Public Address | Cafe | Speaker: We shouldn’t have to look back on those moments and think: I was lucky

Russell Brown

Mon, 17 Dec 2018 07:01:10 +1300

I'm not sure this conversation is going anywhere useful wrt to the original post. I'll close it for the time being, thanks everyone.

Moz

Sun, 16 Dec 2018 20:26:15 +1300

How many non-femme men feel anxious walking along a quiet street at night?

Oh, that one is easy: most of them. Personally one reason that I ride a bike is that I'm much less likely to get attacked (albeit if I am I'm much more likely to die, since the…

SHG

Sun, 16 Dec 2018 18:21:08 +1300

assuming all men are good until proven otherwise is a strategy that can get you killed.

When our lives are on the line, you all look the same. And quite frankly, I don’t care if that hurts your feelings
https://thespinoff.co.nz/society/15-12-2018/the-astonishing-selfishness-of-not-all-men/

mark taslov

Sat, 15 Dec 2018 14:25:30 +1300

Thanks for the clarification – I’d just assumed “stalking and killing other humans are almost all male.” in conjunction with “woman in a relationship increases the likelihood of domestic violence occurring” was a natural extension of “Violence is mostly a male problem, yet impacts mostly on women” – but I…

linger

Sat, 15 Dec 2018 14:12:37 +1300

In context, those questions are rhetorical (assumed answer “Bloody few”), and intended as an ironic comment on the rabbit-chasing away from the theme “Violence is mostly a male problem, yet impacts mostly on women”.

In retrospect it’s easy to understand the reaction “I don’t have any solutions to the problem…

mark taslov

Sat, 15 Dec 2018 11:23:24 +1300

Really enjoying the whataboutism here, not

Something I feel I’m missing here; every commentator up to that point makes noises in concordance with the non-controversial premise that the biggest threat to our safety comes from men i.e the discussion is centered on men – So I can’t fathom the reasoning…

william blake

Sat, 15 Dec 2018 09:30:59 +1300

Men get murdered too. By men. Men use violence to controll the world, that's why the world is in such bad shape. Happy new year and love to all.

linger

Sat, 15 Dec 2018 07:59:29 +1300

Actually, why do we keep falling down that particular rabbit-hole?
(i) It’s easier to sympathise with a victim, so that’s where our attention goes.
(ii) A surviving victim needs to recover some sense of agency, which often means seeking out something they can easily change.
(iii) The aggressor is (presumed…

linger

Sat, 15 Dec 2018 07:22:16 +1300

Well, yes. But again, looking at characteristics of the victim distracts from the point that the aggressor is the problem. (And it turns out we're really easily distracted by characteristics of the victim.)

TracyMac

Sat, 15 Dec 2018 02:10:19 +1300

Really enjoying the whataboutism here, not. And it always, always happens when it comes to discussions of violence against women.

Let's put it another way. How many women commit sexual assaults against complete strangers? How many non-femme men feel anxious walking along a quiet street at night?

mark taslov

Fri, 14 Dec 2018 20:26:06 +1300

men kill themselves more often than women.

Except in the PRC (26% of global suicides) and few other outlying countries.

It turns out that the humans with the greatest interest and ability at stalking and killing other humans are almost all male.

But we’re not allowed to have that conversation.…

linger

Fri, 14 Dec 2018 19:25:27 +1300

And the population-level statistics – while they may help set the optimal outreach targets, campaign designs, and policies – are possibly misleading in another way, too. Drill down deep enough, and really what you’re left with is: how safe do I feel right now in this relationship with this individual?…

SHG

Fri, 14 Dec 2018 18:34:29 +1300

Indeed. I put that forward as a topic for discussion, not as the conclusion of the study. I daresay that DEATHS from domestic violence would most often be at male hands, regardless of who instigated it. We're better at killing.

It is certainly the case in suicide stats. Women attempt…

linger

Fri, 14 Dec 2018 18:00:38 +1300

The safest relationship to be in is a gay male partnership; the most dangerous is a lesbian partnership.But that conclusion is premature, as the measure compared (probability of reporting of domestic violence) is not equivalent to the actual risk measure (probability of incidence of domestic violence)*(average impact of incident).
It's…

SHG

Fri, 14 Dec 2018 14:43:06 +1300

And if you really want to have your mind blown and your gender preconceptions thrown out the window:

In a 2010 Centers for Disease Control and Prevention study reporting on domestic violence in the U.S., 26% of gay men said that they experienced physical violence, stalking, or rape by their…

Moz

Thu, 13 Dec 2018 20:57:01 +1300

always boils down to the thing they were objecting to in the first place: it's because Men are Trash

That's the bit that gets me. "#notallmen but never ever let any man near you because you just don't know".... WTF?

SHG

Thu, 13 Dec 2018 16:22:15 +1300

It’s hard for commentators to admit to the gendered nature of the problem because to do so requires admitting that there is actually a difference in interests and abilities between men and women. It turns out that the humans with the greatest interest and ability at stalking and killing other…

WaterDragon

Thu, 13 Dec 2018 15:04:03 +1300

Oh to be minus those words of privilege used to justify the violence that is unjustifiable and blaming those who are at the receiving end. Oh to be minus the complacency of media articles that focus, rather in the manner of medieval theologians, on irrelevancies. Thanks for this piece- remarkably…

Emma Hart

Thu, 13 Dec 2018 14:31:05 +1300

Realise that not travelling alone or avoiding Tinder isn’t any real solution.

Here's one of the many, many things that really irritates me. People object to attempts to centre this discussion on men, and say women should just take "sensible precautions" like never leaving the house under any circumstances, and…

Public Address

Thu, 13 Dec 2018 14:31:05 +1300

Discussion from blog post.