The scary thing for me was my Milk Run for Mr Miller Upper Riccarton/Wigram/Hornby/Socburn and running on Main South Rd

My milk run went through a fair chunk of Poets' corner here in Hamilton. That's where I learned that the cops actually do that chalk outline thing for some corpses…

I can remember being at a party in Epsom 30 years ago when the boot boys turned up outside and half the partgoers were suddenly looking for places to hide their knives before the cops came. Was quite a suprise to me that anyone even had a knife!

Probably went…

It's less paranoid than taking the view that there's a paedophile hiding around every corner and behind every bush, which seems to be where the media's trying to push things.

Indeed, this kind of pisses me off, because it does get to levels where people aren't letting their kids get…

I've made far-reaching decisions to avoid one or two people I'd never trust around kids. And it's still hard to do, without feeling like maybe you're paranoid.

It's less paranoid than taking the view that there's a paedophile hiding around every corner and behind every bush, which seems to be…

This post has been resonating in my head as we have seen our 16yr old daughter off to her first "big partay"…

Until now, it was just you and Danielle.

Sigh. Am I that predictable? :)

(The 'Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman' clip belongs to that great 'going out into the desert to pose meaningfully in chaps or chaps-influenced pants' school of music videos, doesn't it?)

I knew there was…

The scary thing…

Since we're dancing like Tze Ming is watching

.. and taking photos with her ever-present camera, no doubt. Smile. :)

connecting with their snouts

Plus, in Ponsonberry the dog-lovers would have crucified him..

Until now, it was just you and Danielle.

Sigh. Am I that predictable? :)

(The 'Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman' clip belongs to that great 'going out into the desert to pose meaningfully in chaps or chaps-influenced pants' school of music videos, doesn't it?)

A bit OT but since Rob H brought it up...did the Postie Underworld never teach you about bike pumps?

We didn't have cycles at the time. Walked it...on days I had lectures I used to run. 12kms, with a load on. Wish I was that fit again...

My son has good male role models and likes quiet nerdy activities. My brothers think he's a jessie and have tried several times to give him socket sets and stuff in the hope that this will tough him up a bit.

Until I had children I would never have believedf…

My son has good male role models and likes quiet nerdy activities. My brothers think he's a jessie and have tried several times to give him socket sets and stuff in the hope that this will tough him up a bit.

My older boy is quite similar and seems to…

It's hard to gauge whether that has been/is happening to a greater extent now. My boys and their friends seem more comfortable with their emotions & expressing them, but I don't get to mix with many other young men, so i dunno whether it's just their own group?

Indeed, I find…

what we need is a new generation of sissy men for whom it is permissible to go to bed with a tub of ice-cream and cry when your girlfriend dumps you.

Indeed. It's hard to gauge whether that has been/is happening to a greater extent now. My boys and their…

am I the only one who read the above and thought of a Britney Spears song?

Until now, it was just you and Danielle. Until now.

Of course. A young woman. Not technically a child.

Without wishing to unnecessarily divert this excellent discussion of a great piece of autobiographical writing, am I the only one who read the above and thought of a Britney Spears song?

Obviously memory is a fallible thing, and I shall try to answer these questions with as much honesty and as little super-imposed hindsight as I can.

I believe the main reason I didn't tell anyone was that…

just wondering if there is more that can be said and understood here on the subject of young men, young women, and casual threats (and irreversible acts) of violence.

Animal Kingdom?Survival of the fittest?Animals often remove the weak . Humans seem pretty good at all this as well. Although not…

Since we're dancing like Tze Ming is watching, can I bring the feminism, a little bit? I'm trying to imagine the scenario with the genders reversed, and I just can't. Your story reminds me…

Older generations, yea. One great grandfather of mine ran away…

I'm not a great believer in things being they way they are just because that's how they have always been.

I tend to think of that mindset (traditional = good) as being closely related to the "natural = good" mindset, and equally as fallacious. You also need to watch out…

I don't know that comparing us to them is entirely useful, Giovanni. Simply because they lived somewhat different lives.

Oh, I agree, completely. Her oldest sister was twelve when her mother died and she brought up five younger siblings. Who all lived, which in those days was extraordinary. Later my…

your Nanna's photo was choice Giovanni

Thank you (and Kerry), I am very fond of it. I spent an inordinate number of years at university and convinced them to let me do a PhD which was really an elaborate ruse to put that photo in a book.

The next one…

What I do – and am- is: these are the family values, within these I will support you wholly.

My Dad was and still is a bit like that although the molotov thing....;) but I think , his family being in and around the States made him alone whereas my…

I've now watched my sibs' children grow to adulthood, and loved – & wept – over what they've become. Now, there's the greatgrands...I dont get anxious (I'd be a continually quavering mess otherwise) and I dont get prescriptive (beacause I'm not…

Because I sit on them.

Wont somebody please think of the children ;)
If it's any consolation Jackie, I am sure you are the aunty that alot of us had growing up, and it doesn't make you the ogre. I think the family contributes many ideas to kids and that's…

I have had lots of confrontationy things with dogs, having been a postie in Ponsonby for two years back in the 1980s.

One thing I learned is most dogs…

He's the blogger that keeps on giving.

My favourites were his hoax letters...the series to the Klu Klux Klan about whether Australians are white or not which ended in him demanding "Well if I can't lynch Australians, who CAN I lynch....I reckin y'all got INFILTRATED BY LIBRULS'...

Or the series…

I think I was just so incensed/surprised at my space being invaded that I spoke with enough authority to fend him off.

That's the kind of story they tell in self-defence classes. Having the guts to stand up for yourself is halfway to winning a confrontation. It's also halfway to…

My best friend at high school lived near the school – her house backed onto a reserve and had a back gate. One school morning, we each sneakily phoned the school saying the other one was sick, then trotted out…

More fun.

Yeah, I noticed that. Not the smart end of the sixteen year old spectrum, I would say.

That if i ran, I would be kinda irresistible, like a bunny target.

I had to do that once, aged about 18, with a large, unrestrained, unaccompanied and aggressive dog. Aggressive in all mouth no trousers sort of way, not a get off my patch NOW sort of way, I…

Most of us live through the time when we have the faculties of adults directed by the common sense of a P-addled baboon, but not everyone.

We joke about locking the daughter up until she's 30, but I won't be doing that. I'm going to worry…

I was too totally freaked to think that coherently.

Yes, I was thinking more of the crazy trucker rather than the scared shitless young person on the side of the road.

As in 'how do you do something that stupid and think of it as just a joke'?

My instincts told me to stay still and look him in the eye. That if i ran, I…

I was too totally freaked to think that coherently.

and it's te 70's.(no cellphone on side of road)
After a few incidents myself, I came up with a master plan, always hitch with a friend and have a "get out" code with said friend to put into action quick getoutta…

hullo, truck, licence plate, police, sirens, "sir did you fire a shotgun at a young woman at the side of the road?"

I was too totally freaked to think that coherently. As soon as he took off, my legs turned to jelly and I fell over! Blubbing like a baby.…

He let off a few shots, just over my head, laughed maniacally and drove away...

This thread is asking for Russell to start up a 'really fucked up things that happened to me when I was young' topic of the month.

Apart from anything else, hullo, truck, licence plate, police,…

People are often as…

I was walking along a main highway beside the sea – glorious day, not much traffic. A truck came the opposite way and pulled over.…

this photo of my gran, circa 1920.

She's gorgeous, Giovanni. My Danish grandmother got sent out here in early 1900s to marry grandfather – older friend of father – after she blotted her copybook back home, she must have been quite young, 20 tops. She knew no-one in nz at…

On the other hand my parents cohort started work in their early teans whilst one of my early ancestors left home at 6!! To pack cod on a ship in the Iceland seas.

I am so going to use that line with my just-turned-seven-years-old son next time he misbehaves. (It'll…

There are a lot of teenagers who live independently of their families either because they choose to, or because they have to. I accept that. I just wish that they didn't have to. That you hadn' t had to.

I don't know, though, if thinking of those teenagers who are…

stuck on a farm

Woolshed parties rocked. Blue Monday amidst the smell of lanolin and the awkward circling o th rural teens. Aaah.

Would you like an MA with that?

I owe it all to Henry Root's World Of Knowledge.

I enquired about signal inhibitors for the home today, blank all cellphone signals from any given time (say 10pm on a week night).

Seems such a thing doesn't exist.

They do exist, they just aren't legal. Its against the rules to interfere with a lawfully transmitted radio signal.

The movie…

Mateship, in that sense of pure loyalty that transcends the law and heterosexual ties, goes back to Sumerian epic, Gilgamesh and Enkidu. It is the stuff of epic poetry.

Yeah... but wouldn't suggest any mate work out their frustrations the way Achillies did in The Illiad-- desecrating the corpse of…

The essence of heroic epic is when two loyalty directives conflict (eg family vengeance vs mateship, love of a woman vs mateship) such that honour cannot be satisfied.

Bravo, Stephen. Would you like an MA with that?

The whole staunch New Zealand 'mateship' thing, for all its faults (and there are indeed many) certainly has some upsides, and wouldn't have survived as a social institution if it didn't have something to commend it.

Yeah, mateship intrigues me in its ambiguousness, especially as it ties into the whole…

I'm sure signal inhibitors do exist. I remember reading about them in the UK. Some newspaper imported one (possibly from Japan...?)…

I enquired about signal inhibitors for the home today, blank all cellphone signals from…

Thank you, David. There's something very weird in feeling that you'll sound simultaneously hysterical AND banal.

Never banal, Emma; and hysterical only in the sense that I laugh out loud 'cos u so funny.

First of all "I couldn't find a phone" has been replaced by "I forgot to charge it", probably for about the same levels of truthiness as before.

Secondly are they constantly texting each other? of course,…

Mr Catfish sounds a remarkable teenager who was able to put looking after a mate ahead of hormones. Not unheard of, but still admirable.

The whole staunch New Zealand 'mateship' thing, for all its faults (and there are indeed many) certainly has some upsides, and wouldn't have survived as a…

I wanted to be out there, fucking shit up, but it was hard when I was stuck on a farm just outside of Hammo.

I believe one of my mother's consolations was that I never found myself on the methodone program, unlike my cousins who lived in Hamilton. That whole…

I wanted to be out there, fucking shit up, but it was hard when I was stuck on a farm just outside of Hammo.

No crossbows, though.

I extract the salient fact from this story, which is that a guy who'll do that for a friend isn’t going to have sex with me.

Hmm. Maybe not the right conclusion. Mr Catfish sounds a remarkable teenager who was able to put looking after a mate ahead of hormones.…

You'd hope so. Otherwise it would have been kinda spooky.

Aisle 13... where the cleaners fear to tread.

Hmmm, great story Emma but by all that's holy makes me glad I had three sons who were not into that sort of thing

Crossbows?

Girls?

Sorry.

Do you know what happened to the boyfriend?

No, I don't. I did stay in touch with that group for several months after…

Hmmm, great story Emma but by all that's holy makes me glad I had three sons who were not into that sort of thing

Crossbows?

But you got through it and don't seem to be damaged by your experiences
It often wonder about risk taking by teanage girls, it seems quite…

You know who else took P?

After seeing the Listener cover, I knew it was only a matter of time before you used that line Tom. :)

We had homebake, that I remember. It had a pretty bad rep with us though, and was regarded as largely being for idiots.

agreed.

and oddly enough, so was crystal meth.

how would your story have finished in today's P fueled world?

You know who else took P?

by the time you're parenting teenagers you can no longer remember what it's like to be a teenager. Because otherwise it's just too bloody traumatic.

Reminds me of an LCD Soundsystem song:

Sound…

Yes, and it compels me to ask: did you not have heroin in New Zealand?

There's a statute of limitations or something on this shit, right? We had homebake, that I remember. It had a pretty bad rep with us though, and was regarded as largely being for idiots.

If we'd had it to hand, that wouldn't necessarily have meant choosing to use it.

Yes, and it compels me to ask: did you not have heroin in New Zealand? It was pretty prevalent back home and I couldn't think of anything more destructive – perhaps P is it, I…

Good on you for getting through it, but is (your story) not also a good reason to let kids be kids and not grow up too fast?

Hey John. My kids are starting to get to this age, and I still think my mother's policy of pretty much letting me…

I wonder how kids deal with that these days.

"Sorry mum, I left my mobile at home." Even though you know it's never less than 6 inches from their hands.

Or even better – they do leave their phone at home & when they need to ask for something, txt you…

That's a downside, surely? 'Sorry, mum, I couldn't get to a phone' was my absolute favourite line between the ages of 15 and 18.

Oh dear. One should always ring one's parents, from the first available phone, early in the evening. This buys you hours of drinking out at the…

also why I put "can" into italics, "can" don't mean "will".

Yes, but surely if you know your child has a cellphone that means an expectation that they will contact you or that you will be able to contact them. I wonder how kids deal with that these days.

That's a downside, surely?

That was from my point of view – also why I put "can" into italics, "can" don't mean "will".

The upside is that they can be in constant contact with their parents too.

That's a downside, surely? 'Sorry, mum, I couldn't get to a phone' was my absolute favourite line between the ages of 15 and 18.

My partner and I have this theory that human beings are designed…

A mate of mine I went to Uni with got to talking about her teenage sexual experiences. WOW. She and her friend were 11-12 years old and giving their 16-18 yr old boyfriends handjobs. I was .. well .. stunned. She didn't…

Teens are now in constant contact with each other, day & night, with all that entails – comfort, friendship, bullying & threats. The upside is…

by the time you're parenting teenagers you can no longer remember what it's like to be a teenager

I don't know about that, but I think you don't necessarily know any better how to deal with things.

teaches me how to use a butterfly knife andplay Strip Poleconomy (not at the same time).

Damn Damn DAMN.

'Cos I think it could be a really intriguing combo.

I have solemnly pledged to myself that when my kids go through teenagehood I shall refrain in any way possible from giving them the impression that I know what they're going through

My partner and I have this theory that human beings are designed so that by the time you're…

I have solemnly pledged to myself that when my kids go through teenagehood I shall refrain in any way possible from giving them the impression that I know what they're going through, and that anyhow it's just a phase. Hell, life is just a phase.…