Posts by Xeno

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  • Field Theory: Stop, Drop and Roll,

    Don't let Michael worry you too much Hayden, I thought the Snapper love was quite endearing - though could possibly tone it down in future bouts - first time's funny and all that.

    No, let Michael worry you Hayden. By the middle of the game, everyone remotely near me was groaning and rolling their eyes whenever you mentioned Snapper. They're not a popular company to start with, lets be honest, and standing in a big long queue with my prepaid ticket while a handful of snapper users waltzed straight through the door did not endear them to us before the game.

    Fact is, we're not there for the MCs, or for the sponsors. We're there for the derby, and you were detracting from your commentary and the game with all that annoying, inane Snapper prattle. We're not stupid and we know when you're talking about the derby, and when you're just cramming sponsorship bollocks down our necks.

    And it was a great game.

    Since Oct 2008 • 27 posts Report

  • Hard News: Ideology for Evidence,

    Once more fat National eats all the pies.

    Since Oct 2008 • 27 posts Report

  • Up Front: Can't We All Just Fucking Get Along?,

    Sense of humour and liking of penises firmly established. They're adorable.

    I don't think being considered small and cute in that department would be a step up. :P

    Since Oct 2008 • 27 posts Report

  • Up Front: The Up Front Guide: Dressing…,

    I'm just so over women wanting to shag me all the time.
    Every time I walk into anywhere, there they are, eyeing me up like a piece of meat.
    I try to put them off by pretending to be Italian.
    I dress as badly as I can, the light marino jumper draped over my shoulders and lightly tied in front to reveal the rugged but hairless chest under the fine linen shirt...
    it doesn't work.

    I can't believe it's not butter.

    Since Oct 2008 • 27 posts Report

  • Up Front: This is a Photograph of Me,

    On the subject of photo ID, how about a gun license? I have perfectly good ID already (I've been overseas in the last 12 months), but I'm curious as to how people would react when you pull it out in the chemists trying to buy real cold medication.

    It's a little pricey, but you'd probably spend more on a car. Unless you *really* like guns.

    Since Oct 2008 • 27 posts Report

  • Up Front: This is a Photograph of Me,

    Emma, are you in town on Saturday? Because I'm having a birthday party, and there will doubtless be people you know from The Old Days there.

    Since Oct 2008 • 27 posts Report

  • Up Front: Do My Homework For Me,

    "the use of urine or excrement in association with degrading or dehumanising conduct or sexual conduct”

    There goes the start of Consider Phlebas. Good book too.

    Since Oct 2008 • 27 posts Report

  • Up Front: All Together Now,

    Keir, your argument would seem to apply to any employment. I certainly only turn up at the office because I'm paid to. Does that make my employer a kidnapper?

    Since Oct 2008 • 27 posts Report

  • Up Front: Same as it Ever Was,

    Things that didn't actually happen, but looked briefly like they had...

    (I blame my youth. I was only 30 at the time)

    So, it was the second night of the annual 48 hour party, and somebody had dropped a wine-glass into the main toilet and broken it beyond repair. Copious amounts of duct tape was tried, but did really work. It was an ex-toilet, and furthermore, I was the lucky fellow who got to stick his hand into the still fouled toilet (when we still thought it might be patched up for another night) in order to fish out the broken glass. This is not the point of the story however. The point is that everybody had to use my en-suite instead. So after the jelly wresting, it was natural that all the wrestlers would take a shower together in my en-suite, leaving it littered with bikinis and jelly.

    In the interests of truth I have to say that only some of these women were actually attracted to other women, so what you're probably thinking (something involving soap perhaps?) probably didn't happen. Much.

    This however, combined with tree-roots, was too much for the drains. The final toilet backed up and we had to send everybody home. The following day we got the plumber out, and he set to work on the drains with the burrowing hose, and replaced the broken bowl.

    I'm still disappointed that some helpful soul cleaned up my en-suite before he arrived however, removing all the jelly and bikinis.

    Since Oct 2008 • 27 posts Report

  • Speaker: How to Look Good as a Nazi,

    I would have thought an Oktoberfest party would be about Beer, Blouses and Lederhosen, rather than Nazis and Concentration Camps. Lincoln aye? You'd think those stupid sheep-shaggers could at least get stereotypes involving beer right.

    You have to wonder when we're going to get over the war. How many other countries do you describe in terms of the 40s? Modern pop-culture references like Rammstein for example don't get a look in. The comments here have filled up with armchair military historians, almost by reflex it seems. Like a dog with it's own vomit, or an adolescent with a collection of obsessively painted SS wargaming figurines, we just can't seem to leave it alone.

    Collectively, I think that makes us borish at the very least. We might as well all be Lincoln Students, or Australians. At least we're not Americans though. They stuck a bloody great WWII memorial in the middle of their National Mall just a few years ago, and just to demonstrate that they really don't understand irony it features prominent eagles and quotations about military power.

    (The use of stereotypes here is intentionally ironic. Can't you take a joke?)

    Since Oct 2008 • 27 posts Report

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