metric fuckton

I am impressed by this unit of measure.

You know you're talking real urban sophistication when someone is measuring it in metric fucktons.

metric fuckton

I am impressed by this unit of measure.

in terms of punching at their weight

Am picturing someone thudding disconsolately at their spare tire, wondering if maybe they should go back to the gym...

All this talk of Wellington is reminding me of the time I stayed there, not long after we'd left NYC. I was really homesick…

Also, Wgtn, which is only…

Righto, that should have offended a few folk in both cities.

And Jews.

Culture and sun are inversely proportional (think North Shore)?

Fun run + sausage sizzle = crown of creation.

Just a few days ago we were driving along a downtown Auckland street and I saw a billboard that said "TAKE YOUR KIDS TO BRISNEYLAND!"

Yes, I laughed like a drain when I saw that one.

and I turned to Paul and said "Not many Jews in NZ eh?"

Well,…

'I'd like a glass of water, please.'

'Water.'
'What was that, hon?'
'Wahdder.'
'Oh, a glass of WAHDDER! Coming right up.'
I have had that exact conversation more times than I can count.
(See also: beer --> bee-ERRRRRRRR)

My poor husband had several variations on that conversation in Canada, when…

Phoebe at Tumeke fails — that dude's carrying a sax and is clearly on his way from a gig. The actual problem there is that any real musician would have their precious instrument in a case.

I don't understand that ad. Why is an old man riding a bicycle on the footpath without a helmet up to the gates of an old cemetery?

I think this makes more sense when you see the follow-on adverts, which are done in cartoons. The gates open and it floats…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjHqQnrGjdE

BUT!!! Give me a decent transport system over Gucci any day – then you've got a city!

'I'd like a glass of water, please.'

'Water.'
'What was that, hon?'
'Wahdder.'
'Oh, a glass of WAHDDER! Coming right up.'

I have had that exact conversation more times than I can count.

(See also: beer --> bee-ERRRRRRRR)

to be able to talk without seeing stunned incomprehension in the face of my non-rhotic accent

Danielle Ordering in Any Restaurant in the US South: A Play in One Brief But Oft-Repeated Act

'I'd like a glass of water, please.'

'Water.'
'What was that, hon?'
'Wahdder.'
'Oh, a glass of…

I'm periodically reminded that I think like an American

I'm dying to know what this entails. "Mmm, this feijoa is great, but it needs more corn syrup and cheap gas"?

The flip side of homesickness and struggling with reentry is the way your sphere of familiarity widens. If you're in…

The inclusion of this stylistic nod means that Auckland is reterritorialised as fairytale America

And those carnivalesque gates strike me as not just Americana, but American gothic... Ray Bradbury-esque. The only thing missing was a guy in a clown mask wielding a meat cleaver, but perhaps he was busy at…

But it was an internal tourism ad: it was meant to impress the rest of the country ...

I was pointed to it by an organisation aimed at NZers abroad so somewhere along the line that intent got sidetracked.

The inclusion of this stylistic nod means that Auckland is reterritorialised…

The inclusion of this stylistic nod means that Auckland is reterritorialised as fairytale America and the assertion of locality is largely not through landscape but through the cameos of local celebrities who supposedly embody…

As for "hardening up" and getting on with it, if you're so proud of our country, why are…

That "Heart" of Auckland advert is bloody typical – could be anywhere in the world rather than confidently planted in the planet's largest polynesian city.

I don't understand that ad. Why is an old man riding a bicycle on the footpath without a helmet up to the gates of an…

it's hard to imagine why there isn't more difference represented at the national level

Or local, for that matter. I'd bet on lack of social and financial capital combined with offputtingly monocultural institutions.

That "Heart" of Auckland advert is bloody typical – could be anywhere in the world rather than…

I'm the one with the privilege of of second-thoughts editing.

Heh.

I feel like I'm in a city that faces the Pacific. I know where to go to get great beef noodles for 10 bucks, or to get a really classy meal for a bit more. I'm five minutes from the city and I have a beach around the corner where…

Just saw this:

Ah, wondered if you had. I'm the one with the privilege of of second-thoughts editing. But it's coming people, it's coming ...

True that but I get thoroughly irked by the endless need to compete on a cosmopolitan level. I was pissed of by the person who though it was smart to put a clear shot of the Gucci and LV stores in that Auckland promo thingy I saw oh YouTube.

I…

Tom – always good to hear a dissenting voice. I don't entirely disagree. I too reckon patriotism is an underrated virtue and that NZ is a privileged country whose "people have and will achieve great things".

But your response seems inapposite to what I wrote, for…

For me, the feeling that the five years I was living in London was never permanent made living in London easier, and coming home easier.

As I've written before, I strongly identified with the New Zealanders before me (Fairburn in…

people don't move to NZ for a cosmopolitan lifestyle.

True that but I get thoroughly irked by the endless need to compete on a cosmopolitan level. I was pissed of by the person who though it was smart to put a clear shot of the Gucci and LV stores in…

Nobody ever told me that it was possible to be homesick regardless of where I lived.

It's possible to feel that way and yet never left the country for an extended time. :-)

poorly insulated homes, ratshit public transportation, high food prices, a vacuous mass media, and fewer and smaller…

and I'm periodically reminded that I think like an American ....

I have a friend here in Bali. They carry a NZ passport but are of Dutch blood. The family came to Indonesia in the early 1800s and lived here non-stop until 1949 and independence, whereupon the government gave them…

We would be able to leverage that into…

install a good fireplace,

Daniel, was that cold house reference to the returning son in the Doc's Notes in the DP today, about you? If so I do love the synchronicity of NZ.

Might take more than a fireplace though.

Ah – the feeling of alienation from the land of your birth.

C'est la Vie.
If you go away, what a life!
If you come home, you're lucky.
Wherever you are, you are still there.
C'est la Vie!

For me the oddest experience was returning to Christchurch, location of my student days and, one would have thought, brimming with memories. It was oddly blank and impervious to my attempts to connect.

Similar thing with Auckland. Not where I was from, but I spent 10 years there, either as…

Disabled embedding can be a mercy (although I tend to think of it as political strategy, funnily enough).

you carry on like you've been moved to Mars.

Thing is, after almost 5 years away, for me returning to NZ on visits can be a little like arriving in Mars. Not bad Mars at all but a pretty major culture shock after Asia or the US or just about…

For goodness sake harden up

WTF???
the essay in question is not a rugby blog.
wtf has patriotism got to do with anything??? or forbears? or colonialism?

Reading comprehension unit standard...not achieved. repeat next term.

writing about personal, emotional experiences...no room for any of that sissy shit, lad!!! harden up!…

Want do you want, a medal?

Chill, Tom. This is what moving does. I felt it leaving Hamilton, I felt it leaving Auckland, I felt it leaving Wellington, and god help me I felt it leaving Kidderminster. I think you're reading some very different things into what Daniel is saying…

For goodness sake harden up . . .

Shouldn't that be FFS, at least?

__The pioneers have hairy ears,
They piss through leather britches,
They wipe their ass with broken glass,
Those tough old sons of bitches.
When c*nt is rare, they f*ck a bear,
They knife him if he…

I remember being very depressed for a couple of years after I got back – baffingling so. I remember one day being in absolute tears outside the Citizens Advice Bureau on Queen Street. It took a hell of…

It has some nice resonances with a piece by James McNaughton in the new Landfall,

Aw, it's good to have him back too.

For me the oddest experience was returning to Christchurch, location of my student days and, one would have thought, brimming with memories. It was oddly blank and impervious to my attempts to connect.

Weirdly, despite having never left the city, I've just had this experience. I'm trying to arrange a…

It has some nice resonances with a piece by James McNaughton in the new Landfall, in which he attempts to refamiliarise himself with his Wellington childhood home by using Google Streetview... while actually in Wellington. (If anything it makes him more homesick for what he…

"But to a returning Wellingtonian, these merits are filtered, unevenly and unpredictably, through a web of recollection and emotional response."

I have this experience all the time. I was…

So for me, the fog clears intermittently :)

one thing that might not have occurred to…