Oh honey, remember what happened the last time we counted?

You had to go out and improve your score?

Oh honey, remember what happened the last time we counted?

We ran out of fingers and toes?

Every man, woman and child (we need to get them before they can form their own opinions) would be required to have at least one same sex husband/wife.

You know, I could seriously do with another mother/wife in this house right now.

I was going to do some creative editing…

Or possibly you’re under- (or over-) estimating the proportion of the population I’ve drunk with.

I was going to do some creative editing on that sentence...basically replacing one word, but that was your last column...

I see, the remainder of the human population of this planet are opinion columnists?

Yes, Peter. That's exactly what I meant. Or possibly you're under- (or over-) estimating the proportion of the population I've drunk with.

I see, the remainder of the human population of this planet are opinion columnists?

http://publicaddress.net/hardnews/what-about-that-welfare-working-group-then/

I imagine someone may start a new thread here for the topic

Yeah, sorry Emma, didn’t mean to threadjack, just can’t believe that social policy might be written in that same punitive factless rage….

These are the people still spouting:
“If changes were not made, the 356,000 working-age adults on a benefit would eventually cost the country $50 billion.”

Where 'people' means supposedly-trained journalists. What's going to stop these pricks passing on the lies?

You could always focus your rage and turn it into a submission. You have time until December 24th.

Good advice in many situations; but in this case I do wonder if rational action is pointless. These are the people still spouting:

“If changes were not made, the 356,000 working-age adults…

Hmmm. How much rage can I sustain over Facebook, Twitter, email *and* PAS at once? Lessee...

You could always focus your rage and turn it into a submission. You have time until December 24th.

Whereas if we allow gay men to be bound to their partners... something something.

Perhaps that was where the idea of imprisoning gays for being gay came from.

Do op-ed columnists dream of being allowed on a Government Working Group? They might as well be.

Hmmm. How much rage can I sustain over Facebook, Twitter, email *and* PAS at once? Lessee...

[pause for tallying]

.... it appears to be a practically infinite amount.

GRAR!

More importantly, collective nouns can't sue for defamation.

They can't take collective action? Oh, duh, yes, true, then they would be verbs.

Men and women tend to have different needs and priorities when they enter a mature sexual relationship.

Most men are not naturally disposed to be monogamous, for example. One of the purposes of marriage is…

Toilet paper is too good a use for that section of the paper apparently.

I wouldn't soil my backside with it.

Better yet: become a graduate science student. Undergraduates volunteer for minionship. If you play it right, you will never wash another dish.

(Okay, you will, but it will be many fewer dishes than you would have washed without minions.)

I once got a post-doc to help move a sofa. Does…

That's great stuff. An argument against gay marriage on the premise that if we continue to stop gays marrying, they're more likely to marry women and produce children.

Depressingly, it's a fairly standard do down the fags line of argument. I don't know what's worse about that line: the middle…

That was a reference to an opinion column in The Australian about the Australian Greens:

That's great stuff. An argument against gay marriage on the premise that if we continue to stop gays marrying, they're more likely to marry women and produce children.

Toilet paper is too good a use…

At the weekend the Territory's ALP conference passed a motion supporting changes to the Commonwealth Marriage Act.

While the vote is not binding it…

Er, Emma? The Greens don't have a policy on supporting same-sex marriage proper.

The policy says:

We support the extension of all legal partnership arrangements and rights to same-sex couples

Yes, it doesn't explicitly say "Same Sex Marriage", but you can hardly extend "all legal partnership arrangements" without serious consideration…

Collective nouns don't have feelings.

More importantly, collective nouns can't sue for defamation.

But then you'll be a graduate science student, by definition a minion for your supervisor.

Of course. Undergraduate minions are practice for when you can have your own, graduate student minions. But you've got to start somewhere.

(I described my undergraduate as a minion to a potential new lab undergraduate…

Among the reasons the Greens are so keen on same-sex marriage is that they want to reduce the…

In your up-coming followup post, entitled How to Succesfully Internalise the Opinion Column Opinions, don't forget to include a section on using talkback to reinforce even the most narrow-minded rhetoric.

Thanks for that. I've never, ever fudged a stat (or, more precisely, not been arsed to fact check properly hard on a deadline) — what kind of degenerate Muppet would do that. :)

Yeah, I mean, there's no WAY I'm currently considering simplifying some history to support a point...

Do…

(Channeling Homer J Simpson in a more classy oeuvre...)

Better yet: become a graduate science student.

But then you'll be a graduate science student, by definition a minion for your supervisor.

Briscoes has regular sales on minions, check your local paper.

Better yet: become a graduate science student. Undergraduates volunteer for minionship. If you play it right, you will never wash another dish.

(Okay, you will, but it will be many fewer dishes than you would have washed without minions.)

They’re groups. Collective nouns don’t have feelings.

I never anthropomorphise collective nouns; they hate it.

Just make shit up: that’s your job.

Where can I get an application? Does the job come with medical insurance? What about minions? Can I have a minion to treat inappropriately in a public forum?

Angry of Oranga Heights.