Up Front by Emma Hart

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Up Front: P.A. Story

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  • Ian Dalziel,

    Steam smut...
    this could get some traction with that flakey
    black eared fun guy Sooty at the wheel...

    <passing thought>
    guess this whole phone hacking thing means
    we won't be seeing Rupert the Peer...
    <fade>

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report Reply

  • Lilith __, in reply to Ian Dalziel,

    Rupert the Peer

    Fry and Laurie, brilliant as always:

    Dunedin • Since Jul 2010 • 3894 posts Report Reply

  • icehawk,

    Is geology-porn a genre?

    In Aotearoa the genre has long roots. The old story of ground-meets-sky and fuck!

    Wellington • Since Sep 2008 • 49 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel,

    Born again...

    Striking resemblance to Citizen Kane....
    and some great sound bites (nudge - Media 7):

    “A newspaper can create great controversies, stir up arguments within the community, can throw lights on injustices,” he said, “just as it can do the opposite: hide things, be a great power for evil.”

    ...and I'm thinking, in a massive irony, Steve Coogan could play the young Rupert very well!
    source

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes, in reply to Islander,

    Mononoke" is especially hard to get out your head...

    And Bukakei is hard to get out of your hair, these Japanese have some strange kinkies
    There you go, international smut...
    ;-)

    Peria • Since Dec 2006 • 5521 posts Report Reply

  • Phil fryer,

    It musta been rainy morning,coulda been a rainy night,when Tim Oliphant
    swaggered into town,smile on his face,an a stenson on his head,the p dealers left town,vertical smiles widened,gays got frisky,& the beat goes on !

    Laingholm • Since Mar 2011 • 34 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen, in reply to Phil fryer,

    an a stenson on his head

    I'm confused, why is he wearing a Swedish golfer on his head? Not that I'm worried about the concept just trying to get to grips with the imagery.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 4460 posts Report Reply

  • Lilith __, in reply to Bart Janssen,

    why is he wearing a Swedish golfer on his head?

    I think a stetson might be the thing! Stubble optional.

    Dunedin • Since Jul 2010 • 3894 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen, in reply to Lilith __,

    a stetson

    Are you suggesting it was a simple typo?

    Nah I'm sure there is a reason for the Swedish golfer I just want to understand it.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 4460 posts Report Reply

  • andin, in reply to Bart Janssen,

    Are you suggesting it was a simple typo?

    Well there we were transfixed by the awesome funkness of a pre-white Michael Jackson. The next song kicked in and up a gear Ulrich was deadset certain the lyric mentioned heads. But I think he …wanted to be starting something ....damn Stenson!
    I remain convinced to this very moment I was up off the floor, funking in gold.

    raglan • Since Mar 2007 • 1891 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel,

    sonofagun...
    Stenson - Golf? Pah!
    obviously this is an offspring of a sten gun.
    This Oliphant chappie is clearly a Top Gun,
    with a head-mounted sub-submachine gun
    - shooting mean looks about the place....



    the ongoing PAStiche...
    I've been thinking some more about Sayana's excellent page 1 suggestion of alternate realities interacting - a kind of Mievillesque tale of two cities ...
    adding the aspects of Fringe with alternate worlds (toss in a pinch of Zelazny's Princes in Amber and Moorcock's Multiverse) plus the possibility of a inter-dimensional portal in the heart of the city - hinted at in the photo on The Press's front page today, of the black hole where the city centre was...
    And as we all know (the council told us) Christchurch is a lot like Melbourne:

    There are immediate similarities between the two cities - including the regular street pattern, a river that wends its way through the city and an awareness of the need for recovery.

    so out in the unrepairable riparian Red Zones where the wide and mighty Avon/Nova River wends its way from the west, through the unstable zone and out past sundered banks, and broken homes, strange artifacts wash up amidst the large ships that ply these waters. Above it all one hears the Sirens calling beguilingly to the unwary, small children are chained to stop them being spirited away...

    and somewhere amidst the rubble and trouble, St Richie's Winkie twinkles pinkly, unseen, waiting... waiting for a hero, or a metro-hetero, or just a simple twist of fate.

    Enter the simple sheriff - Innspectre Dirk Arsemouse (Switch Finder General and Protector of the Incandescent orbs) and his murky men!

    now, write on...

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel,

    John Key on wild goose chase
    despite his protestations of wishing to help with rebuilding Chch (and therefore this story) he has been lead up a garden path by malignant sprites, and has headed off to the USA apparently in search of the Holy Grail!


    ...and as the TPPA deal drew closer, poor John suddenly realised - "oh dear Mammon, those aren't Eagles, they're Vultures!"

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report Reply

  • Lyndon Hood,

    After describing how I look today, I have just been told "Mr Stubble and the Camo Coat" would make a good sort story.

    Consider it yours.

    I didn't mention my red and purple wooly hat and scarf.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1115 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen,

    Struggling to figure out how this could be incorporated into the narrative.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 4460 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart, in reply to Bart Janssen,

    Struggling to figure out how this could be incorporated into the narrative.

    I've already worked in one Whedonverse joke (did someone say the manatee was an angel? Yes they did.) This must be doable.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • andin,

    raglan • Since Mar 2007 • 1891 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes, in reply to andin,

    Research confirms

    That most researchers don't understand dogs.
    ;-)

    Peria • Since Dec 2006 • 5521 posts Report Reply

  • Islander, in reply to Steve Barnes,

    Abso-bloody-lutely!
    I dont own a pet (the axolotyl just inhabits its tank) but all the family dogowners can give examples of when their dog has crossed permitted boundaries and displays appeasive or ‘guilty’ behaviour.
    Let’s remember that some researchers didnt believe human babies could feel pain – let alone apes & other mammals – up until relatively recent times…

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel, in reply to Ian Dalziel,

    Event horrors on...
    Better version of the photo of
    the dark heart of Chch
    <photo credit - Ivan Woods>

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes, in reply to Islander,

    some researchers didnt believe human babies could feel pain – let alone apes & other mammals

    In this respect I must agree with the researchers. Human babies should not be feeling apes or other mammals, think of the bacteria,. Does nobody think of the children?

    Peria • Since Dec 2006 • 5521 posts Report Reply

  • Islander, in reply to Steve Barnes,

    Hmmm: stretching the syntax just a weeeee bit there Steve B!

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Jane Pearson, in reply to Ian Dalziel,

    There is something heartbreakingly haunting about that photo.

    Since Feb 2010 • 28 posts Report Reply

  • recordari, in reply to Emma Hart,

    (did someone say the manatee was an angel? Yes they did.)

    An angle [sic] at my table. Obtuse triangular redheads in a royal romp. Well, it’s not necessarily in the right Frame, but dammit, Janet, Dr Scott, Janet, Brad, Rocky.*

    *Geologist.

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report Reply

  • Islander, in reply to recordari,

    *Geologist.

    Sweet!

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

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