Southerly by David Haywood

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Southerly: Confessions of a Social Retard

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  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    I get told I'm weird here in NZ a lot more than I did in Canada, but those may be cultural differences. Not sure.

    Possibly is cultural, as I get that a bit too and hope that's it, but I have noticed and just so you know Dyan, I think you are a pleasure to be around, so keep up your good ways. :)

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6796 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel,

    why, that's fightin' talk...

    ...but I like taking to taxi drivers, hair dressers, bus drivers... anyone really.

    dang! down girl!
    it's gonna be compulsory cameras
    in the hair salons now, too!
    ' - )

    [pedant heads back to hill...]

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    Small talk irritates me as it irritates pretty much everyone on earth

    Blame these guys.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes,

    You must miss the old country Gio.
    ;-)

    Peria • Since Dec 2006 • 5521 posts Report Reply

  • recordari,

    You all just need to take lessons...
    A quote for the ages;

    There are no small topics, only small people. But you're a bigger person so involve yourself in small talk, and enjoy your life.

    That'll learn 'em!

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    You must miss the old country Gio.

    We don't do small talk in Italy. We go straight to either eatin' or fornicatin'. Sometimes both.

    Never an awkward social moment.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Lucy Stewart,

    But the important one would surely be children, rather than adults. In adults it's a relatively easy diagnosis compared to pre-verbal children. And considering the massively amplified dividends of early intervention, that's where it would pay off the most.

    Yeah, that's pretty much what I was thinking. But it's not like it wouldn't be helpful to extend it to women, too.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2105 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes,

    Mammoth may be a contender for WOTY. I shall certainly be using it in small talk from now on.

    Peria • Since Dec 2006 • 5521 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    Hmm, there's Mammoth vodka (a friend, knowing I like elephant species, sent me the shoulder patch) and 'mammoth = large' and well,mammoth...which this quirk-ridden consiousness persists in seeing as Mam moth - she's a pretty big flying bugger, eh?

    With you Steve B re small talk-

    me, slightly desperate, "And what do you think of ressurecting um - mammoths! Via DNA of course?"

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    Just incidentally, unlike some elephant species, mammoths never seem to have had a pygmy variant.... (snort!)

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    Mammoth may be a contender for WOTY. I shall certainly be using it in small talk from now on.

    I like

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    "nosh nouse" ????
    Thank you, Harold.
    I didnt think it was possible, in these days of spellcheck & online dictionaries, for even the likes of your pathetic equivalents of journalists, to commit such a rubbish alliteration.


    NOUS

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Stewart,

    Probably followed words they knew: nous rhymes with 'louse' and I know how to spell that rather than nous rhymes with 'yous' ("Yous guys...").

    Nice thread - of course I'm now off for a long-distance run...

    For which, I'll need me coat.

    Te Ika A Maui - Whakatane… • Since Oct 2008 • 577 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    Stewart - heh!
    BUT

    nous is the word: it's not hard to check. For goodness' sake, there are PRONOUNCING dictionaries on-line.

    Enjoy the long-distance coat-

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle,

    I was astonished, and wished to be back in Canada where that kind of crap would have been strongly discouraged in grade school by disgusted peers who'd have said "grow up" or "stop being such bitches" by the time they were 8 or 10 years old.

    Dyan, I am willing to believe many great things of Canada. My mother lived there for several years in the 1960s and has nothing but nice things to say about it. I love the Kids in the Hall, Neil Young, the New Pornographers, Samantha Bee, and Anne of Green Gables. But I am afraid I must say this: it stretches the bounds of my practically limitless credulity for you to assert that Canada is a land without such bitchiness.

    ETA a smiley or something, because I'm not entirely serious.

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report Reply

  • Stewart,

    Not sure that my "arriving late in the thread" and my "tends to post about twice & then disappear" make me seem socially retarded in this medium; I tend to go OK in face-to-face* situations.




    * Considered poor joke along the "face-to-<other than face>" lines but cunningly withdrew...

    Te Ika A Maui - Whakatane… • Since Oct 2008 • 577 posts Report Reply

  • Lucy Stewart,

    Just incidentally, unlike some elephant species, mammoths never seem to have had a pygmy variant.... (snort!)

    They seem to have here and here.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2105 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    It was a joke I believe Lucy. (Small talk - mammoth.)

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    Lucy - o truly cool! Limited to majorly island populations - figures.
    Hasnt impacted on popular wisdom, but I relish this- proboscids Rule OK -anyway?

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • dyan campbell,

    it stretches the bounds of my practically limitless credulity for you to assert that Canada is a land without such bitchiness.

    It's not that Canadian society is without bitchiness or bullying, but it is censured very sharply and very early. Bullies are punished by their peers - there is a sharp "grow up" for every disgraceful display like the one I witnessed at an Auckland party. By adulthood the urge to be a bitch - and I include men in this - is tempered by the admittedly shallow cultural expectation that you at least appear confident, unthreatened and gracious, otherwise you are obviously a sad loser.

    So I'm not saying nastiness doesn't exist, but what I am saying is it would not have been expressed in that form past the age of 8 or 10, and the censure would most likely have come from the opposite sex. Actually it's quite well depicted in the Tina Fey film Mean Girls where the heroine finally stoops to the other girls' level, only to have the cute boy she loves recoil in disgust, saying "I thought you weren't like that." Here, I have heard people express pride in how bitchy their partners are, as if their rudeness or conceit is somehow a measure of their importance.

    However much animosity there might be between people in Canada, to appear as unsubtly cruel and obviously threatened would be very, very uncool. Peers - even in grade school - would express disapproval. The Valentine's Day Box is feared by every bully, as children vote with their Valentines.

    The kind of slight Canadian women are known for is like the time I crossed paths with Barbara Amiel, the wife of disgraced publisher Conrad Black. I was working as the receptionist for a big publishing firm (back in the late 70s) and Barbara Amiel, who'd met me many times, waved her hand at me saying "You... you... I can never remember your name..."

    auckland • Since Dec 2006 • 595 posts Report Reply

  • Rich Lock,

    Autism can be diagnosed with a brain scan

    Interesting, but extremely preliminary, given the numbers involved and the fact that they only looked at adult men.

    I did read it with my special patented Ben Goldacre Bad Science detecting glasses firmly in place.

    I have been told by people in the past that to disagree with their position was the same as being socially difficult. So I am not sure how I rate.

    Interesting. My wife (from the UK) enjoys a vigorous discussion, but has been rather taken aback a couple of times (in NZ) to be told how 'aggressive' she is. To which she wanted to reply 'well, rather that than your passive-aggressive response'. But that would have been rude....

    I've been pondering the whole 'social enabler' thing. I noticed some years ago that the kind of people I tend to be drawn to are those who are very...wysiwyg...for want of a better phrase. Not necessarily the most charismatic/sunny people in the room, but those that call a spade a spade, and aren't shy about letting you know that up front. I am terrible at reading between the lines of conversation or behavioural characteristics.

    That cliched scene in films/tv where the heroine runs out after an argument with the hero, screaming 'I never want to see you again', and the poor doofus has to have it explained to him by a convenient 3rd party that, really, what she wants is for him to go after her? I mean, seriously, if she wanted to keep shouting at him, why didn't she just bloody stay there, then?

    How does that fit in with the experience of other high scorers?

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2728 posts Report Reply

  • JackElder,

    Q: How do you spot an extroverted [stereotypical profession/social group]?

    A: They stare at _your_ shoes when talking to you.

    Wellington • Since Mar 2008 • 709 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    Q: How do you spot an extroverted [stereotypical profession/social group]?

    A: They stare at _your_ shoes when talking to you.

    When people do this, I tend to check my shoes - I have more than once inadvertently worn mismatched pairs in professional situations.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    Dyan, as a counter, I give you Sean Avery, born in Ontario.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    Q: How do you spot an extroverted [stereotypical profession/social group]?

    A: They stare at _your_ shoes when talking to you.

    Not necessarily -- I know a teacher who used to be driven nuts by PI students who wouldn't make eye contact with her. What she read as disrespect or evasiveness was, in another socio-cultural context, an expression of deference to her position in a clearly defined and rigid social hierarchy.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

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