Public Address | Cafe | Southerly: Sir Roger Tipped As New Minister for Zoos

BenWilson

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 16:55:03 +1300

Classic mate. Wasn't something like this the plot of "Fierce Creatures", the sequel to "A Fish Called Wanda"? The billionaire buying the zoos was even a NZer! Although I'm sure they were actually piss-taking Rupert Murdoch or Kerry Packer. Perhaps any animals that have to actually be shot could be…

Elizabeth

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 12:10:04 +1300

Also laughing. Thanks, David. I'm sure you're right. That's definitely it. I particularly like the orange glow when he's wearing the mustard jacket. I can read a book in the resulting light thrown out from the TV. It's positively radioactive.

Sofie Bribiesca

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 11:15:44 +1300

LOL.

An excellent question. I also find myself quite hypnotized by Rodney's new complexion.

He went swimming across the Harbour on Sunday and knew of the photo op . I am still laughing out loud David, you often help my day along :)))

Sofie Bribiesca

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 11:08:18 +1300

See Having your kiwi and eating it too, a 2004 speech by then ACT MP Gerry Eckhoff:

mmmm kiwi burgers,
so tender.

giovanni tiso

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 10:31:35 +1300

My personal theory is that he's trying to cash in on the 'Obama effect' as identified by Silvio Berlusconi: "... young, handsome and even tanned..."

You had to stab me right in the kidneys, didn't you?

David Haywood

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 10:28:31 +1300

Elizabeth wrote:

And can someone please explain to me why Rodney Hide is orange???

An excellent question. I also find myself quite hypnotized by Rodney's new complexion.

My personal theory is that he's trying to cash in on the 'Obama effect' as identified by Silvio Berlusconi: "... young, handsome and…

Elizabeth

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 09:15:56 +1300

Joe – agreed!

And can someone please explain to me why Rodney Hide is orange??? It's deeply disturbing and puts me off my dinner.

Joe Wylie

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 09:09:16 +1300

. . . let's hope that Key chap has the cojones to stick to the promises that sucked the gullible Kiwis in and keep Douglas away from any influence.

Speaking of which, has Douglas bet his left testicle yet that he'll be given a bauble befitting his sense of self-importance?…

Rich of Observationz

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 08:56:36 +1300

Wellington Zoo survived the unfortunate biosecurity incident documented in Braindead – now Roger's going to finally f**k it up. Bloody zombies!

Elizabeth

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 08:44:57 +1300

This is hilarious, David. And the replies are so funny too. Scary thing is how real a prospect it is now.
I am waiting for the shock therapy to start now in NZ. A financial crisis (requisite disaster for Friedman apologists). Five scary neocon's in Govt. Wait for it....let's hope…

Ross Mason

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 21:11:28 +1300

Every Zoo in the country should beware. Zoozan Wood, Zoozan Couch (now Winstone is gorn), Zoozan Kedgley (the Big Mac she has in her washhouse would feed a zoo for years). It wouldn't do though. Lions ravishing corn fields for sustanance just isn't a goer...

But isn't it incredible that…

Bart Janssen

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 16:46:40 +1300

"Obviously, it's only a small step from Minister of Zoos to Minister of Tertiary Education,"

Leaked documents recently indicated that ACT's plans for tertiary funding have been modeled closely on the the soon to be wildly successful Zoo model.

By replacing complex funding rounds full of detailed scientific and commercial…

Jason Kemp

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 16:15:35 +1300

I thought Roger was wonderful theatre just a week too late for Halloween though.

The concrete dragon at Auckland zo is easily the most popular attraction there. Oops hope no-one for Act is reading this...

The zoo story reminds me of another story I came across regarding an orchestra and…

Tim Michie

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 15:24:03 +1300

Surely a zoo's assets should depreciate over time?

That Turtle Soup roght there. Or rather, here.

And popular or not, that dragon is clearly sedimentary...

Benjamin Franzmayr

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 12:00:28 +1300

You could feed a lot of meercats with those hippos.

Joe Wylie

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 10:51:47 +1300

New Zealand will become one big zoo, filled with exotic animals, not all of which are deadly.

Where have I heard that economic model before?
Pokemon, I'm gonna catch 'em all . . .

Paul Litterick

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 10:34:46 +1300

Guys, we need to think outside the cage here. Yes, that's it! Let the animals loose, so they can live in the community. Then we all become strategic stakeholders in the zoo enterprise. New Zealand will become one big zoo, filled with exotic animals, not all of which are deadly.

dc_red

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 05:30:31 +1300

For too long, zoos have made inefficient choices, selecting sleepy animals that provide minimal entertainment value. There's a reason children, who know their own interests, flock to the meercats while leaving the big cats – such as the somnambulist lion – asleep under the concrete baobab tree.

Those tiger cubs…

tussock

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 03:09:54 +1300

Meanwhile, from the Hollow Men Consultation Corporation, Ltd.

Oh, come now, zoos are a tired policy, we need a change.

...

What? That is a complete policy paper. You can trust me, I'm a banker. No, they went bankrupt after I left. Did I mention I wanted to be Prime…

George Darroch

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 01:22:18 +1300

Political Correctness gone mad!

It's time to remove the rules and regulation surrounding zoos, which are an assault on our rights.

People should be allowed to visit zoos without the state interfering in their lives and mandating unfair and costly 'fences' and 'moats', which harm the livelihoods of small zoo…

David Haywood

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 00:52:31 +1300

Paul Litterick wrote:

In the dog-eat-dog world of the modern zoo, it is only the cutest that survive.

That's a good point, Paul. As I understand it, under ACT's proposed plan, the dog-eat-dog system will actually be official zoo policy. I quote from their election manifesto:

As part of our…

Paul Litterick

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 00:26:49 +1300

I think at most zoos the otters and seals would be big winners. Perhaps we could encourage them to take over less well-performing animals and see if they can help them lift their game?

Political Correctness gone mad! Otters and seals punch above their weight because they anthropomorphic. They should not…

Tommy Honey

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 20:58:31 +1300

and now we are blessed with the Coalition of the Wallys...

Jake Pollock

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 17:06:39 +1300

I remember reading an article in early 2001 to the effect that it might not be so bad having Bush as a president, because some great music would come out of it. I think whoever wrote that got more than they bargained for.

Kumara Republic

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 16:57:43 +1300

Like that time when Doonesbury creator Garry Trudeau endorsed Dubya because "he'd be good for the comedy industry."

Phil Sargent

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 16:36:22 +1300

Great post David. Satire is set to become the new growth industry methinks....

Richard Bol

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 15:45:41 +1300

It's funny because it's true. Sigh.

Sadly, it is. What David wrote about has been ACT policy for some time.
See Having your kiwi and eating it too, a 2004 speech by then ACT MP Gerry Eckhoff:

If trade works for so-called exotic introduced species like sheep and cattle, why…

Paul Campbell

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 14:14:24 +1300

But you know then Darwin takes over – I want to be there when he goes into the hippo cage to explain the new management policies .....

Julie Fairey

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 14:10:49 +1300

Well I think it's a little unfair on the hippos and giraffes. But then that's Act for you ;-)

I think at most zoos the otters and seals would be big winners. Perhaps we could encourage them to take over less well-performing animals and see if they can help them…

Dylan Mordaunt

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 13:58:00 +1300

Brilliant. Agree with Danielle, couldn't help but sigh- David Haywood's own 'Animal Farm'.

Jake Pollock

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 13:52:54 +1300

ACT to reinstate law of jungle.

Joe Wylie

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 13:50:44 +1300

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCRbQYWsCRg&feature=related
Here's an industry that I'm sure Roger would agree has huge potential in NZ, and would empower a whole lot of small animals with a sense of purpose that they currently lack. A healthy stack of those special vouchers should get it up and self-sustaining in no time, with…

Danielle

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 13:40:45 +1300

It's funny because it's true. Sigh.

Public Address

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 13:40:45 +1300

Discussion from blog post.