Posts by Lilith __
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Reminds me of that old joke, "Why don't Fundamentalists have sex standing up?"
Answer: "Because it might lead to dancing." -
But why rule out half the population as possible friends? And why can't you make an emotional connection with someone without having sex?
Cause men can't think about anything but sex (tm).
Apart from when they're being more rational than women (pretty much always) (tm).Hehe. Oh, thinking about sex is allowed. :-) But that doesn't mean it's a good idea or that it won't wreck what you already have.
I may be in a minority but I see sex as an option, not as compulsory. :-)
And a bit of flirtation can be hugely enjoyable. You don't have to be gay to enjoy romantic friendship. At least, no one ever told me I wasn't allowed.
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An old flame of mine is someone I keep in contact with probably once or twice per year. None of my friends, or her friends, can make head or tail of it. "Why would you?", I get asked. After a while, you begin to wonder if it is actually a weird thing to do. Even if it means nothing more to you than catching up with an old and dear friend, the idea that it means more to other people is off-putting.
I'm always a bit suspicious of people who choose partners who they have nothing in common with and no reason to be friends with if they cease to be partners. Obviously there are emotional complications in being friends with an ex, at least for a while after the relationship is over, but with mutual goodwill these can often be overcome. Good people who really understand me and with whom I have heaps in common? They're not all that common, so I like to keep them in my life if at all possible!
And I've had some very close friendships with men I've never been involved with. Yes, sometimes it can get complicated, and sometimes the complication is the assumption of others that if a straight woman likes a straight man then they should be a couple. But why rule out half the population as possible friends? And why can't you make an emotional connection with someone without having sex with them?
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Wonderful post, David. And hilarious comments and stories from everybody, you've really made me day. I'm a 13 on the scale. My problem tends to be switching off the extroversion, not switching it on. :-)
When I think of conversational failure, I think of that wonderful Berlitz ad:
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inaugurated a new page with a distressingly stupid comment
A Visible Panty Line? ;-)
[Where's Ian D when we need him?]
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PAS: better pants stories.
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today my shiny new collapsible walking cane arrived! I'm going on holiday and i do want to see more things than a hotel room, so a cane is essential.
Have a fantastic trip, Sue, I hope you have heaps of energy, and barely have to use your cane at all, except for poking people out of your way :-)
I've found holidays are great mental-health savers, even if they're fairly low key. On my last trip away I spent a couple of days in bed really unwell, but fortunately I was with family who entertained me even when I had to be in bed.
I try to "hope for the best, prepare for the worst". Usually the worst doesn't happen, which is a wonderful surprise every time. :-)
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Dyan, I'm sorry if I was getting you all wrong. I am sometimes guilty of leaping to conclusions! And I can be quite combative too. I don't mean any harm.
It's partly a result of having had to argue my case so many times over the course of my illness. So I'm likely to think, "I know how this goes..."
<note to self: next time ask for clarification first>
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Hi Russell, thanks for that. I certainly didn't intend to jump on/offend anyone. I found it quite hard to figure out what Dyan's main thrust was, as she talked about a lot of different subjects, but it seemed as if she was saying that stress and psychological attitude were pivotal in CFS. If I got that wrong I wholeheartedly apologise. But judging from the comments of others I don't think I was alone in that interpretation.
When people say that CFS is psycholgical, I really see red. I've spent so many years dealing with crippling physical symptoms, and when someone says it's in my mind/brain I feel they're negating my experience.
Perhaps I should have been more general in the way I addressed my remarks. I didn't mean to turn the debate into personal attack, at all. Dyan, if it seemed like that, I didn't mean it.
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I like hearing from other sufferers what's helped them, as long as they don't get evangelistic about it. Also it's interesting to hear what didn't work for someone, like Emma said.
And bearing in mind that correlation isn't causation, and also what helps one person may be useless for another.
I've said the things which have helped me manage my condition, does anyone else here with CFS want to share what they've found helpful? This forum is a great opportunity, if you do.