We moved around a bit when I was young. Chch, QT, New Plymouth, Te Awamutu, Arapuni - where I first went to school - to name a few. But we also had our home base in Windy Ridge, in Aucks. Loved that neighbourhood. Ol cul-de-sac everyone knows everyone sorta place. Diverse, accepting, loved it.
Home was also the place though, where Dad would come home from weeks on the road and try and fit his brand of...not tough...but.....yunno....love, into a few days before heading off again. Meant you waited for his return with a mix of joy and fear. Mum was the rock, the one who held it all together.
Home was also the place where we waited for the ambo or undertaker to come and take him away. I moved back home after that. Months later, my oldest mate killed himself...home was not so much a place of joy, but of me and my Mum trying to make sense of a pretty horrible world.
Interestingly, my fam and I now live with the ol lady again. She has her house down the bottom end of the property, we're at the top. And I finally feel she is in a home where she is happy again. Independent, but still with the safety net of fam close. A place where her grandkids can run around, talk shit...she seems happy.
So with home being not always great...I find home in other places...on stage...I miss that....I don't play as many large shows anymore...and I miss that home..
Home is where my family are, my partner and son. Irrespective of where they are, that is my home.
And this place is a home. I comment not at all, but Russell left my words here, an honour I never forget..I come to learn from Access pages, I come to gain knowledge and a perspective when I need it. I see the raruraru...and I stay out of it....I read it, think about it....but this place has always been a sanctuary for me. Some may scoff. Old me probably would...but I love this place, the people that come here to comment, share their opinions, their experiences, and I thank all y'all for that, whether I agree or not; whanau.