Public Address | Cafe | Southerly: This Week in Parliament: 20 October 2014 - 24th October 2014 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/ en-us Copyright (c) 2026 Public Address Chris Waugh https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330895#post330895 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330895#post330895 from the Onion?

Unfortunately, no, it was a real article. Quite possibly one of the foreign subeditors seeing an opportunity for self-expression of the kind that'd fly under the boss' radar.

]]> Thu, 30 Oct 2014 17:07:18 +1300 Ross Mason https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330894#post330894 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330894#post330894 Ululate

What a wonderful word.

But surely, for this type of verbal unintelligible utterance from the sound box such a word should have been onomatopoeic.

1620s, from Latin ululatus, past participle of ululare (see ululation ). Related: Ululated ; ululating.

(waits for howls of laughter....)

]]> Thu, 30 Oct 2014 17:05:12 +1300 linger https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330883#post330883 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330883#post330883 Onion? ]]> Thu, 30 Oct 2014 14:10:21 +1300 Steve Barnes https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330876#post330876 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330876#post330876 PHEW WHAT A SCORCHER!!!
Temperatures soar into the 20s
Every blood August...

]]> Thu, 30 Oct 2014 13:26:25 +1300 nzlemming https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330872#post330872 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330872#post330872 ’twas T’Sun

So it was. I always get those two mixed up...

]]> Thu, 30 Oct 2014 12:46:09 +1300 Ross Mason https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330870#post330870 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330870#post330870 I think your correspondent will be interested in next Monday’s report, where Ebola will certainly be (tastefully) mentioned.

Stop Press: Ebola Post about to go viral.

]]> Thu, 30 Oct 2014 12:02:06 +1300 Chris Waugh https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330805#post330805 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330805#post330805 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 20:08:37 +1300 Amanda Wreckonwith https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330792#post330792 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330792#post330792 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 19:23:47 +1300 nzlemming https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330783#post330783 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330783#post330783 Incidentally, I’ve always thought headlines are something the British newspapers do really well.

"Freddie Starr Ate My Hamster!" is one I recall fondly from the Daily Mail.

]]> Wed, 29 Oct 2014 18:49:36 +1300 FletcherB https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330770#post330770 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330770#post330770 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 17:37:59 +1300 Paul Campbell https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330719#post330719 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330719#post330719 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 13:49:13 +1300 Steve Barnes https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330711#post330711 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330711#post330711 I've always thought headlines are something the British newspapers do really well.

Ausies ain't too bad either, although they do tend to be a little grubby. I remember back in the eighties when a large transport company hit the skids. Headline: Aus Trucking Failure. Always sounded like a [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoonerism |…

]]> Wed, 29 Oct 2014 12:55:27 +1300 David Haywood https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330707#post330707 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330707#post330707 trouble up at Pitman…

I really should subcontract you to do the sub-headings, Ian!

Incidentally, I've always thought headlines are something the British newspapers do really well. My favourite was when a large chocolate retail chain went bankrupt: "Top Choc Shop Flop Shock". Try saying that quickly.

]]> Wed, 29 Oct 2014 12:40:09 +1300 Steve Barnes https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330702#post330702 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330702#post330702 steganographers!

A astute observation there Mr. :D

]]> Wed, 29 Oct 2014 11:58:02 +1300 Steve Barnes https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330700#post330700 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330700#post330700 This week in Parliament, in fact yesterday, Parliament was invited to welcome a delegation from the Fijian Parliament, which they did, with much banging together of hands.
I wondered what they were there for, was it to observe another successful Pacific Dictatorship? Of course this can't be the case as…

]]> Wed, 29 Oct 2014 11:56:16 +1300 Ian Dalziel https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330674#post330674 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330674#post330674 trouble up at Pitman…
Alas the long-running stenographer dispute…
…all due to a simple typographic error that lead to the first tranche of Parliamentary security changes – as the they were replaced with steganographers!
I’m sure National were comfortable with that…

Welcome to the obfuscation nation!

]]> Wed, 29 Oct 2014 06:46:37 +1300 Sacha https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330660#post330660 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330660#post330660 a previous column

the drugs appear to have worn off.

Under the Speaker's proposal, an Olympic-sized swimming pool would be installed in the main floor of the debating chamber. "During school visits I would entertain the children by swimming lengths of the pool while disguised as a camel," explains Dr…

]]> Tue, 28 Oct 2014 22:58:21 +1300 Sacha https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330658#post330658 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330658#post330658 that holds back NZ Inc

's hair as she vomits in the nightclub toilets

]]> Tue, 28 Oct 2014 22:54:09 +1300 Lilith __ https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330656#post330656 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330656#post330656 If my country needs me then I suppose I should oblige.

We shall expect your next installment no later than mid-2018.

]]> Tue, 28 Oct 2014 22:39:03 +1300 David Haywood https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330655#post330655 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330655#post330655 David! I have received a request for similar reportage from you on the ebola threat in Wellington. Please advise, as any length you see fit.

I think your correspondent will be interested in next Monday's report, where Ebola will certainly be (tastefully) mentioned.

]]> Tue, 28 Oct 2014 22:28:18 +1300 David Haywood https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330653#post330653 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330653#post330653 David I’m hoping your Week in Parliament will be a regular feature from now on. Your country needs you! ;-)

Thanks, Lilith – an intriguing suggestion! If my country needs me then I suppose I should oblige.

Just FYI there was also a previous column here:

http://publicaddress.net/southerly/this-week-in-parliament-/

Alas the long-running…

]]> Tue, 28 Oct 2014 22:13:07 +1300 Steve Barnes https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330632#post330632 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330632#post330632 And.
We have every reason to be fearful...
Did you not hear about the Flight that was cancelled when an “Al-Quida” Wi-Fi network became available?

]]> Tue, 28 Oct 2014 17:26:46 +1300 Steve Barnes https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330628#post330628 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330628#post330628 Why do you hate the idea of a prosperous, efficient country

Russell, you are really not helping the situation by leaking Government secrets. You know this will only apply to the chosen few.

]]> Tue, 28 Oct 2014 17:21:28 +1300 Russell Brown https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330627#post330627 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330627#post330627 Tue, 28 Oct 2014 17:17:14 +1300 Russell Brown https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330620#post330620 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330620#post330620 I suggest you stick to fiction and satire and avoid proper journalism.

Bart, it's precisely this sort of thinking that holds back NZ Inc.

Why do you hate the idea of a prosperous, efficient country kept free of terrorism by experimental cyborgs? Do you not grasp that we're on the…

]]> Tue, 28 Oct 2014 16:07:15 +1300 Matthew Poole https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330619#post330619 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330619#post330619 Ever noticed how eerily similar she looks to Vladimar Putin ? Put a blonde wig on him and you couldn't tell the difference.

Have you ever seen the two of them in the same room at the same time?!

]]> Tue, 28 Oct 2014 16:05:47 +1300 Greg Dawson https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330609#post330609 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330609#post330609 Ever noticed how eerily similar she looks to Vladimar Putin ? Put a blonde wig on him and you couldn’t tell the difference.

And some provocative Victory Red lippy

Or.... we could focus on how she's not a very effective minister, and she has a surprisingly dodgy portfolio of extramural…

]]> Tue, 28 Oct 2014 13:53:24 +1300 Katita https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330604#post330604 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330604#post330604 Ever noticed how eerily similar she looks to Vladimar Putin ? Put a blonde wig on him and you couldn't tell the difference.
And some provocative Victory Red lippy

]]> Tue, 28 Oct 2014 12:53:22 +1300 Rob Stowell https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330603#post330603 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330603#post330603 Tue, 28 Oct 2014 12:14:14 +1300 Ianmac https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330602#post330602 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330602#post330602 "“Simon intends to create a superhuman cyborg warrior by ‘upgrading’ a suitable National Party MP,” says the Prime Minister."
Aha! At last a use for Judith Collins. She has, or did have, the necessary "instincts " for the job.

]]> Tue, 28 Oct 2014 12:05:36 +1300 Lilith __ https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330601#post330601 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330601#post330601 Tue, 28 Oct 2014 11:28:01 +1300 Bart Janssen https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330600#post330600 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330600#post330600 While amusing this is not as good as you previous works.

I suggest you stick to fiction and satire and avoid proper journalism.

]]> Tue, 28 Oct 2014 11:11:37 +1300 FletcherB https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330599#post330599 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330599#post330599 I was going to propose an ex-national MP/ex-All Black who seems to be at a loose end for the killer robot job but then realised that the fix was in and Bridges obviously already has a candidate in mind

I’m thinking of a particular ex-Nat and coincidentally also ex-Act MP/Party…

]]> Tue, 28 Oct 2014 11:02:39 +1300 Grant McDougall https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330596#post330596 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330596#post330596 justice minister Amy Adams

Ever noticed how eerily similar she looks to Vladimar Putin ? Put a blonde wig on him and you couldn't tell the difference.

]]> Tue, 28 Oct 2014 08:52:35 +1300 David Haywood https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330595#post330595 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330595#post330595 Kudos for not using “member” there. It must have been tempting.

Doh! You can probably hear me banging my head on my desk all the way from Tokyo. What a missed opportunity! Some political journalists have standards – but, I can assure you, not me.

]]> Tue, 28 Oct 2014 07:39:02 +1300 Paul Campbell https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330594#post330594 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330594#post330594 Tue, 28 Oct 2014 07:34:26 +1300 andin https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330593#post330593 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330593#post330593 “Most GCSB staff are ex-parking wardens or former call-centre managers. In hindsight it was overly ambitious to ask them to develop a robot army.”
But they will be speech training the bots, to be really, reeally annoying.
Lets see those ISIS chappies get past them. HA!

]]> Tue, 28 Oct 2014 07:29:01 +1300 linger https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330592#post330592 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330592#post330592 The uncircumcised ministerKudos for not using “member” there. It must have been tempting. ]]> Tue, 28 Oct 2014 00:40:58 +1300 Myles Thomas https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330589#post330589 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330589#post330589 Mon, 27 Oct 2014 23:04:54 +1300 Public Address https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330588#post330588 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/southerly-this-week-in-parliament-20-october/?p=330588#post330588 Discussion from blog post.

]]> Mon, 27 Oct 2014 23:04:54 +1300