You need to choose a PAer that you imagine to be the cutest and request a virtual sponge bath.

The presence of apostrophes and hyphens in your post is very cheering.

I can't make you stop sounding like Peter Sledmere in my head

I was going to say..

I've just used this thread to push myself through a bout of near-homicide, The pain drove me back in on Sunday (blood in my cerebro-spinal fluid) and I'm…

It’s good to hear they were testing to ensure the appropriate bits of your brain were working. I hope the inappropriate bits are doing just as well :).

Lot's…

On matters medical, my two grandsons arrived a month early after a helicopter flight down from Alex last night

Congrats!

Last time I felt compelled to assure people I wasn't a zombie, the response I got was "sure, that's just what a zombie would want us to think..."

Surely they could tell you weren't a zombie from the fact that your statement consisted of more than "hhhnhhhh.... hnnnhhh.... BRAAAAAIINNSSSSS...."

unless I do it during Buffy when I should barely have to move.

There's no African masks in your house, is there?

I think you should clear up that you are not, in point a fact, a zombie BEFORE you go home for the weekend

One of the first things we did on moving into our 'new' house was check it for zombie attack logistics. Almost every single room has its own…

The site of my head freaked out my daughter last night, which means I must be looking pretty scary

Didn't you say she'd make a great zombie hunter?

I do still look like a 1950s zombie, though

I think you should clear up that you are not, in point a…

The site of my head freaked out my daughter last night,

Why – did you have it tucked under your arm?

No, I'm happy you're sounding great notwithstanding. And I do recall being amused at my mother being anxious about my brain damage on the evidence of an uncharacteristic spelling…

Trying not to use the voice of Anthony Hopkins.

Hospital food. *shudder* Fava beans and not a drop of chianti (nice or otherwise) in sight.

The site of my head freaked out my daughter last night, which means I must be looking pretty scary.

Heh... it's when she starts uploading photos to the internet and charging friends to come and look at the Elephant Mummy that you need to worry. Or applaud her initiative in…

Best wishes for a swift recovery Emma. And to the children too who must be just a wee bit anxious.

Hi Emma, are they looking after you?

Ward rounds have just been through. Staff are excellent. Have just been given permission to wash my hair which sounds like heaven,

My face is quite swollen today, like not quite all the insides of my skull still fit on the inside any…

Hey, it's me

That's all I needed to hear, really.

Yay to the power of a zillion.

I surely hope so! I'm wondering if Karl can muster up a Majel Barrett for me? (Perhaps a Nurse Chapel?)

Oh look at you, grabbing all the good voices for yourself.

She had multiple sub-arachnoid haemorages,

why am I picturing little spiders running around the place?

I am absolutely DELIGHTED to see you here hon. I'm hoping that all the inappropriate as well as the appropriate bits of your brain are healing well.

I had one of those too. I put it down to "that must have been one of the surgeon's mistakes"

She had multiple sub-arachnoid haemorages, I think, but she did manage to speak five languages and still directly insult me in two I could understand. There's something about having had…

I've also been moved away from 'shouts 23 hours a day' woman,

I had one of those too. I put it down to "that must have been one of the surgeon's mistakes"

I do still look like a 1950s zombie, though.

Coool.
Can you still hear my husky french accent…

I can't remember: are we still doing this in funny voices?

I surely hope so! I'm wondering if Karl can muster up a Majel Barrett for me? (Perhaps a Nurse Chapel?)

I also reckon with a purple frock coat and a monocle that you're a shoe-in for the next Dr…

I can't remember: are we still doing this in funny voices?

I do still look like a 1950s zombie, though.

Though they are always the best ones. Congrats on the move, the consciousness and the mobility!

Probably time to buy her that monocle she's always wanted.

Yay for modern western socialised medicine.

I think the monocle would go smashingly with that amazing red coat from a few threads back.

(I'll try not to give you all funny voices).

I'll have worry-wort Charlotte from A Room with a View, in her Dame Maggie Smith incarnation.

@Raymond

On matters medical, my two grandsons arrived a month early after a helicopter flight down from Alex last night

Why, congratulations! New born twins…

But seriously, thanks for passing on the good news Karl. You don't…

She cannot wear her glasses at the moment, due to the bandages on her head

Probably time to buy her that monocle she's always wanted.

Yay for modern western socialised medicine.

On matters medical, my two grandsons arrived…

Her brain appears to be fine

Yay!
But will she be able to play the violin?

(I'll try not to give you all funny voices).

Could I have Karl Malden? I always wanted to sound like Karl Malden.

but I for one am just happy she's not blind/dead/vegitablized.

F'ing oath.

(I'll try not to give you all funny voices).

German weightlifter for me, pls.

but I for one am just happy she's not blind/dead/vegitablized.

Yeah that 's what my man did for 5 weeks, (coma time, I suspect he still wonders. ;). Emma seems to have an inner strength that I believe was obvious to Adric from the get go and death was inevitable…

How is the eye sight?

As far as I can tell, her eyesight is at least as good as it was before. There was a good chance (10-20%) that the tumor shared the same blood vessel as the optic nerve, and if it did then she would loose all sight…

If you're really lucky it'll be Emma that makes the next post, and then you can hear it all first hand.

Hi Karl, as long as it takes is fine by me but appreciate the updates. I bet you are tired too. Get some sleep man and you can tell…

Emma status: slow going

Emma's still quite weak and nauseous, and is not well enough to play on the interwebs today, maybe tomorrow the kind nurses will let her out to play with all you nice guys and girls.

Her brain appears to…

Well, that was sort of the problem in the first place...

Ah yes. Good point. I will flip Adric the double bird instead.

I was cowardly waiting for Jackie to post so I could write: "what she said". Will be hanging out for updates.

Me too.... and then I read to the end of the thread and discover all PAS's combined arohanui might just have helped. Warm-feelings-all-over.

So glad you seem on the…

to make sure all the appropriate bits of her brain are still working

I'm an admirer of the many inappropriate bits of Emma's brain, and hope they remain fully functional as well.

Speedy recovery, Emma.

all the appropriate bits of her brain are still working

... but I guess that all of us are. The elephant in the room, maybe. I'm scared about it, for Emma and for her beloved partner and children. It's a hell of a thing…

She gets to be woken up every hour and tested to make sure all the appropriate bits of her brain are still working, so she's pretty knackered.

Funny, I skimmed through that a bit hastily and read it as " woken up every hour and teased to make sure all…

In your *face*, Adric!

Well, that was sort of the problem in the first place...

Wayne (one of the surgeons) tells us it has been a successful operation

Really happy to hear that.

Emma's out of surgery, and will be spending the next 24 hours under constant supervision (as is normal after this type of surgery). She gets to be woken up every hour and tested to make sure all the appropriate bits of…

hit them as hard as you can (even while being unconscious). Get them to promise No Staples ahead of time.
Not sure if they still do it but they're a bastard of a thing. Just trust me on that one.

My Dad got the nurse to save my staples and I…

Take the drugs, Emma. Take them and run with them (and remember to share: partners need a bit of help too)!

There was some small compensation in having a partner who got the post-op painkillers but didn't take them. It can be useful to have something more effective than Panadol.…

Take the drugs, Emma. Take them and run with them (and remember to share: partners need a bit of help too)!

And if any bastard comes near you with a staple gun…

btw, tramadol can be your friend, as someone else said, but it can also be your dissociating, boomy-eared pain in the ass. that said, i'm not sure that there are so many options.

With sort of procedure Emma is having is that there is usually only mild post op discomfort,…

I'm a fan of morphine on a you-controlled drip. Demand it.

And can someone post any updates for those of us who aren't Twits or Tweeters or whatever it is?

btw, tramadol can be your friend, as someone else said, but…

My wife did that for her haemangeoblastoma (aka The Little Bastard) and not only did she look great but she didn't have that crappy "I've just had my skull opened up (and not in a good way) and now can't wash my hair" thing…

This informed consent stuff goes way too far, I reckon

If on the other hand you want to go further, there is an internet site that teaches children how to do brain surgery as well as hip and knee replacement. It's my 8 yo boy's favourite!

Edheads surgery

Good luck…

This informed consent stuff goes way too far, I reckon. They should just tell you what their intention is, give you the relative risks and consequences, and then if you'd really love to hear all about the butchery that's involved you could, you know, ask them

Yeah. I'm a Mac…

Best of luck, Emma, and may I second the remarks about Chch public – all my experiences of it have made me feel very warm and fuzzy about our healthcare system.

Yep.

But, as the other Megan said, no one is better equipped to cope than you.

I recall that having a surgeon tell me in lurid detail just exactly how he was going to remove one of my testicles and have someone slice it into little pieces wasn't so much "informing my consent" as "psychological torture."

Apparently it's worse in the US because of the risk…

This informed consent stuff goes way too far, I reckon. They should just tell you what their intention is, give you the relative risks and consequences, and then if you'd really love to hear all about the butchery that's involved you could, you know,…

Get a treasure map tattooed on your scalp. Then let the hair grow back afterwards.

Well that sounds like a whole lot of fun, after getting her head split with skull full metal jacket to follow, not!.
Emma may be the bravest person in Russell's lounge at te moment but…

*been around in Japan & very probably USA for at least2 decades-

and because you are a total hero you will not only come out of this with better sight than before, but hopefully while being operated on you will divine the recipe for the perfect…

You could get a tattoo under your hair!

This would be excellent. Take the chance to do this. And you…

Islander, 'they' have black light tattoos that only show under UV – handy for people who only want them to show when they're out clubbing. The ink is more reactive than normal tattoo…

re tattoos: I secretly want one that can only be seen under certain lights
(harvest moons, poroporotitiwai, glow-worms, candles – I've invented a race of people who specialise in these, but – somehow the tech hasnt quite caught up…

Best of.

We'll be thinking of you — and hanging on that first post-surgical tweet ...

Pish! We want photos. All the very best, Emma.

I hope you get to keep Adric in a specimen jar. On top of your mantelpiece. As a talking point.