OnPoint by Keith Ng

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OnPoint: P is for Potential

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  • Paul Brislen,

    Oooh, I like it!

    Plus it means we can move those surplus science teachers out of the schools (where they're just getting in the way now we focus on readin' rightin and rythmatic) and back in the lab where they can be productive members of society!

    Like it. Like it a lot.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 200 posts Report Reply

  • Martin Lindberg,

    Don't forget that burnt-out P-labs are a great tourist attraction.

    I wish I was totally joking, but J Brownlee said on radio this morning that mines have great value as tourist attractions. Can't find the link, but it really sounded like Sean Plunket (?) was taking the piss. Brownlee not so much.

    Stockholm • Since Jul 2009 • 802 posts Report Reply

  • Kit McLean,

    Great work Keith. But really I think you're doing P a disservice with this analogy. P Labs are in fact a ‘value adding’ process using innovation and technology. They take a raw product, ContacNT, process it and sell it at a massive profit. With mining we are effectively producing ContacNT to sell to the foreign owned labs who’ll do the processing, marketing and sales and make the real money. Let’s not go insinuating that NZ is anything more than a primary produce basket…

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 24 posts Report Reply

  • Rich Lock,

    I've heard that P-manufacture produces a lot of toxic byproducts that are bad for the environment.

    Does worrying about this make me some sort of commie-socialist treehugger? Should I see a doctor?

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2728 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Semmens,

    Does worrying about this make me some sort of commie-socialist treehugger?

    The government has plans for you as well - you'll be prevented from working anywhere but in the mining industry. As minister Bennett said on this matter yesterday "Sure, its a vindictive piece of discrimination but I think that is a discrimination that most New Zealanders will see as being fair and reasonable.”

    Sevilla, Espana • Since Nov 2006 • 2213 posts Report Reply

  • Lyndon Hood,

    I approve of this post.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1115 posts Report Reply

  • Hilary Stace,

    Potential for many part time jobs in school hours with school holidays off for single mothers, and maybe even the provision of on-site creches.

    Wgtn • Since Jun 2008 • 3205 posts Report Reply

  • Che Tibby,

    not sure if kids on P need a creche so much as a large paddock with high fences.

    and Xbox.

    the back of an envelope • Since Nov 2006 • 2042 posts Report Reply

  • Martin Roberts,

    feadin' fightin and rythmatics

    Hip-hop meets P?

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 93 posts Report Reply

  • Grace Dalley,

    Keith, you made me choke on my Milo, that is very funny!

    If we converted all our dairy farms into P labs, we could buy China and pay America to deliver it while wearing a tutu.

    ROTFL! Choke, choke.

    All we need now is David Haywood to outline how the Reserve Bank can get involved.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2008 • 138 posts Report Reply

  • Ian MacKay,

    You could bring in the role that Innovative Science could play: More concentrated P. Packaging companies. Advertising dollars to rescue TVNZ. And just imagine how quickly the Pee Party could rout all those stick in the mud politicians who mutter the negatives. 2011: The Pee Party lead by Brownlie and Bennet holds a 98% majority!
    A very clever, funny, sad piece of writing Keith.

    Bleheim • Since Nov 2006 • 498 posts Report Reply

  • MikeE,

    The irony is while trying to be funny about mining, you make a valid point about drug legalisation, and the role of the black market economy.

    One wonders whether that point (look I made a P reference) is lost on the OP tho..

    Kingsland • Since Nov 2006 • 138 posts Report Reply

  • Andre Alessi,

    I think we're all overlooking the potential cash cow in the room:

    P tourism.

    Big spending foreigners from all over will come to marvel at our efficient and environmentally friendly P labs, buying locally produced baggies and glass pipes, talk with real actual P users about all the wonderful things P has done for themselves and their communities, and generally pay us lots of money just to do what we'd be doing anyway.

    Devonport, New Zealand • Since Nov 2006 • 864 posts Report Reply

  • Sam F,

    Wouldn't even need to change the tourism slogan...

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1609 posts Report Reply

  • Rich Lock,

    Wouldn't even need to change the tourism slogan...

    Now that did make me chortle.

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2728 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Semmens,

    The thing is though National is desperate for money. Mining, a brown manilla envelope stuffed with Yen being handed to Mordor McCully at the next IWC meeting, money grabs from the supercity - they are desperate for anything. They have to give big tax cuts to their benefactors in May, but they don't have the pingers since they can't privatise anything just now. They are bringing out all the usual zombie suspects from the nineties for their razor gangs and Mr. Joyce is busily planting stories to smooth the path, but a cheeky 50+ million from the defence won't cut it.

    The May budget is going to see some major slashing and burning to pay for tax cuts, so the dismal Mr. English can again subject us to the failed policies of nineties.

    Beneficiary bashing, killing fragile nascent recoveries with black budgets and plunging us back into a deep recession just as the rest of the world recovers in the hope trickle down will save us - why don't they just make Jenny Shipley PM again and be done with it?

    Sevilla, Espana • Since Nov 2006 • 2213 posts Report Reply

  • Lyndon Hood,

    It's a shame that Hayley Westenra album didn't have a title track or we could use it for a new national anthem.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1115 posts Report Reply

  • Keith Ng,

    Let’s not go insinuating that NZ is anything more than a primary produce basket…

    I am, after all, ambitious for New Zealand.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 543 posts Report Reply

  • Keith Ng,

    All we need now is David Haywood to outline how the Reserve Bank can get involved.

    It's very true. I overlooked the monetary impact of this proposal. Naturally, it'll only be good.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 543 posts Report Reply

  • Keith Ng,

    The irony is while trying to be funny about mining, you make a valid point about drug legalisation, and the role of the black market economy.

    No, really, I didn't! My point was that random measures like "divide product value by land area/number of employees" and one-sided revenue analyses are pretty retarded, and you can make practically anything sound good with them.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 543 posts Report Reply

  • Keith Ng,

    Wouldn't even need to change the tourism slogan...

    LOLZ. I feel a photoshop coming on...

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 543 posts Report Reply

  • 81stcolumn,

    Does worrying about this make me some sort of commie-socialist treehugger? Should I see a doctor?

    No need to see a doctor we have a special Island for people like you....

    Nawthshaw • Since Nov 2006 • 790 posts Report Reply

  • Kirsten Brethouwer,

    genius!

    Waiheke Island • Since Nov 2006 • 35 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel,

    P could assume a religious role in society,
    Bish Tamaki could franchise out a chain
    of leathery sub-urbane DesTinny houses...
    ...and Methadust Tabernackersyards!
    and of course there'll still be PE at school...

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7896 posts Report Reply

  • Sam F,

    We're okay, we're alright...

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1609 posts Report Reply

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