appropriate Mr Heatley had resigned and did not think he should be returned quickly or it would look like "a very temporary sanction"........
"I think the position went…

I'd love to... but where are the juvenile jokes about us having breakfast together the first time around? Is everyone feeling okay today?

I think we all can guess how Emma likes her eggs in the morning.
:-)

In between mining, Derty Sesh and Paula Bennett it's been a bit of a sobering day on the ole PA system...

you forgot the cricket sigh

You totally deserve it. We really must have breakfast together again in future.

I'd love to... but where are the juvenile jokes about us having breakfast together the first time around? Is everyone feeling okay today?

With just a little luck Emma's predictions will remain fiction, maybe. With a little luck New Zealanders will remember this year when it comes time to vote again.

Well, Bennett just said it was the conservative start.

I know what you mean, I need my 20 hours in bed just to cope with the drinking.

Drinking! Drinking! Wait, I'm not going down that road, there's a shoebox in the middle of it.

I'm going to quietly bookmark this page for future pick-me-up purposes.

You totally deserve it.…

My designated doctor visits would pretty much reduce me to sixteen hours a day in bed again for a couple of weeks just from sheer stress.

I know what you mean, I need my 20 hours in bed just to cope with the drinking.
;-)

New Zillunders

Some of us, in our more unguarded moments, actually talk like that, thank you very much.

There was some old guy in Tauranga saying this would bring him out of retirement just this morning. Nice suit, too."

LOL.

What benefit can they possibly believe comes from treating people like criminals?

What frustrates me is that I'd be in favour of welfare reform, particularly in the area…

Red meat for "hard-working mainstream" New Zillunders too misinformed to realise who's actually dicking them over.

Or, in what might be the year's most infamous political quote:

Social Development Minister Paula Bennett says she thinks it is a discrimination that most New Zealanders will see as fair and reasonable.

Along…

What benefit can they possibly believe comes from treating people like criminals?

Red meat for "hard-working mainstream" New Zillunders too misinformed to realise who's actually dicking them over.

Those women on the DPB have children – how are those children going to eat if their benefit is halved because their mothers can't get non-existent jobs?

Well, that's their fault for being born to such lazy whores, etc.

This is my way of dealing with my over-powering anger. I…

I constantly need to be put up to things

I though we had agreed on that cover story. I should have appended a :)

Oh, and Gio's piece is also magnificent. Two thumbs up.

As far as Emma's post goes, marvellous as it is, I think I'm too angry to laugh.

"The Dream Is Over"

and don’t think we won’t have private detectives parked outside their houses watching

Well with the 100,000 they took off the sickness benefit and trained for security, it'll be no problemo watching all the lazy little fuckers taking extended lunch breaks either! Plus, those mobility scooters better be registered and…

Why, do you think it's a joke?

A little pre-posting googling, just in case I'd been accidentally a bit accurate, revealed that this was seriously considered in Australia in 2004. Australia. We practically have to do it.

Did Haywood put you up to this?

Why, do you think it's a joke?

After observing that elderly people are treated very generously in New Zealand – something that obviously needs to be put a stop to – the first 2025 Taskforce report commissioned by our esteemed government and released…

Did Haywood put you up to this?

Um, yes. I constantly need to be put up to things. That's why Megan is such a bad influence on me.

"Plus, plus! Working is good for you! It'll keep 'em sharp, stop 'em getting all depressed and ill and shit..."

I really hope someone gets her to say "Work will set you free.".