I reckon it's just as likely that the site doesn't recognise you as being NZ-based. If you're running through an offshore proxy server or something like that, that would probably screw it up.

It doesn't work for me in Firefox. Try IE.

Hmm. How... stupid really... to present the pre-advert in one format/method, and then the actual content in another.

Then i don't recommend clicking that link in the post.

Is it just me? Every time I try and watch footage through the TVNZ website, it shows me the adverts, but not the actual footage. Just stops after the adverts, no error message, nothing. I feel like I've been screwed…

Golly yes!

but I was too star struck to ask him about his mum

So I am...whoops. I stood in an elevator next to Larry Hagman once..does that make up for it?

Golly yes!

And JR's mother no less

You're thinking of Mary Martin

So I am...whoops. I stood in an elevator next to Larry Hagman once..does that make up for it?

And JR's mother no less

You're thinking of Mary Martin

I'd have to disagree. Sure, it's a spectacle, but it's not as if values and ethics and politics don't enter into it, .

Sounds like Andrew Lloyd Webber to me...

given the broader significance of the event that is being introduced

I think the opening ceremony has long since left…

O Craig, "pious sanctimony"? Ouch.

Mark: OK, possibly a little harsh. But, hell,my outrage-o-meter gets a little more excited over drug cheats and the kind of 'Olympic spirit' behind the scenes where outright bribery seems to be the order of the day when it comes to securing hosting rights. I'm…

And the opening ceremony is always showbiz..it's a production, pure and simple and should be treated as such.

I'd have to disagree. Sure, it's a spectacle, but it's not as if values and ethics and politics don't enter into it, given the broader significance of the event that is being…

But what the Chinese have apparently chosen to do is present a fantasy cutey cutey girl singer who conforms with Western notions of what pretty Chinese girls should look like. How dare they?

Sounds pretty much like half the pop 'acts' on the radio at any given time. You don't…

if Michael Phelps suddenly decided to break away from the United States and declare himself a sovereign nation, he’d currently be joint-fourth in the medals table at the Olympics — level with the U.S.

Ummm. Two aspects of this. First up the frowny serious bit. Original post (tongue in cheek?) attempts to excuse what the Chinese have done – in faking aspects of the opening ceremony.

Sorry for the whorish self-promotion, but I do touch on this in my PAR piece this…

US audiences were subjected to further trickery when NBC changed the order in which the athletes were shown marching in, presumably to keep viewers from switching off once the Americans had arrived. They were caught out when the "live" telecast…

The IOC rules say gymnasts must be 16 to compete at the Olympics, and these girls are seemingly 14

Yeah, this is what I would be worried about. Actual cheating.

However, there may be a statute of limitations on this kind of thing. We all remember Paul Hamm from the…

So, for all of those who are still…

On another note, anyone else taking bets on whether or not the director of the opening ceremony is about to be sent to some gulag in sibera for embarrassing china in front of the world ;)

Taking the bobble thingies off the epees in the fencing would be a start.

We stopped using those about ten years ago, if that makes you feel better. And they're not wearing kevlar out there for fun and overheating, y'know.

I like Peter Montgomery too – he is so openly keen, supportive and enthusiastic. Laying it on or not.

Enthusiasm is lovely, but like many virtues it can shade into one hell of a vice very quickly. It's the commentary equivalent of Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music — two whole…

I realise Peter W is hardly at the forefront of modern living, but do people really still do research these days from encyclopaedias made out of paper?

Thank goodness they do. Otherwise history is lost.

If somebody wanted to compare, for example, NZ's rowing golds in 68 and 72, or…

I do like the look of Mark Todd and Gandalf for 2012 though

I also like Peter Williams – and I suspect the paper stuff was part of the press pack – there'd be too much information to have open on seven different TV…

Personally I quite like the idea of having the swimming events in a salt water pool complete with a Great White Shark.

Or even going back to the original…

The second time they cut to him on the first day the desk was covered in books and papers and he clearly wasn't ready so he just turned to the camera and said:

"Welcome back to Beijing, and just look at this mess! (motions at desk) Actually this is my…

I could do it my *&@!# Quax-ing self.

Hooray! Emma picked up the meme!

I like Peter Williams in the presenting role. The second time they cut to him on the first day the desk was covered in books and papers and he clearly wasn't ready so he just turned to…

NIXON: How the [expletive deleted] do I get this [expletive deleted] thing to work here? Testing, testing, one, two, [expletive deleted] three — Rose Mary, can you hear me?

WOODS: Yes, Mr. President.

NIXON: Have the kitchen…

It’s like, f###### chill the f### out

Quite.

On my own not-chilling-out note, I got the closest to psychotic over a commentary during the Dressage this afternoon. Thanks very much, but if I wanted out-loud counting over those pictures, I could do it my *&@!# Quax-ing self.

Almost cathartic in fact.

Got a tattoo me, stab 'im

mmmmm, quite.

Speaking of Gold medals, has anyone actually seen a medal ceremony yet?

Yep, a…

Speaking of Gold medals, has anyone actually seen a medal ceremony yet?

I'd noticed this too.... I think I've seen part of one, but that was probably by mistake :)

What happened to all the standing on the tiered podium, raising flags, and listening to the national anthems??? I assume…

If I start going on about TVNZ's coverage I'll soon be !!!!111 – ing far more than is healthy

you'll be *&@!# Quax-ing

Not trying to threadjack or anything but all the &@! made me think of the Liam Gallagher interview in the Times Online this week. It included this paragraph in…

Is it a weight division? A different boat?

the footprints were truly thrilling – oh hang on they weren't real. Big difference.

They were real, it was just the footage of them that was faked.

So had you been in a helicopter zooming along Beijing's central axis you would have seen something very similar to what they showed.…

I wonder what ancient HDTV owners would have made of this?

Nearly all scenes depicted on pottery show runners competing nude, except for select pieces of armor during the hoplitodromia. Some accounts say early…

Nope – my money's on Milo of Croton

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milo_of_Croton

Has Mr Phelps ever carried a 4-year old cow the length of the stadion, then killed, roasted and eaten it?

Now for some perspective. The modern Olympic Games have been going since 1896. That means there have been 28 (25 in fact, as Wars happened). The actual Olympics did, of course, start around 786…

In my opinion, Phelps is easily the best swimmer of all time. The best Olympian though?

Tom Fordyce at the BBC gives this issue a good workout. As do the comments.

Is is just me or is the last section – "The Actual Sports" – displaying as one long sentence that doesn't really make any sense?

my bad, I'll sort it out.

If I start going on about TVNZ's coverage I'll soon be !!!!111 – ing far more than is healthy

…

*&@!# Quax

For those that are easily offended may I suggest one of these.
NSFW

Enough of that, this is…

Now, if I found out that the timing devices in the athletics were incorrect; or that the diving board wasn't the correct height

or the 100 metres track was only about 100 metres long.

Oh, sorry, that was Sydney.

And there's much fun to be had with the blunt instrument of the naughty word filter/random asterisk generator

I'll say. I managed to use his name seven times in my "complaint" about it.

It was his elbow wasn't it?

I thought so initially, because his forearm went backwards but no, that was a result of the shoulder dislocation.

Poor bastard. I dislocated my shoulder once and even though it went back in in the same movement, it was rather painful.

I saw it…

I know it's not really the same thing, but the similar sports/auto-replace nexus meant it warranted a mention; for the sake of humour, if nothing else.

Yeah, you're right. And there's much fun to be had with the blunt instrument of the naughty word filter/random asterisk generator (it can also…

It was his elbow wasn't it?

Possibly, yes. I didn't want to watch to closely to figure it out.

I still feel a little ill thinking about it.

Then i don't recommend clicking that link in the post.

if they restricted their viewing of sports to Sports Cafe highlights of said Olympics

See the problem with that is that you would then have to watch SportsCafe which is – and I say this with the utmost respect for Jackie and the utmost disdain for Marc "*&@!# Quax" Ellis -…

It was his elbow wasn't it? Despite being shielded by officials from the crowd, we at home were subjected to a slow motion replay. Even the commentator was complaining that we didn't need to see it…

Well, the whole "Tyson Homosexual" thing was the result of the American Family Association's website setting up some automatic global search and replace for 'gay'.

I know it's not really the same thing, but the similar sports/auto-replace nexus meant it warranted a mention; for the sake of humour, if nothing…

Remember "Tyson Homosexual", a few weeks back? TVNZ's message board renders our 1976 5000m Silver medallist thus:

*&@!# Quax

Well, the whole "Tyson Homosexual" thing was the result of the American Family Association's website setting up some automatic global search and replace for 'gay'. (You know, that perfectly decent world the…

*&@!# Quax

I've said that on occasion myself

Amusing story in today's Herald about the Russian women's beach volleyball coach being upset over being beaten by Georgians who are Brazillian by birth.

*&@!# Quax

I must admit I have Michael Phelps fatigue. Sheesh I understand that he is great, do I need to be told that every few minutes.

Well, yes you do Milly. None of us can actually feel an emotion — or at the least the emotion the Teevee Gods deem appropriate…

I must admit I have Michael Phelps fatigue. Sheesh I understand that he is great, do I need to be told that every few minutes. Please NZ win a medal so we can stop the MP obsession please!…

The TVNZ message board is riddled with complaints.

But, looking on the bright side, at least they're not complaining about newsreaders' hair/clothes/diction or whinging about Coronation Street not being on 24/7.

Why is it that sports reporters are almost universally complete f-ing idiots? Or maybe it's just NZ?

I'm starting to think TVNZ is doing a pretty poor job of this. Hardly anything on ONE is live, so many ad breaks (especially at night), many poor programming decisions, idiotic opening ceremony…

Four days in and no medals. Don't panic – like Christmas, they will arrive.

Thanks, David Leggat! Nice to be saved from existential despair before I even know I'm suffering from it.

[1] Or maybe it's just NZ?