There's a sign on a letterbox near my house which reads "Residence of Mr and Mrs Smith. Grandchildren spoiled while you wait..."

There's no sound, none, that can be generated from a recorder that remotely approximates music.

Excuse me for joining the conversation late, but:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Rccp8KcpyI

I laughed more than once

Surprisingly good to hear of adventures in junior land. My daughter is now 7 and we are over almost over Maccas . Mostly she like the horrible plastic things that pass for toys.

being an Uncle is different to being a parent. You…

I have a 9yrold nephew staying – verbatim:

"She gets *how* much chocalate? Is that each day or what?"
"I love maths. I can be bribed.though."
"America – o way good." (Probably the only one of the family who'd actually say that.)

Now, can I…

I can see it now. Auntie Amy's Homestays for Luckless Children

PRO: buys chocolate in five kilo boxes

Now the oldest insists on accompanying his sister.

She'll be on the first plane.

I can see it now. Auntie Amy's Homestays for Luckless Children

PRO: buys chocolate in five kilo boxes

CON: will make you do your maths homework

the fried sweetbreads which – I swear I am not making this up – were one of their standard side dishes

That is just plain awesome. Bring back offal-based fast foods! Liver on a stick! Kidney chips! Intestines in gravy!

I completely forgot about KFC's bean salad. Huh. When did…

I distinctly remember some sort of KFC knock-off, but with a green-striped colour scheme instead of red, perhaps with the word "country" in the name, which I used to look at longingly when we drove up to visit my grandparents.

The green stripes were "Homestead Chicken". I have no particular…

Didn't stop me liking the ad though. Very smart of them to anticipate the obesity they helped create.

-one of my nieces got quite ill after eating KFC (it was flu' rather than- well, we *assume* it was the flu...): the next time she was given KFC she went (we're talking a 4yrold here)into the shower with it. Why? asked her perturbed parents. "Because I…

My cousins used to refer to it as "chunder chook", on account of the number of times they got sick after eating it...

The things you learn through PA — I had no idea we were so educational.

My only regret now is that I never had an Aunt or Uncle that let me throw Molotov cocktails (although my grandfather did make me a lethal crossbow when I was nine; the bolt of which would split a piece of 4x2 at about 10 metres).

We didn't make Molotov…

The first one was at the roundabout at Royal Oak, about 1971 I think.

At Royal Oak? Are you sure that was KFC? I distinctly remember some sort of KFC knock-off, but with a green-striped colour scheme instead of red, perhaps with the word "country" in the name, which I…

recall KFC's arrival as the first global fast food chain. Colonel Sanders even visited. It was the hot and happening thing to get your parents to buy, but I think I only ever ate it a handful of times. It just wasn't very nice.

The first one was at the…

The last KFC I recall eating was a chickenburger in Taupo 20+ years ago. It was really, really horrible.

We used to live in Mandeville St, and when the hot nor-west wind blew, it brought the smell of the Riccarton Rd KFC right into our backyard. We used to frequently…

Shows how ahead of her time my mother was – back in the day she wrote to someone (either TVNZ or KFC, I can't recall) making exactly that point about that advertisment.

Ha! My very first letter of complaint *nay, outrage* was written to whatever passed for the TV Guide…

I loved that ad! Like Islander, made no impact on my consumption of the product. :)

Just like that:

And Hugo said you go
And I said no you go,
And soon he was back
And then Dad his the track
So we ate in the back
Feelin' better inside…

you can imagine some marketing guy coughing politely. "Umm, so the kids are a little obese, not really the image we're looking to convey these days about the product..."

Shows how ahead of her time my mother was – back in the day she wrote to someone (either TVNZ or…

I never realized before how massively unfair it was that I never got issued with my proper share of childfree aunts and uncles.

What's boggling me now is that my daughter's 'cool uncle' is the brother I hated so passionately when I was her age. (And younger, and older.)

I loved that ad! Like Islander, made no impact on my consumption of the product. :)

It's pretty dated isn't it? If it came up now you can imagine some marketing guy coughing politely. "Umm, so the kids are a little obese, not really the image we're looking to convey…

I am resolved to set an extra bad example to nephews and nieces to make up for my own deprivation. Anyone want to send their kids over so I can practice?

She'll be on the first plane.

But I think the next step up is a banjolele — an instrument considered so loathsome that P.G. Wodehouse based an entire novel on their awfulness.

OMG! We had one of these for a while – picked up for a quarter at a yard sale. I liked the…

You all sound like a thoroughly lovely bunch of aunts and uncles, I must say. What nice readers we have at PA.

I never realized before how massively unfair it was that I never got issued with my proper share of childfree aunts and uncles. (The pair I did get…

But I think the next step up is a banjolele — an instrument considered so loathsome that P.G. Wodehouse based an entire novel on their awfulness.

Though not quite as nasty as The Aunt on A Mission. Wodehouse based an entire career on the notion that the female siblings of…

You are growing little ravers.

Excellent.

prefers sushi to Maccas,

mine kids of joy love the sushi. although its not so convenient in a pinch, and the toys that come with it aint as exciting....

* * * *

i am blessed with a few crazy 'uncles' who always love to bring the noise. It's like…

When he's old enough to start to make moral choices like that, I'd absolutely encourage him to explore that. But at four, with friends…

You all sound like a thoroughly lovely bunch of aunts and uncles, I must say. What nice readers we have at PA.

My only regret now is that I never had an Aunt or Uncle that let me throw…

McDonald's was a last resort.

We managed to live Macca-free until the kids got to be about 7 or 8. It was the blasted birthday parties of their friends that did us in. I couldn't bring myself to say 'no' and consign them to social oblivion. Proud to say we…

This childfree aunt admits to teaching siblings' offspring to fish(in those instances where their parents havent provided this essential lifeskill), eat properly with their fingers,collect fireworks for auspicious occaisions (*not* Guy Fawkes), enjoy outre foods from huhu to tofushakes to roes...

Islander, maybe you are available to aunt people outside…

And on McDonald's: it's infant food.

Very true – is there anything on ther menu that actually requires teeth?

This childfree aunt admits to teaching siblings' offspring to fish(in those instances where their parents havent provided this essential lifeskill), eat properly with their fingers,collect fireworks for auspicious occaisions (*not* Guy Fawkes), enjoy outre foods from huhu to tofushakes to roes, and make umukai/hangi. And…

For a while a recorder was my gift of choice for kids. Fortunately noone was unkind enough to return the 'favour' when I had my own.

I'm sure you're a nice person paula, but you'd be off my party list if you bought my kids a recorder; the recorder to…

A friend's father even took the buzz out of their Buzzy Bee.

Oy... that's hardcore. Would have to loved to see how that got explained away.

My doctor told me you don't get diabetes from sugar. Yay !

[(http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2003/apr/21/usnews.food|Sugar industry threatens to scupper WHO | Society | The Guardian)]

Well, so the sugar lobby would would have you believe. And it's true, much in the same way guns don't kill people, alcohol doesn't cause liver disease…

Yeah, but even then, (and since we know from another thread running at the moment the high number of Elvis Costello fans here) Accidents Will Happen.

Though much as you adore the little no-neck monsters, this is the Costello ditty that often comes to mind...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VghnM9LJ1R0

Or if you're a…

Unfortunately experience tells me that the battery life and strength of construction of a toy are directly proportional to the annoyingness of the noise it produces.

Yeah, but even then, (and since we know from another thread running at the moment the high number of Elvis Costello fans here) Accidents…

One can only be thankful that modern Very Loud Toys are often badly constructed (therefore, easily broken "accidentally on purpose") or require a dozen car batteries and someone with an advanced engineering degree to put it together.

Unfortunately experience tells me that the battery life and strength of construction of…

And on McDonald's: it's infant food. It was a popular family treat for a while, but our guys seemed to outgrow it. The older one now much prefers a nice butter chicken and the younger one doesn't…

This is the second post David's made that doubles as an effective form of birth control.

Oh, that's so hurtful!

paulalambert wrote:

My doctor told me you don't get diabetes from sugar. Yay !

I guess my siblings and I are living proof of that.

And on…

My brother and his partner have a less fierce but occasionally problematic possie in our family: they're the playful big uncles who, when they give neices and nephews back, often accompany it with a gift of a Very Loud Toy.

Isn't there some kind of UN Convention prohibiting such a…

For a while a recorder was my gift of choice for kids. Fortunately noone was unkind enough to return the 'favour' when I had my own.

my 80 year old mother said, "If you buy her chips, I'm getting in the car, and I'm going home, and I'm leaving you here."

Heh – my mum (now in her 70s) recounts how she lost her rag with the aforementiond nephews. The situation involved a cinema cafe & one…

The shop I work at is adjacent to the Dunedin North McDonald's and there is a steady stream through the drive-through, which is always nose-to-tail from 12 – 2.

Also, the amount of…

Another great piece David. We've got equally indulgent aunties but I think/hope kids know how to differentiate their behaviour to fit the circumstances.

but... how will they support one in his dotage?

We'll work something out.

Er, no.

but... how will they support one in his dotage?

Would you be available to uncle children outside of your bloodline?

are they likely to grow up to become wealthy?

Er, no. Plus becoming wealthy generally is the domain of the uncle himself.

Well, I've got a rather pleasant niche in the family ecology — the Big Gay Eccentric Cardigan-Wearing 'Uncle' who says 'no' a lot,

My brother and his partner have a less fierce but occasionally problematic possie in our family: they're the playful big uncles who, when they give…

Would you be available to uncle children outside of your bloodline?

are they likely to grow up to become wealthy?

heh. i let the neices eat chicken nuggets but never give them any gifts except books.

i also use work gear to record and edit stories to send them to them on CD.

Would you be available to uncle children outside of your bloodline?

i also use work gear to record and edit stories to send them to them on CD.

i expect all this exuberance will wear off by the time i a parent myself.

Yessss... My ability to be a cool aunt is sort of hampered by my brother's determination to be cool uncle to his own daughter.

Well, I've got a rather pleasant niche in the family ecology — the Big Gay Eccentric Cardigan-Wearing 'Uncle' who says 'no' a lot, prefers sushi to…

What is it with kids & McDonalds?

While I can't say I like it, the people who do the marketing, branding, design work, and create the public image of McDonalds are masters at what they do.

Even in my relatively resistant brain they stand above other takeaway places that I actually…

"Maybe a child," said Jennifer uncertainly.

thats sweeeeet.

aND i BELLOWED AT ONE STAGE "wE'RE NOT "QUAXING" GOING TO "QUAXING" MCdONALDS EAT YOUR "quaxing" donut & be "quaxing" GRATEFUL!

Yessss... My ability to be a cool aunt is sort of hampered by my brother's determination to be cool uncle to his own daughter. After several years of observation of…

What is it with kids & McDonalds?

Network effect. Even if you don't go there, some of their little frinds will demand their birthday there and they get hooked.

Also, McDonalds advertise heavily to kids. I'm not at home, so I can't give you the cite, but I can give you…