Posts by Belt

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  • Hard News: Go Webstock,

    ...in fact... you READ the Kiwiblog comments? Do you have spare time to waste on that activity? Come on now, DPF's posts are worth a daily visit, but the comments... let's take the high road from now on?

    Nelson • Since Nov 2006 • 49 posts Report Reply

  • Hard News: Go Webstock,

    "Speaking of which, big nasty socialist meanies have been having fun with Redbaiter in a Kiwiblog thread about (ostensibly) the party pills legislation"

    Russ.... really.... no more, ok?

    Nelson • Since Nov 2006 • 49 posts Report Reply

  • Hard News: Free Man,

    "But it's scary bigots-a-go-go over at Kiwiblog. Check this out for a comment:"

    Ok, enough now Russ. Picking on Kiwiblog comments is like beating a baby - it's sickening and it takes no skill.

    No more of that, ok?

    Pete

    Nelson • Since Nov 2006 • 49 posts Report Reply

  • Hard News: A depressing day in court,

    Seeing as everyone else is touting it, I invite you, rather belatedly, to vote for Public Address in the 2007 People's Choice NetGuide Web Awards.

    Ok, you have my vote.

    Kiwiblog is equally eligable, were it not for the lowest common denominator participants which continue to drag things down without moderation under the excuse of lack of time and freedom of speech. Yuck.

    Good luck.

    Nelson • Since Nov 2006 • 49 posts Report Reply

  • Hard News: The Arguments,

    I do get the point of David H's post with respect to S59 and human beings, but let me point out that training dogs is all about establishing dominance, and therefore the example doesn't really hold much water.

    Ok, spleen venting time.

    Establishing dominance can be done without hurting the dog if you're patient and use basic techniques - essentially you act like a dog; the alpha leader of the pack. What absolute CRAP about just rewarding positive behaviour. Step 1: establish dominance over your dog, Step 2: make sure it understands your spouse, children and other fragile pets have your protection. Step 3: make sure it understands people, ANY people, are higher up in the hierarchy than it is.

    People who "raise" their dogs using the reward-only method take a huge gamble that the dog doesn't understand its place in life. A very typical example happened to me 2 weeks ago at a public park when a Golden Labrador bowled over my 3 year old who I ordered to stand still in the face of the dog bearing down on him at speed (I could see it had play in mind). I was holding a 7 week old baby in my arms at the time - talk about offering a sacrifice ;). The dog was off the leash and "controlled" by an 8 and a 12 year old that could only offer a "sorry".

    Dogs are animals, and they are pack animals. They need dominating and a strong sense of where they belong in the pack. That's why they get fed last, get trained to have kids take food out of their bowls while they're eating and simply accept it, and so on. THAT is dog training. FFS!!!

    Puppy school my ass. People don't even know jack shit about dogs and are overly concerned with the dog being hurt in some way. Well, I am more concerned about my dogs hurting someone else. Silly me.

    And having said that - I love dogs. But I wish people realised that they have a responsibility to other people first, and their dog second.

    Nelson • Since Nov 2006 • 49 posts Report Reply

  • Busytown: Mon semblable, mon frère…,

    After a 13 year marriage and 15 year relationship to a woman that left me... childless (thank your favourite deity) I met this pocket rocket woman 8 years my junior and in every other respect my senior. And one day she hears me say that I used to want children but my first wife was barren - mentally, mostly, but probably physically as well. The prospect of children had been written off and I was well committed to a selfish life of a Dink until my new betrothed suggested having a child. At 37, that was a new idea - I had written that sort of thing off some time ago. I thought: "why not?", and so started the process of turning me from a self-centred selfish bastard into a subservient selfless parent.

    But it wasn't easy.

    With a father who has never, ever, told me he loves me, and only told me I was a disappointment, I was determined not to "be that man". So I dove into the "full time parent" thing. Luckily, at my age, finances were such that they didn't require me to work extended hours, and decided to become the primary caregiver - turning my annual tax return from something around 100k to 11k. But mum worked 25 hours at near-minimum wage, so we got by.

    But it wasn't easy. No. Nope. Noooooo sir. I resented this baby for ****ing up my life. Not in my worst estimation had I predicted the total surrender required to look after him and totally forgo my own needs.

    In the mean time, Mum got more and more detached because she was going to work (I work from home), and I was seeing first steps, first... whatevers....

    All in all, a bad show.

    Winding forward, we have a nearly four year old that other people constantly tell us is a delight, polite, clever and 'a great reflection on us'.

    Slam dunk.

    So.

    The 2nd arrived 8 weeks ago. I am SO in love. I want a third right now. Mum's not that happy about that idea ;)

    But this baby is getting the Royal Treatment (tm). He's getting the benefit of a "broken in" Dad. A Dad that "knows most of the tricks". And... (here is a heart breaker) where the first didn't smile for 7 months, the 2nd is beaming at me since week 5. If that's not a reflection on the parents, I don't know what is.

    I was ready to have my 3rd 5 minutes after the 2nd was born. Delivery staff nearly had to restrain me to go to the other delivery rooms to "help out" :) I imagined headlines in the local paper: "Overjoyed new father unwanted by other mothers".

    Nothing, and I mean literally NOTHING has phased me with the 2nd. No doubt he will offer his own challenges as time marches on, but he benefits from the hard work put in by his older - doting - brother.

    I regularly apologise to my first son - under my breath - for being a "first parent", and an "old" first parent clinging to his freedom at the same time as wanting a family. The hard times I made my first little man go through... just as well he will never know.

    The good thing is that both of them now enjoy a much better, and relaxed, Dad, and let's see where that takes us.

    My punishment is to have clever children. Yes, I know, all parent's think their children are clever. But in our case, it may just be true. Wish us luck, as our nearly-four year old is already an expert negotiator, and we have made a rod for our backs with our 8-week old who will be absolutely perfect...

    ... as long as he lies in my arms.

    Kids are great. It's taken my 2nd to realise it, and I'm ready for more (not so Mum!). So two it may well be (vasectomy officially suspended), but this Dad has made the transition from a selfish Dink to a selfless parent, and it wasn't easy. Nope.

    It was, however, the best thing I have done to date.

    (And childless people can roll their eyes.... I know how you feel - I used to be one of you ;)

    Nelson • Since Nov 2006 • 49 posts Report Reply

  • Summer Holiday,

    DPF holidays in Golden Bay. Days later - reports of Rock Snot in the Takaka river.

    You connect the dots...

    Nelson • Since Nov 2006 • 49 posts Report Reply

  • Cracker: Rate my Date,

    Richard Wain, to answer you question - I was 36 at the time, she was 28, we both had no children, and both wanted them.

    Sometimes guys have a clock too I guess ;)

    Our frustration has been difficulty in concieving. First attempt took two and a half years, 2nd took one and a half years and miscarried, 3rd one took 8 weeks. (I guess I'm getting the hang of it now).

    It's easy enough to find yourself an "instant family" without the difficulty of conception, birth and nappies. That's why I was looking for a "ok, I have proven I can do the career thing, what's next?" woman. Capable, smart, financially independent, ready to settle down and get to business, yet capable of supporting me in mine - now ours. :)

    I make it sound like I did all that on purpose - on purpose.

    Nah. Sometimes I'm just lucky.

    Nelson • Since Nov 2006 • 49 posts Report Reply

  • Cracker: Rate my Date,

    Met my current wife of 5 years on nz dating dot co dot nz. We have a beautiful 3 year old son and she's currently 2 days overdue with our 2nd. Prior to emailing, phone calls, and the first meeting, I did some dating from the same source. Let's just say you have to be selective, and kind.

    It's a means to an end. I have lived a lot of my life, personal, hobby and professional on the Internet. For me, finding my wife there was quite normal and have never felt any social stigma from it. But I'm easily a nerd.

    I find that people go from "you got to be kidding, really?", to being sometimes envious and curious. The alternatives to finding people aren't necessarily any less effort or risky.

    I recommend serious people to give it a try. Just be sensible - first dates are always lunch dates in public places, and no extended personal contact info is shared. Allows for a good first look-see, and both can back out with minimal risk or damage.

    (I do still chuckle at the women who just had to tell me someone was expecting them to call in one hour - I promised them to only get my axe out in 65 minutes)

    Nelson • Since Nov 2006 • 49 posts Report Reply

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