Uruguay v S. Africa – 6.10 mins
Honduras v Chile – 2.10 mins
Spain v Switzerland – 7.15 mins

Barely fifteen minutes of football in an…

It'll be all about licenses and how much game footage they are allowed to show. Of the 64 games, only 11 are live and free to air.

Methinks TVNZ hasn't actually purchased any highlights and is simply 'padded-out' the clips originally supplied as news footage. If they have actually paid…

I think not enough people took their shirts off for it to qualify.

Here's more gratutiousness in the form of a non-fan's guide to the men of the world cup, possibly safe for work (depending on how comfortable your employers are with shirtlessness).

They at least could have done it half an hour earlier and then edited it down. Would have fitted in 50% more talking.

Oh god, we're writing All Whites fan fic. No one tell Emma!

I think not enough people took their shirts off for it to qualify.

I'm picking Germany. We can nail England on penalties. Germany will be a tall order, but anything can happen on the day...

Oh god, we're writing All Whites fan fic. No one tell Emma!

I hear that's a guaranteed win. Who do we take on in the final?

I'm picking Germany. We can nail England on penalties. Germany will be a tall order, but anything can happen on the day...

All Whites who now progress to the Semi Finals to face England

I hear that's a guaranteed win. Who do we take on in the final?

"A freak lightening storm has felled the Brazilian team as they take the field, handing the quarter final match to the All Whites who now progress to the Semi Finals to face England."

England in the semi-finals? That's just crazy talk...

All White on the night – Kiwis show Australia how it's done

JUST when you thought the World Cup couldn't get any more annoying, what about this? On day five of the tournament as things currently stand it's New Zealand 1 and…

@Simon: yeah I think Brazil will be where we really have to knuckle down and try hard to win. Do that and the cup's as good as ours.

"A freak lightening storm has felled the Brazilian team as they take the field, handing the quarter final match to the All…

No complaints on the Slovak goal then?

I haven't got any reason to. I actually thought NZ's was ever so slightly offside, but not enough for anyone to complain.

Weird, that's not what it makes me feel like at all.

Yeah, me neither. That's odd, isn't it?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2010/jun/15/fifa-bavaria-beer-orange-dresses

Frankly, the feminisation of rugby has some catching-up to do.

Ahem, Dan Carter.

I have to say that I've been a little underwhelmed with the presence of women in the whole FIFA media-show however. Apart from Theron pulling names out of a hat, and Shakira shaking her thing on stage,…

@Emma — gosh, you're a hussey, Emma.

Oh, come off it. There is nothing wrong with admiring hot naked men.

gosh, you're a hussey, Emma.

Aw, thank you. And I didn't even post Portugal in their official underwear. Frankly, the feminisation of rugby has some catching-up to do.

Suddenly I feel like an ugly fat loser. ;)

Weird, that's not what it makes me feel like at all.

his name is Cannavaro

Am I the only one whose attention tends to slide sideways when Cannavaro's mentioned? Yes?

Firstly, if your job is to take all the set play kickoffs and get them coming in to the strikers at head height, that's a pretty important job given that this is a primary way that NZ is going to be able to score.

It was messy play alright. The…

BTW, I do wish someone up high would tell Fallon to stop using his elbows like that.

In fairness, he's probably had a lifetime of his Dad yelling 'elbows! use your elbows!' at him.

how can you possibly say Elliot was terrible? when was the last time we had anyone stand up in central midfield and look like he has the remotest idea of what he's doing?

Well secondly, I have no idea.

Firstly, if your job is to take all the set play…

Well before he scored I was thinking the Reid looked the business and ignored the fact that he couldn't…

We played our best football in the last 15 minutes when we actually shelved Route 1 and started playing it through the middle. That’s when Nelsen really took hold…

Probably better to avoid the Dutch. Although they're not that flash at penalty shootouts. Yeah, we can take 'em.

Quarter-Final could be tricky though. Brazil are waiting.

but for long periods of the first half I was cursing his inability to get the weight right on some of his passing

Exactly. Lots of comments about how he had a great game. I thought he was terrible in the first half. Lots of set play kicks that were…

for Italy I'd like to see us drop to two up front, maybe lose…

Nelsen has ice in his veins, never anything less than classy.

He was superb.

and how about Elliot in the first half? Until he got the bash a few times he was your store bought midfield general.

and great work at the back, well with a few minties moments from Paston excepted. Nelsen…

Watching Twitter explode straight after the goal was fun though.