kind of.

As high as 1.9% of the population in recent studies. Regardless of their kayrotype, it's common for intersex people to be…

Also Lantana up near Googe St. Good food.

I have been tempted to do that myself on occasion

I managed to wheedle my way behind a workplace cafe's large machine often driven by self-confessed unskilled staff, only to find it was so automated that there was no room to finesse anything. Harumph.

Does the owner give the free coffee as he sees fit?

I've had that deal going at times with some regular venues – up to them to decide who to donate to, and I get the warm feeling of helping a fellow addict in need.

give the machine a much-needed backflush.

This.

Does he tend to say yes or no based on an evaluation of the person asking? Or is it fairly automatic, anyone who wants a free one can have it?

I don't know the workings quite so intimately, but I think asking if you didn't need to would be frowned…

On the other hand, not drinking alcohol in NZ isn't a…

I really think it's less about not knowing what they're missing and more just an ingrained cultural disinterest in coffee, in the sense of the urban national identity we've elevated our coffee cult(ure) to.

For certain. It's a bit like how most people feel when some car enthusiast criticizes the…

I really think it's less about not knowing what they're missing and more just an ingrained cultural disinterest in coffee, in the sense of the urban national identity we've elevated our coffee cult(ure) to.

This is the part where I tell you all (again! "On the Internet nobody can punch…

Much…

1. It brings better coffee to the poor unfortunate natives, who know not what they drink.
2. It makes you appreciate how hard it actually is to make the kind of coffee we like.

I was on a train and there was a group of extremely smooth 20-year-olds sitting opposite…

Perhaps the solution to London coffee is simply to take your own machine.

A friend of mine got kicked out of a cafe in France by asking to be allowed to make his own coffee. He was still going to pay, but the machine was the regular Gaggia kind and…

I presume you meant *hic* :P

Sorry, perhaps not – for some reason read eeepc as "Epic", not "PC"...

This has two effects:…

(sic)

I presume you meant *hic* :P

But then London is all about chain restaurants and cafes.

Tell me about it already! :)

I never managed to get a decent coffee at Bar Italia. Perhaps just bad…

Of course you could make the point that perhaps our online selves are who really are

I used to be up with all the research on this a few years ago. There's some fairly good arguments that anonymity does crazy things to people online. There's a theory that I used…

1. Monmouth's – They are all over London – specifically Monmouth Street…

equating placing a lamington on John Boscawen's head with "the crimes of the Khmer Rouge"

So, a pink lamington then.

In survey of 1200 New Zealanders by the Drug Foundation, 24.5 per cent said they had driven after taking cannabis in the last year.

Just how widespread is cannabis use in the NZ population?…

I find the idea that he moved to Queensland and has been carrying on from there quite believable

He'd fit in there too.

Redbaiter would be far more effective if he actually had wit, or even if he had a cutting edge.

In that we could at least use him to cut steaks, or open tin cans?

Redbaiter would be far more effective if he actually had wit, or even if he had a cutting edge.

I thought his equating placing a lamington on John Boscawen's head with "the crimes of the Khmer Rouge" was pretty good, until I remembered that he's an irony-free zone.

Not sure about the targets, but I’d have thought Cwaigy and Wussell don’t really land the killer blow. More like a boxing blow to the nuts that doesn’t actually connect.

And,…

On line, he's a cunt. If he wouldn't do the "Cwaigy" commie, fag-baiting routine when I'm in a position to belt him in the mouth, he's a cunt AND a coward.

For or all my flaws, here's something folks who've been on the sharp end of my tongue around here…

...and the rest end up on kiwiblog. I guess DPF's doing us a favour by keeping them all nicely pegged in one place. Imagine if they didn't have anywhere to vent!

Up to a point, Heather. OTOH, I don't think Farrar and The Standard are doing a public service by…

I'm sure there's many reasons why PAS is successful but I suspect that one factor is that most post under their names (though I respect that some don't and…

I take Heather's point and of course it's more complicated than how I put it, but I will say that the people who tell you

"oh, but he (and it's ALWAYS a he) is really a very nice person in spite of his online persona…

You can't go judging them by their online persona, which is often more a representation of their frustrations than their whole person.

...Of course you could make the point that perhaps our online selves are who really are, and we're just too shy to be complete arseholes face to face.

…

Of course you could make the point that perhaps our online selves are who really are, and we're just too shy to be complete arseholes face to face.

I once had a hardarse Essex bloke say to me that nobody called him an asshole, I replied "that's because you're a…

I went there straight off the plane and was seriously disappointed by the experience.

I've heard/read similar comments about Flat White as well. I guess no place is immune to trainee (or even sloppy) baristas; especially in a country that doesn't have much of an espresso culture. Actually, I quite…

Of course you could make the point that perhaps our online selves are who really are, and we're just too shy to be complete arseholes face to face.

Or rather that our online selves are one of many social constructs expected or chosen according to a given occacsion. I suspect…

Are you sure?

Well I was... but 5 years ago trumps my info. Which came from a source who would/should know.

That restaurant episode is quite bizarre.

The estimable Ryan Sproull had a beer with D4J in Christchurch and seems to have had an okay time.

I should answer my own question and say that if I had to choose, I'd choose D4J too. He's all-too-human. I'd guess that irl Redbaiter would just be a thundering bore.

Actually, he's not Russell Fletcher of Tauiranga, Gordon Maclauchlin changed the name to protect the odd.

Are you sure? Redbaiter was identified as Russell Fletcher five years ago here, and seems to be known by that name on Usenet, where he was dispensing his angry wisdom before Kiwiblog even existed.…

With which would you rather have a drink?

As long as they were unarmed, I should think that would be hilarious good times, as a one-off event anyway.

Andrew – that report is quoting Peter Burns – it's only his version. The blogger dad4justice has some rather questionable attitudes to subjects such as women and families.

I guess we will have to wait for the court case.

Oh, you mean the "real" story (that one sounded out there…

No, d4j is Peter Burns, of various South Island addresses. Redbaiter is Russell Fletcher of Tauranga.

Actually, he's not Russell Fletcher of Tauiranga, Gordon Maclauchlin changed the name to protect the odd.

http://www.solopassion.com/node/2385

Was in London for June. I can feel your pain.
If you're in London, you'll have to head into the west end. Monmouth and Bar Italia are still really good,

Bar Italia must have improved again since I was was last there in 2000 then. I went there straight off…

rather questionable attitudes

You mean he blows goats, surely.

With which would you rather have a drink?

I see you are honing your skills at composing referendum questions.

With which would you rather have a drink?

If I'm the one who gets to mix the drinks, I'd happily do it with both.

I guess we will have to wait for the court case.

Isn't d4j some guy from Tauranga called Russell Burns? Is Peter a relative who is doing the hosting, etc?

No, d4j is Peter Burns, of various South Island addresses. Redbaiter is Russell Fletcher of Tauranga.

With which would you rather have a drink?

I've never been to London and LMFAO hearing people bleat about how horrible it is to be there.

Outside of the coffee debate, two items are pertinent: 1) it's my favourite place in the world by a long shot. 2) living there is utter hell.

Isn't d4j some guy from Tauranga called Russell Burns? Is Peter a relative who is doing the hosting, etc?

Nah, you're confusing D4J with Redbaiter.

Either they're ruining their message by getting so aggro that people are scared of them

T'other day, I walked past two MRAs with megaphones on the corner of Wellesley and Queen Streets. I did my best not to listen, but managed to hear 'well, a woman gets all the money…

I don't know anyone with a kindle device. Does anyone?

The fact that they're not sold in New Zealand might contribute to the dearth.

For an example ofd the good guys, Auckland's Rex McCann has spent decades building the Essentially Men…

However, I'm not sure if it's telling or just extremely unfortunate that they turn so militant. Either they're ruining their message by getting…

I usually favour flat whites, but I rapidly switched to double espresso while I was there.

..while I was in London, I mean. Obvs noone except Flat White knows what a flat white is, but generally anything with milk in it was way too milky & insufficiently coffee-y.

to add to that I have yet to find anything approaching decent coffee.

Was in London for June. I can feel your pain.

If you're in London, you'll have to head into the west end. Monmouth and Bar Italia are still really good, but Flat White, on Berwick St, is…

Talk to me guys, it's sad and lonlely here and I am surrounded by the sick and dying.
:-(

That's some seriously bad coffee. The only advice I can give until the expertise of the ex-pats living in the UK arrives is that you might have to be highly specific…

Sacha – is it that Ozzies are so much larger? That their Paul Henrys are hugely more offensive?

it was "just one of those things"

Dick.

One was the neo-Nazis, and the others were the men's rights groups. The latter appeared to be the most immune to reason.

More, or less, immune to reason than these nutbars?
NZH – Terror in name of the family

One was the neo-Nazis, and the others were the men's rights groups. The latter appeared to be the most immune to reason.

Anyway, I doubt the costs were awarded against Easton because of the bank's highly paid lawyers, so much as it was just so obviously a silly case.

Should have said "a bloody stupid case against a bank" – I didn't mean it was a case of justice being bought outright…

wow, reading that reminds me a whole lot of The Castle. "there is no one section... it's... just the vibe... of the thing".

That's what you get when you take a case against a bank, I guess.

The banks' have lost…

The Human Rights Commission have dismissed Easton’s follow up complaint against the Bank saying that there is no provision in the Human Rights Act giving them the authority to engage the Bank. “That is just a load of dog’s bollocks” says an unreserved Easton.

“The reason I am in…

That's what you get when you take a case against a bank, I guess. Unfortunately, I doubt this outcome is going to change Mr Easton's views with regards to the alleged lesbian conspiracy holding the levers of our government and courts.

EASTON V HUMAN RIGHTS COMMISSION And Ors HC WN CIV 2009-485-726 [13 July 2009]

Just reading a case in which some fucktard from the Father's Coalition tried to judicially review BNZ's sponsorship of a campaign against domestic violence as unlawful discrimination against men under the Bill of Rights and Human Rights Acts.…

Brickley is right in that it's not a real farmers market, and they don't yet have many…

Now I just have to figure out how to install Net Nanny or one of those thingies.…

Dyan and Sam are both causing snerkfests over here. Heh.

Of course it's been done much better before but I couldn't resist...

And yea, you shall know him... by his homemade felafel.

Standards are slipping. Used to be the quality of your home-grown produce, now we're down to falafel. Tragic, really.

Dyan and Sam are both causing snerkfests over here. Heh.

Why thank you kindly Danielle. I pride myself in coming from the smart alec capital of the world (Vancouver).
To give Morgan his due

I don't need to be reminded that my wallet is tick tick ticking away the years,…

Yet he is superior in some ineffable way!

Now there's a challenge, denizens, go forth and find the ineffable and eff it..

IT'S MY GODS DAMNED WALLET TO DO WITH AS I PLEASE.

Quite. Just mind those barbed wire fences.

I was there with my partner and the human evidence of our own pelvic affiliation! Don't get me wrong. What I didn't like was the parade of wankers with big sunglasses and expensive buggies

Attention, denizens of Grey Lynn Farmers…

MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS. IT'S MY GODS DAMNED WALLET TO DO WITH AS I PLEASE.

Heh, exactly Morgan, we ovaried ones – whatever stage of decrepitude they're in – most heartily understand and agree.

We must remember that it's BIOLOGY and SCIENCE, and it should be recognised as helpful when women remind you that you risk both the health of your unborn children and the genes of your descendants when you choose to delay fatherhood.

I don't need to be reminded that my wallet…

As a 41 year old single man I think I can hear a door slamming in the distance.

Well, I wouldn't worry too much – there are many, many examples of older (some very old) men fathering perfectly healthy children that do not go on to have descendants with x-linked…

Sigh ... and here's me thinking the sight of lots of families and kids playing on the playground in the sunshine was nice. Never mind.

I didn't say it wasn't! I was there with my partner and the human evidence of our own pelvic affiliation!…

I always thought a huge chunk of the not-sprogging-with-close-rellies thing is about family structure rather than genetics

Replace "family structure" with "abuse", and you have a stronger point. The power dynamics within a family make the boundary between coercion and consent so dubious (even for legal adults) that the only…

Some of this conversation brought this to mind:

I will treasure this so very much.

However, it can work other ways too. Of the many other women doing PhDs at round the same time as me, three others (like me) already had young children. One of these was a solo…

And yet it is mainly those nasty unnatural left handers wee hear about. Odd, eh?

I've always thought they were sinister.

genetic diseases related to advanced paternal age, but they include:
Dominant disorders:
Wilms tumour, thanatophoric dysplasia, retinitis pigmentosa, osteogenisis imperfecta type IIA, acrodysostosis, achondroplasia, Apert’s disease, fibrodysplasia ossificans progressiva,…

End of everything? Nope – start of something WAY more satisfying than simply going on the munt together.

Indeed. When our kids were little we socialised a lot with friends who also had little kids, both because we had similar needs (ie: daytime) and because little kids can't refuse to…

One attitude I notice in a lot of people in their 20s and 30s is the idea that having kids is the end of everything.

After four days on the sunny Awhitu Peninsula (Where? Exactly!) with a dozen thirtysomethings, 3 babies and a 5 year old, I'll give that attitude…

It occurs to me that the "New Parent" industry is not unlike the the weddings industry.......the debts...the horror.....

Turning what should be a profound and life-affirming transition into a bottomless pit of anxiety and self-loathing. Just like Christmas. :)

Don't underestimate the massive social pressure just to have kids

Oy... and how. I've had a few "What part of homosexual and sterile do I have to translate into interpretive dance?" conversations. They'd be funny, if it wasn't so creepy and utterly impertinent.

The problem is that as a first time parent you're a bit nervous, and one way to allay that is to buy all the "proper" equipment. Cue $1600 Bug-A-Boo, etc.

Heh. This one rang the cherries.

Most marketing aimed at parents to be and new parents seems to go something…

The evolutionary reason for breast/nipple fixation is pretty obvious though. Which mothers are best prepared for breastfeeding and least likely to get mastitis? Those who have had a lot of breast/nipple attention from their partners.

Don't underestimate the massive social pressure just to have kids

Yes. This. I wish it would stop. Forlorn hope.

Thank you for the reassurances and stuff, everyone. (I kinda wish statistics worked the way Ben suggested. Still, que sera sera and all that.)

Something that bothers us both, is that on my insistence he will be the only one – something that is clearly frowned on in some areas of society.

And you know where those areas can stick that one, right?

My two personal worries are that little bloke may not enjoy…

(I must collect all these bingo cards for posterity in a folder somewhere.)

One attitude I notice in a lot of people in their 20s and 30s is the idea that having kids is the end of everything.

I heard a rep from one of those fancy baby stroller companies talking about their new range of strollers made with a graffiti-style fabric. He…

http://punkassblog.com/2007/10/25/evolutionary-psychology-bingo/

heh.

The brief dalliance with the carrycot is now over. Baby is…

The odds look fine until you're on the left hand side of the ratio.

Um you do realise some pretty similar facts apply to right handers, right?

And yet it is mainly those nasty unnatural left handers wee hear about. Odd, eh?

I thought the car seats were courtesy of the dreaded liquor licensing trust? Or does the council pony up as well?

'Tis just the Trust as far as I know, and it runs the scheme through Plunket.

I think you pay a nominal amount – $20 or something. We have…

Almost all of the females that I have been involved with talked about "having children one day" in a way that really meant "sometime in a decade perhaps".

Speaking from personal experience, I wonder how many of these young women mean "I don't really want children". It took me a…

But, on the other hand disability itself is not tragedy. I met some amazing young people with Downs a couple of weeks ago that any parents would be proud of. And they also want a career and to be carers, not cared for.

Sometimes young Downs people and their parents…

Danielle, congrats. you will be 20 years younger than my mother in law was when she had her last child.

Whoops, I mean 10 years younger. I'd like to plead typo, but to be honest it's really poor math skills.

Danielle. Despite how old you may occasionally feel, 34 ain't that old to be a babyz momma

That's for sure!

Danielle, congrats. you will be 20 years younger than my mother in law was when she had her last child. Both mother and child healthy, complication free.

She did, however…

Steve Parks – XY intersex people are frequently brought up as female (especially if the genitalia are tiny/ambiguous or some parts surgically removed in infanthood...approximately 1 in 1000 people are intersex individuals.

Thanks, Islander. Yes, I completely concede to the point Lucy and you made on that. I was just…

OTOH, flimsy little pushchairs are very light when you need to carry them.

You have a point there. The Wilson la Dauphine (pram) didn't do steps or buses. However there weren't too many of either in Taupo.

Like I said earlier, we had to deal with this issue first-hand (trisomy 21, plus multiple deformities, to be exact), and it frankly fucks me right off that I'm unable to have a grown-up conversation about it around certain groups of people without pussy-footing around the whole career/carer debate

This…

and the genetics stuff in this thread has now encouraged my usual 'OMG I'm 34' worrying streak to broaden its scope to 'OMG my husband is 38'. So... thanks, everyone? Because I wasn't panicking enough already, or anything. Heh.

It's cool, I don't yet know 400 people that have had…

Waitakere City gives all residents free car seats for their kids

That's the kind of wasteful socialist rate-bloat that the new super-city will put a stop to.

Waitakere City gives all residents free car seats for their kids

I thought the car seats were courtesy of the dreaded liquor licensing trust? Or does the council pony up as well?

:) This might be old news, but congrats Danielle.

Thank you. :) It's reasonably new news actually, and…

What I'd like to know is about the ones who are having babies and how they're managing that and what the lab's doing to accomodate it.

Being ever-so-close to finishing the fid (if my supervisors would just be so good as to get their comments back to me...): I enrolled…

Apropos the prams: doncha hate it when they get flat tyres! dragging it downto the garage to pump it up etc.

Ahem.. .the Babyjogger City Mini, again, laughs at your flat tyres. They're not hard plastic, they are some lovely closed-cell foam thing. Just as smooth and quiet as pneumatic…

If you quantify risk, advanced paternal age carries much greater risk to the general population than advanced maternal age because of x-linked recessive diseases.

Despite much of the thread getting silly, I wasn't aware of this, so thanks for the info.

Russell, I really don't like holding other people's babies…

what useful objects is it ok to be visibly pleased with?

Do not say dildos do not say dildos do not say dildos... ah, screw it.

On older people and childbearing, I wonder how many generations we need to do this before we start evolving to accommodate it ?

I'm pretty sure that's not how evolution works.

In general, promoting outbreeding is much better for all involved. Having kids over 40 repeatedly over the generations does not multiply the risk, so it's not really in the same basket.

Thank you Lucy. Absolutely correct. If you quantify risk, advanced paternal age carries much greater risk to the general…

Thankfully there's some serious technology to assist the process…

However, the spontaneous mutation/deformity rate for mothers older than 40 is actually higher.

If we were actually rational be would ban both or neither. But of course we aren't.

From a pure biological perspective, I agree (that we should ban neither, that is) and first-cousin marriage isn't actually illegal. Intermittent…

Like I said earlier, we had to deal with this issue first-hand (trisomy 21, plus multiple deformities, to be exact), and it frankly fucks me right off that I'm unable to have a grown-up conversation about it around certain groups of people without pussy-footing around the whole career/carer debate.

You…

On one hand, it's rare and valuable that we can even have these arguments here.

It's lead me to conclude that farmers markets ain't nothin' but trouble, and will stick to buying my breads and vegetables from the supermarket.

Thankfully, umbrage is something we don't often take in these forums, but if and when we do, I would think that People For Whom These Statistics Are Not Theoretical would be as well-respected hereabouts as Women Tired Of Being Reminded Ad Nauseam About Importance Of Procreating ASAP.

Fair enough. Sorry,…

Thankfully, umbrage is something we don't often take in these forums, but if and when we do, I would think that People For Whom These Statistics Are Not Theoretical would be as well-respected hereabouts as Women Tired Of…

Or perhaps it's not sexism, but biology, to suggest that it's better for women to conceive a bit younger than they've been trending towards?

Just a thought...

We have a law (and generally accepted abhorrence?) about procreation between brother and sister or first cousins. The rational basis behind this is…

He should have said "people" where he said "women" and it would have been fine.

Actually, that is exactly what I was thinking about the original comment. No time to stay with this today, sadly.

breakfast burritos

Mmmmm. Breakfast burritos. With awesome sausage.

... sorry, what were you all saying?

He should have said "people" where he said "women" and it would have been fine.

Amen.

I just re-read Morgan's initial post, which appears to be making that point "let's talk about an actual issue". And he gets flamed into oblivion by people accusing him of telling them what to do with their bodies, which he explicitly did not.

The problem is Morgan is expressing a…

When I rule…

Isnt overpopulation a global problem? If people are taking time and…

On Mondays I'm a little busy, 'kay?

I feel your pain, Giovanni. I go away for like a day, and come back to find:

I increasingly feel that many Gen X & Y women feel entitled to everything without having to give up years of partying and travel to have babies…

Ben, I'm very sorry about what happened to you and your partner. Truly.

On a thirty-second tone reconsider: yeah, I second that, and your experience is important to know about. Sharing that isn't, and would never have been, what the debate was about here.

Or it might actually be as Peter described it ...

Quite possibly, though the truth probably lies somewhere in between. I've already thought about the fact that if I have kids, I'm quite likely going to be juggling my post-doc and babies. But being told cautionary tales about the ticking…

Or it might actually be as Peter described it It was a reasonable observation, made in good faith, and hardly at odds with women being aware of their choices.

Russell, I really don't like holding other people's babies at all, and I'm *pregnant*. (I might break the little homeslice!) I…

And he gets flamed into oblivion by people accusing him of telling them what to do with their bodies, which he explicitly did not.

He didn't get flamed into oblivion, his first sentence was a smartarse bit of baiting and he did contribute substantially to the tone of the exchange.…

Or... they could dislike holding babies. Some people do, you know. They could actually not want children. Some people don't, you know. Etc

Or it might actually be as Peter described it. It was a reasonable observation, made in good faith, and hardly at odds with women being aware of…

Yes the initial "40 yo first time parent" comment was a troll, but it sparked what I see as an interesting topic: fertility issues…

The sound of ticking body clocks was deafening in that room along with the strain of them not being listened to.

Or... they could dislike holding babies. Some people do, you know. They could actually not want children. Some people don't, you know. Etc.

old/fat/bald/disgusting

Yeah, no one should ever…

I increasingly feel that many Gen X & Y women feel entitled to everything without having to give up years of partying and travel to have babies in their 20's or early 30's.

Yes, as others have pointed out, because us h0rz who might…

On second thoughts – would this be a good time for a godwin?

There is never a good time.

Unless you've seen Inglourious Basterds?

Morgan, you don't seem to be making any attempt to grasp the point here. Which is that the women here know a shitload more about their reproductive options than you or Andre ever will.

Russell, you're so wide of the mark in characterising what I think or grasp that you're…

how many women of a fertile age (say, 18 to 35) would want to have a baby with some old geezer?

F**k I wish I could think of stuff like that. :)

And here's something to consider – while a 50-year-old man can get a woman pregnant, how many women of a fertile age (say, 18 to 35) would want to have a baby with some old geezer?

You mean there isn't an equation where the how old/fat/bald/disgusting line intersects with the…

Here's a thought. If it's a decision that you're not directly affected by the consequences of, why not, say, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS?

Can a brother get a 'FUCKING' in there somewhere? Seriously, it seems I cannot leave you guys alone on Mondays... Last week it was Graeme with his…

And it did. Morgan, you don't seem to be making any attempt to grasp the point here. Which is that the women here know…

I misplaced mine (selfless maternal instincts) somewhere while dreaming of the all-partying, all-the-time PhD student lifestyle in exciting foreign places. Has anyone seen them?

Scene: the coffee/seminar room of a science lab. A female postdoc has brought in her newborn offspring for introductions. Gathered is a selection of…

I may not be alone in this.

Fact is, having a baby later (for both sexes) increases issues. Are we allowed to discuss this or is it banned?

Of course it's not *banned*. This is clearly, as Lucy said, all about the context. (I would like to thank Lucy for her sterling work on this thread, particularly…

My mother had her kids (quite a few of us!)between 20 & 30: that kind of intensive childbearing (9…