Field Theory by Hadyn Green

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Field Theory: Settle a bet

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  • Jeremy Andrew,

    You're a wizard, Harry.

    Wingardium leviosa!

    Hamiltron - City of the F… • Since Nov 2006 • 900 posts Report Reply

  • BlairMacca,

    I can't argue with that one, I loved that film

    Loved it, I expected it to be an american rip off of Shaun of the Dead, which it kinda was, but still ridiculously good.

    Wellington • Since Apr 2007 • 208 posts Report Reply

  • philipmatthews,

    Last ten years?

    Zoolander.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2007 • 656 posts Report Reply

  • BlairMacca,

    I avoided Monty Python for years when all I'd heard was geeks saying stuff like "He's not the messiah!!! He's a very naughty boy!!!! lolz".

    "Excuse me. Are you the Judean People's Front?
    Fuck off! We're the People's Front of Judea"

    Wellington • Since Apr 2007 • 208 posts Report Reply

  • MikeE,

    oh yeah, and "In the loop" has some great ones too, he will hate me for saying this, but the Character of Malcolm Tucker reminds me of a certain Act Party staffer who used to be in Labour in the 80s.

    :-P

    Malcolm Tucker: Within your 'purview'? Where do you think you are, some fucking regency costume drama? This is a government department, not some fucking Jane fucking Austen novel! Allow me to pop a jaunty little bonnet on your purview and ram it up your shitter with a lubricated horse cock!

    ===============

    Malcolm Tucker: Just fucking do it! Otherwise you'll find yourself in some medieval war zone in the Caucasus with your arse in the air, trying to persuade a group of men in balaclavas that sustained sexual violence is not the fucking way forward!

    ===============

    Malcolm Tucker: Well, it is out there, it's out there now, lurking like a big hairy rapist at a coach station. You know, if I could, I'd punch you into paralysis!


    ===============

    Washington DC • Since Nov 2006 • 138 posts Report Reply

  • MikeE,

    and who could forget this awesome bit of dialogue..

    Nigel Tufnel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and...
    Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?
    Nigel Tufnel: Exactly.
    Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?
    Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?
    Marty DiBergi: I don't know.
    Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
    Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.
    Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.
    Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?
    Nigel Tufnel: [pause] These go to eleven.

    Washington DC • Since Nov 2006 • 138 posts Report Reply

  • rustyskates,

    Nah, it doesn't have the same versatility as "There is no [whatever], only Zuul"

    Are you the Keymaster?

    Also, @DavidRitchie: I love that quote with all my heart. I LOLed at the time, and I'm LOLing now.

    Since Mar 2009 • 6 posts Report Reply

  • David Mir,

    Tarantino or Guy Ritchie anyone? Take all the quotable lines out of Pulp Fiction, Snatch, or Lock Stock... and you'd be left with silent movies.
    Edit: realised only Snatch makes it into the 10 year qualification. Still:

    Brick Top: Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible cunt... me.

    Brick Top: In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary... come again?

    Turkish: You take sugar?
    Brick Top: No thank you, Turkish; I'm sweet enough.

    Bullet Tooth Tony: Boris the Blade? As in Boris the Bullet-Dodger?
    Avi: Why do they call him the Bullet-Dodger?
    Bullet Tooth Tony: 'Cause he dodges bullets, Avi.

    Avi: Eighty-six carats.
    Rosebud: Where?
    Avi: London.
    Rosebud: London?
    Avi: London.
    Avi's Colleague: London?
    Avi: Yes, London. You know: fish, chips, cup 'o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary fucking Poppins... LONDON.

    Bullet Tooth Tony: So, you are obviously the big dick. The men on the side of ya are your balls. Now there are two types of balls. There are big brave balls, and there are little mincey faggot balls.
    Vinny: These are your last words, so make them a prayer.
    Bullet Tooth Tony: Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two little mincey faggot balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties muddled up. There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with you. And the fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your guns...
    [Zoom in on the side of Sol's gun, which indeed has "REPLICA" etched on the side; zoom out, as they sneak peeks at the sides of their guns]
    Bullet Tooth Tony: And the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O"...
    [Withdraws his gun and puts it on the table]
    Bullet Tooth Tony: Written down the side of mine...
    [They look, zoom in on the side of his gun, which indeed has "DESERT EAGLE .50" etched on the side]
    Bullet Tooth Tony: Should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... Fuck off!

    Brick Top: Listen, you fucking fringe, if I throw a dog a bone, I don't want to know if it tastes good or not. You stop me again whilst I'm walking, and I'll cut your fucking Jacobs off.

    Brick Top: I don't care if he's Muhammad I'm hard Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.

    Brick Top: You're on thin fucking ice my pedigree chums, and I shall be under it when it breaks. Now, fuck off.

    Brick Top: You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.
    Sol: Would someone mind telling me, who are you?
    Brick Top: And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

    Brick Top: Feed 'em to the pigs, Errol.

    Sydney • Since Jan 2007 • 17 posts Report Reply

  • Josh Addison,

    "Hand me the keys, you fucking cocksucker." More than ten years old, but still a classic.

    And yes, I can quote most of Star Wars verbatim, not because it's especially quotable, but because when I was six years old, my parents bought the soundtrack on LP (!), then copied it onto a cassette tape, which I listened to until it broke. Literally.

    Apparently, my wife and her brother used to randomly fling quotes from Ghostbusters 1 and 2 at each other when they were kids: "Hairless pets -- weird." "Back off, man, I'm a scientist!" And so on.

    Onehunga, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 298 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    @Robyn
    When me and my friends quote films it usually in relation to some real life event. "Mother Pussbucket" "I've got a bad feeling about this" etc. I also don't like people who quote movies simply as a reference. It's a bit like people who quote Shakespeare.

    You're a wizard, Harry.
    Wingardium leviosa!

    Please sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the thread :)

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report Reply

  • Josh Addison,

    And as far as TV goes, The Simpsons replaced The Bible some time ago as the source that has a quote for any occasion.

    Onehunga, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 298 posts Report Reply

  • BlairMacca,

    "I do not, for one, think that the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem *may* have been, that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being *crushed* by a *dwarf*. Alright? That tended to understate the hugeness of the object."

    Wellington • Since Apr 2007 • 208 posts Report Reply

  • Jeremy Andrew,

    Please sir...

    In my defence, I have kids...

    Hamiltron - City of the F… • Since Nov 2006 • 900 posts Report Reply

  • Jeremy Andrew,

    I do not think that word means what you think it means

    Hamiltron - City of the F… • Since Nov 2006 • 900 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    In my defence, I have kids...

    heh, yeah I was just thinking there are gonna be kids who will be saying that around their offices when they grow up.

    Except my poor kids who will be watching nothing but Star Wars, Indiana Jones and a collection of Bill Murray films.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    And as far as TV goes, The Simpsons replaced The Bible some time ago as the source that has a quote for any occasion.

    The Simpsons (and to a certain extent Seinfeld) has usable speech patterns as well. For example:

    I want you to [verb] that [noun]. (shakes fist) [veeerrrbbb] it!

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report Reply

  • BlairMacca,

    I want you to [verb] that [noun]. (shakes fist) [veeerrrbbb] it!

    "Shake harder boy!!!"

    Wellington • Since Apr 2007 • 208 posts Report Reply

  • Lucy Stewart,

    It also depends what *counts* as a movie quote. I could recite a bunch of lines from Lord of the Rings or, to go with two of the last three movies I've actually managed to see in the theatre, Star Trek or Sherlock Holmes. But most of those lines were, well, written by other people at least fifty years ago. They're memorable, and in the case of Holmes probably at least somewhat unknown to the general public, but they're not novel.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2105 posts Report Reply

  • Josh Addison,

    "Hey, fuckface. First of all, I want you to take a step back and LITERALLY FUCK YOUR OWN FACE!"

    Tom Cruise makes up for a multitude of past sins. Not all of them, obviously, but some.

    Onehunga, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 298 posts Report Reply

  • David Ritchie,

    What was with Les Grossman having such a big role at the MTV Movie Awards this week? Possible answers: a/ Tom Cruise generating positive buzz for next film, b/ Tom Cruise generating positive buzz for Tom Cruise.

    Since Nov 2006 • 166 posts Report Reply

  • David Mir,

    In Bruges Deserves a mention too for these pearlers:

    Ken: Your girlfriend's very pretty.
    Jimmy: She's ain't my girlfriend. She's a prostitute I just picked up.
    Ken: I was not aware that there were any prostitutes in Bruges.
    Jimmy: You just have to look in the right places... brothels are good.
    Ken: Well, you've picked up a very pretty prostitute.
    Jimmy: Thank you.

    Ray: What are they doing over there? They're filming something. They're filming midgets!

    Ken: Harry, let's face it. And I'm not being funny. I mean no disrespect, but you're a cunt. You're a cunt now, and you've always been a cunt. And the only thing that's going to change is that you're going to be an even bigger cunt. Maybe have some more cunt kids.

    Ray: One gay beer for my gay friend, one normal beer for me because I am normal.

    Ken: We shall strike a balance between culture and fun.
    Ray: Somehow I believe, Ken, that the balance shall tip in the favor of culture, like a big fat fucking retarded fucking black girl on a see-saw opposite... a dwarf.

    Ken: [standing up to leave and picking up his coat] Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf. I think I'm heading home.

    Ray: I saw your midget today. Little prick didn't even say hello.
    Chlo: Well, he's on a lot of ketamine.
    Ray: What's that?
    Ray: Um, horse tranquilizer.
    Ray: Horse tranquilizer? Where'd he get that?
    Chlo: I sold it to him.
    Ray: You can't sell horse tranquilizers to a midget!

    Sydney • Since Jan 2007 • 17 posts Report Reply

  • Isabel Hitchings,

    Movies I can quote? anything I've seen more than three times, in the last five years, with people who like to quote the same movie. In other words when I was younger and childless and watching movies was my main social activity then I could quote a lot more than I can now.

    My kids, however, can do whole Harry Potter movies and Doctor Who episodes.

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 719 posts Report Reply

  • George Darroch,

    I know the lines better from movies I haven't seen. Trailers are awesome these days.

    I don't know why you'd want plot or narrative, or pay money to sit in the dark for two hours. Sit back, relax, and let your mind go blank.

    WLG • Since Nov 2006 • 2264 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    My favourite movie quote is from Donkey in Shrek, which I tend to quote on Saturday nights when I agree that we can have waffles for breakfast the next morning.

    And occasionally when preparing onions.

    (I also have kids)

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • Josh Addison,

    Trailers are awesome these days.

    Except for the trailers to horror movies, which seem to delight in spoiling the ending. Quarantine, Paranormal Activity, I'm looking at you...

    Onehunga, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 298 posts Report Reply

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