Public Address | Cafe | Up Front: Hitting That https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/ en-us Copyright (c) 2026 Public Address Euan Mason https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=255539#post255539 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=255539#post255539 Yes, you are right, of course. Most of those haven't been issues for me. A good friend recently revealed how she'd had to leave home at 17 and hasn't been spoken to by her Dad since cos he can't handle his daughter being gay. She's a strong woman.

Take care,…

]]> Mon, 16 Apr 2012 14:50:37 +1200 Emma Hart https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=255367#post255367 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=255367#post255367 OK, I admit it. I'm a heterosexual male who values monogamy. Statistically, I would guess I'm one of the privileged, although it doesn't always feel like that.

Euan, I don't want to come down on your arse too hard (so to speak) but I suspect that might be because you…

]]> Fri, 13 Apr 2012 15:37:00 +1200 Euan Mason https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=255354#post255354 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=255354#post255354 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 13:44:26 +1200 Harrismint https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253617#post253617 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253617#post253617 Sat, 31 Mar 2012 13:56:34 +1300 nzlemming https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253608#post253608 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253608#post253608 Sat, 31 Mar 2012 13:31:08 +1300 Stephen Judd https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253520#post253520 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253520#post253520 Fri, 30 Mar 2012 20:36:32 +1300 Harrismint https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253484#post253484 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253484#post253484 Fri, 30 Mar 2012 19:24:51 +1300 Sacha https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253477#post253477 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253477#post253477 Fri, 30 Mar 2012 19:11:16 +1300 Harrismint https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253474#post253474 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253474#post253474 being back at high school with the same old “cool kids” bullshit in a different box.

That is what it feels like from my 'side' too. Whatever that is. Added to the feeling like a traitor because I'm seeing a chap (to lesbian friends), a tourist when I've shown any…

]]> Fri, 30 Mar 2012 18:58:04 +1300 nzlemming https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253462#post253462 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253462#post253462 Just a possibility ;-)

Welcome, n00b!

]]> Fri, 30 Mar 2012 18:40:58 +1300 Harrismint https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253461#post253461 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253461#post253461 And I have no problem with anyone being a slut. It’s a freaking spectrum after all. We can’t all cluster in one place, it’ll tip over and we’ll fall off.

Also a t-shirt.

]]> Fri, 30 Mar 2012 18:40:35 +1300 Harrismint https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253459#post253459 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253459#post253459 Fri, 30 Mar 2012 18:38:31 +1300 Emma Hart https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253447#post253447 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253447#post253447 teeshirt

At the very least.

]]> Fri, 30 Mar 2012 17:51:31 +1300 Sacha https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253445#post253445 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253445#post253445 Captain of the Canadian Women's Curling Team

teeshirt

]]> Fri, 30 Mar 2012 17:37:59 +1300 Moz https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253420#post253420 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253420#post253420 that's something bi people and poly people and asexual people have in common: you can tell someone the plain truth about who you are and how you feel, and they won't believe you

I get this a lot. Not just on sexuality. Most people operate on the basis that everyone…

]]> Fri, 30 Mar 2012 16:35:36 +1300 Tom Beard https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253419#post253419 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253419#post253419 So, what've you got against the hair-colours black, grey or white?

I include black hair in the general category "brunette", and my longest relationship was with someone with grey/white hair, though usually dyed blonde.

On reflection, one hot auburn would go a long, long way.

]]> Fri, 30 Mar 2012 16:35:35 +1300 Emma Hart https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253416#post253416 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253416#post253416 if you're attracted to both sexes, then you'll be incapable of monogamy because you need one of each, right?

I did have someone, very genuinely and earnestly, ask me this: if, being bisexual and in a relationship with a man, I missed having sex with women. Because that's different, right?…

]]> Fri, 30 Mar 2012 16:29:35 +1300 Islander https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253410#post253410 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253410#post253410 women of all hair colours, I need to have one blonde, one redhead and one brunette, right?
So, what've you got against the hair-colours black, grey or white? 8>)

]]> Fri, 30 Mar 2012 16:09:45 +1300 Tom Beard https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253392#post253392 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253392#post253392 Hair colour, for instance, seems to be more important to me than gender presentation. I have a strong male and female "type" and they're both brunette.

Which reminds me of another stereotype of bisexuals: that if you're attracted to both sexes, then you'll be incapable of monogamy because you need…

]]> Fri, 30 Mar 2012 15:41:51 +1300 Emma Hart https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253328#post253328 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253328#post253328 I've known some bisexual people who say the same, that they're attracted to the whole person rather than to physical attributes, and if they fall in love then the gender of the beloved doesn't matter.

The gender of the person doesn't matter much to me. But that doesn't mean physical…

]]> Fri, 30 Mar 2012 14:09:08 +1300 Tom Beard https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253323#post253323 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253323#post253323 Like her, it's about the person, not the peripherals.

I wonder about that. I've known some bisexual people who say the same, that they're attracted to the whole person rather than to physical attributes, and if they fall in love then the gender of the beloved doesn't matter. But might…

]]> Fri, 30 Mar 2012 14:02:39 +1300 nzlemming https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253322#post253322 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253322#post253322 Fri, 30 Mar 2012 14:00:10 +1300 Emma Hart https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253318#post253318 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253318#post253318 Fri, 30 Mar 2012 13:56:15 +1300 Tom Beard https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253314#post253314 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253314#post253314 just in time to be accused of being a BUG.

That's not a BUG, it's a feature.

]]> Fri, 30 Mar 2012 13:54:12 +1300 Phil fryer https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253293#post253293 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253293#post253293 Thanks Emily,Ive folowed all the leads, & I feel most western cultures & NZ its clear just being "different' stigmitises one !
From the age of 16 i have always enjoyed multiple concurrent lovers, perhaps its libido,but I just really enjoy different minds & bodies, & I have been unwilling/unable
to remain exclusive, apart…

]]> Fri, 30 Mar 2012 13:14:14 +1300 Craig Ranapia https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253196#post253196 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253196#post253196 “Passing” is another thing I’m oddly reluctant to talk about. Because just being able to pass is a form of privilege, right?

Yes it is, but so is being the self-appointed bouncer deciding who is is allowed into the fabulous GLBT club. Having spent way too much of my life…

]]> Fri, 30 Mar 2012 09:28:00 +1300 Gee https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253189#post253189 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253189#post253189 Being able to pass, of course, is what makes us the ninjas of the Gay Agenda. I've had bigots be all bigotty at me at the school gate because I was there picking up my kids and appeared to be in a straight relationship, and I could say, "Oh, really?… ]]> Fri, 30 Mar 2012 02:48:26 +1300 Islander https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253188#post253188 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253188#post253188 Absolutely. So much damage has been done to people by this stupid quasi-religious reluctance to talk about sex and to revile those who do. It one of the things that really makes me angry and a significant factor in why I gave up on religion in my teens.

Me too.…

]]> Fri, 30 Mar 2012 01:18:01 +1300 nzlemming https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253175#post253175 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253175#post253175 may have been over-dramatizing *just* a little... ]]> Thu, 29 Mar 2012 22:44:13 +1300 Sacha https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253170#post253170 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253170#post253170 Thu, 29 Mar 2012 21:05:52 +1300 Emma Hart https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253168#post253168 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253168#post253168 Heh, wife thought I was gay when she first met me.

Ha, so that's like, what, reverse passing? Undertaking?

]]> Thu, 29 Mar 2012 19:30:49 +1300 nzlemming https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253167#post253167 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253167#post253167 Thu, 29 Mar 2012 19:28:42 +1300 Emma Hart https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253165#post253165 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253165#post253165 I rather suspect that us asexuals are a necessary part of the continuum then. 8>)

Absolutely. All we outliers benefit from acknowledgement of other outliers, right? (Also, morez 4 me LOL.)

And the lost earning potential?! Makes me think twice about whether to be open in job applications in the…

]]> Thu, 29 Mar 2012 19:14:29 +1300 nzlemming https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253164#post253164 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253164#post253164 I rather suspect that us asexuals are a necessary part of the continuum then. 8>)

Absolutely. So much damage has been done to people by this stupid quasi-religious reluctance to talk about sex and to revile those who do. It one of the things that really makes me angry and…

]]> Thu, 29 Mar 2012 19:13:27 +1300 Islander https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253161#post253161 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253161#post253161 ETA And I have no problem with anyone being a slut. It’s a freaking spectrum after all. We can’t all cluster in one place, it’ll tip over and we’ll fall off.

I rather suspect that us asexuals are a necessary part of the continuum then. 8>)
(I knew what I…

]]> Thu, 29 Mar 2012 18:02:46 +1300 Gee https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253154#post253154 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253154#post253154 Like her, it's about the person, not the peripherals.
Exactly.
This was a great post Emma, and the article itself was pretty spot on. I've never heard other bis talk about the 'feeling like a traitor' thing, so it was kind of a breakthrough to hear it said out loud.…

]]> Thu, 29 Mar 2012 16:56:56 +1300 Lucy Stewart https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253145#post253145 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253145#post253145 I’d also argue that the stereotypes of bisexuals are damaging in and of themselves. We’re promiscuous, heartless, self-absorbed exhibitionists lacking in empathy and compassion. We’re sluts. We’re “over-sexed” – a phrase deliciously packed with social conditioning. We are, in short, the women of least value. If you’re the kind of… ]]> Thu, 29 Mar 2012 13:38:23 +1300 Emma Hart https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253135#post253135 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253135#post253135 It took a while for me to understand my sexuality.

I was having this conversation with my civil union partner just a couple of days ago, and he was gob-smacked that it took me so long to work it out. Because I appear to have my shit fairly together, right?…

]]> Thu, 29 Mar 2012 12:51:04 +1300 nzlemming https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253125#post253125 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253125#post253125 Thu, 29 Mar 2012 11:52:15 +1300 Public Address https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253124#post253124 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/up-front-hitting-that/?p=253124#post253124 Discussion from blog post.

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